use alot more lube and RELAX. Having a drink or two beforehand could help you relax. Also try having your legs closed. I researched anal sex and techniques and what to do your first time before i tried it. Having your legs closed is supposed to make your ass looser (unlike the vagina being tighted when legs are closed). Try with a finger or two slowly to get used to the feeling. Don't let your partner just start going at it at their speed! Go slow and let him inch in slowly. Allowing him to go an inch at a time will let you get used to the penis in u and it slowly stretches you out also. Good luck. And if you start bleeding again stop immediately!