The New Intimacy

Lost interest in anal

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Contributor: deejay deejay
I have been married for going on 14 years. I took her anal cherry a very early into the relationship. She really seemed to enjoy it, and on several occasions would even tell me verbally to put it in her ass.

Fast forward to the last couple years or so. I think we have done anal two or three times. Usually after a lot of rubbing my tip around her hole. I have been trying to have anal with her, and her responce is "I don't really like it that way"

Well, for 12 years it was never an issue, and in fact quite commonplace. Why such a drastic change? I feel that after so many years of doing it, how can she all of a sudden not like it anymore?
02/04/2013
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Contributor: *Camoprincess* *Camoprincess*
Quote:
Originally posted by deejay
I have been married for going on 14 years. I took her anal cherry a very early into the relationship. She really seemed to enjoy it, and on several occasions would even tell me verbally to put it in her ass.

Fast forward to the last couple ... more
That would be something you would have to ask her. I mean it could be like almost anything else I know after eating the same thing all the time I tend to stay away from it for a good bit or forever. Same with sex stuff if I am doing something all the time an I am not interested but don't say anything and keep doing it because my partner enjoys it, it then becomes a chore for me. That is usually when I speak up on the not wanting to do it anymore.
02/04/2013
Contributor: edeneve edeneve
could be any thing. talk w/ her w/o accusing.
02/04/2013
Contributor: epiphanyjayne epiphanyjayne
I can't speak for her, so you will have to ask her. but I can speculate: maybe she has bowel issues she's been hiding, maybe even hemorrhoids.
also overtime our tastes change in positions and other sexual activities.
02/05/2013
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Isn't that odd - after 23 years of telling me no - my wife is starting to enjoy anal sex, she even initiated it for the first time. Good luck!
02/05/2013
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
I'll echo others - communication.

The big thing would be to not make it sound like there's an expectation for it. That can lead to guilt and/or resentment on her part.
02/05/2013
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
Look outside of the sex to the relationship. A strong relationship is the best way to have a good sex life.

That said, she might really not like anal and be at a point where she's tired of "putting up with it". In that case you might be out of luck, or you might be able to get back in there if you commit to a technique change. In either case, bugging her about it probably won't help matters - back up a bit and go slow.
02/06/2013
Contributor: deejay deejay
Talking with her lead to the following....

She does like it, but it us not her prefered activity. In other words, she would much rather have vaginal. As would I. But in some instances, IE her period, Anal would be an option for us both to have pleasure.
02/08/2013
Contributor: ScottA ScottA
Quote:
Originally posted by deejay
Talking with her lead to the following....

She does like it, but it us not her prefered activity. In other words, she would much rather have vaginal. As would I. But in some instances, IE her period, Anal would be an option for us both to have ... more
Not too surprising. There are two things you can do as a couple if you want to improve the anal. The first is to figure out ways to make anal more stimulating for her, the second is to try out a toy to give her vaginal/clitoral stimulation at the same time.
02/10/2013