I got the idea for this post from another one. The one that asks about why do women have an anal fetish.

I am female and my husband of course is male. He has done anal penetration on me, with his own private parts and a toy and fingers. Because he always got to do things like that to me, one day after much begging, he finally let me put a finger in him. He did not like it though, and has not been open to trying anything at all since then. I'm not sure if he thinks anal play is gay for men, or if he really just honestly didn't enjoy it. I would LOVE to be able to finger him or use toys on him or even a strap on, but I don't think it will ever happen. And yes I have talked to him about it. He knows how I feel and that I want to do things like that, but he just doesn't want me to.

So should I just keep it in my fantasys? Is there anyway to open him up more to anal play? Any suggestions at all? less

As already suggested, go slow. Don't insist on using your finger immediately. Start with just stimulating his perineum using your tongue or massaging the area with a lubed hand/finger. Once he realizes how sensitive and pleasurable this area can be, he might be more receptive initially to inserting your finger and then more. Good luck! less

Don't push it - start with adding perinium and/or buttock stimulation to something else (handjob/blowjob/whate ver). As he gets more comfortable with it you could try to talk to him about external anal stimulation, where you rub a lubricated finger over the anus and anal area without penetrating - good for getting used to the stimulation. The bad thing is that he might be thinking about where this might lead and not enjoy it. less

I got the idea for this post from another one. The one that asks about why do women have an anal fetish.

I am female and my husband of course is male. He has done anal penetration on me, with his own private parts and a toy and fingers. Because he always got to do things like that to me, one day after much begging, he finally let me put a finger in him. He did not like it though, and has not been open to trying anything at all since then. I'm not sure if he thinks anal play is gay for men, or if he really just honestly didn't enjoy it. I would LOVE to be able to finger him or use toys on him or even a strap on, but I don't think it will ever happen. And yes I have talked to him about it. He knows how I feel and that I want to do things like that, but he just doesn't want me to.

So should I just keep it in my fantasys? Is there anyway to open him up more to anal play? Any suggestions at all? less

Shannon, The guy doesn't know what he's missing! I am single, without a girlfriend, I wish I had a lady like you to do ALL those things to me!

Try a 69 position, and just lightly rub a wet (spit will work fine) finger over the outer perimeter of his anus. Let him know that using a toy, strap on, and/or finger is your fantasy, and that only HE can fulfill it. See what happens. less

I got the idea for this post from another one. The one that asks about why do women have an anal fetish.

I am female and my husband of course is male. He has done anal penetration on me, with his own private parts and a toy and fingers. Because he always got to do things like that to me, one day after much begging, he finally let me put a finger in him. He did not like it though, and has not been open to trying anything at all since then. I'm not sure if he thinks anal play is gay for men, or if he really just honestly didn't enjoy it. I would LOVE to be able to finger him or use toys on him or even a strap on, but I don't think it will ever happen. And yes I have talked to him about it. He knows how I feel and that I want to do things like that, but he just doesn't want me to.

So should I just keep it in my fantasys? Is there anyway to open him up more to anal play? Any suggestions at all? less

i was the same as your hubby, my wife begged me and tried a finger....i hated it the first time! a month later she tried again and i was relaxed, soon one finger was two then three....3 years later its big toys and strap-ons....love it....he will come around less

I got the idea for this post from another one. The one that asks about why do women have an anal fetish.

I am female and my husband of course is male. He has done anal penetration on me, with his own private parts and a toy and fingers. Because he always got to do things like that to me, one day after much begging, he finally let me put a finger in him. He did not like it though, and has not been open to trying anything at all since then. I'm not sure if he thinks anal play is gay for men, or if he really just honestly didn't enjoy it. I would LOVE to be able to finger him or use toys on him or even a strap on, but I don't think it will ever happen. And yes I have talked to him about it. He knows how I feel and that I want to do things like that, but he just doesn't want me to.

So should I just keep it in my fantasys? Is there anyway to open him up more to anal play? Any suggestions at all? less

When you put your finger in him, were you also giving him a nice blow job simultaneously? I kinda have the same situation like you. He wouldn't let me finger him at the beginning, but several sessions later I stuck my lubricated finger into him while he was enjoying my blowjob, he ejaculated immediately (although he still pretended he didn't want me to touch his ass!). less

Shan, just thought I'd comment that I'm a guy in the same position of wanting this but my wife isn't into it. At least not yet. I'd repeat what everyone said with not pushing it but also letting him know how you feel. It seems like there's always one side of the relationship that's more into it than the other but sometimes the other side ends up enjoying it once they get into it. The key is not forcing them to do it since there's very little chance of them enjoying it then. One option you may look into if he's not into anal at all really is to look into one of the aneros toys. They'll help him learn more about the feelings you can experience and there not too intimidating. Best of luck to you 2. less

Thanks for the advice Brian! I am not pushing at all. It's just kind of a fantasy of mine. He knows I want to do things like that with him, and it's brought up every now and then, but it's never forced on him. I've learned I've just gotta take it slow and that he still may never enjoy it. less

Would he come on to Eden and see that anal play for a man does NOT "equal Gay?" Men have just as many sensory endings in their anus as women, AND they have a prostate gland, that provides even more pleasure.

Some educating about how anal love works, and his seeing how many men here, who are straight and married etc and still love to engage in recipient anal play might help him. less