The New Intimacy

What about anal gets you off (as a female)? And other anal questions.

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Contributor: LuckyStars LuckyStars
My fiancee loves anal, so I do it for him. It's very painful for me and so I wonder what it is that gets women off on it?
Am I doing it wrong?
Is it not painful for you?
How do you make it less painful?
06/21/2011
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Contributor: MaryExy MaryExy
I haven't had a pain problem with toys anally except for when I left my Pure Plug in a bit too long (just sore, my guess is from the weight pushing on the sphincter). Most posts I've seen say it shouldn't hurt. Advice I've seen:

1. Always warm up with fingers, toys, etc.
2. Use plenty of lube
3. Go slowly and be patient
06/21/2011
Contributor: Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
I love anal sex. As long as there is enough warm up play with lots and lots, and LOTS of lube, it does not hurt me at all. It feels incredible. I insist on it being a regular part of our sex life.

Are you doing it wrong? - Could be. Are you using a ton of lube? Making sure that it gets inside as well as on whatever is being inserted helps immensely.

Are you sure you are ready before you begin? - Starting with something small and working your way up to your partner is a must for some. If you are just going full-on anal, this can be the causing some of your pain and not allowing your sphincter to relax, can cause pain in and of itself. If you associate anal sex with pain, you might be clenching your sphincter upon penetration. Relaxation is KEY!

Going slow is SO important! There are sometimes I need my husband to just be perfectly still (NO THRUSTING) and let me ease my way on to him. It can take 10 minutes sometimes, before I am relaxed enough to let him do whatever he wants to do. It just depends on the day and how I am feeling at the time.

Anal training - from something as small as a fingertip to something as large as a penis - can take a long time! For some, months. Just remember to use a ton of lube, go slow and RELAX. If you are in pain, STOP and back off. It should not hurt.

It also helps to have some sort of clitoral stimulation while anal penetration is happening. Hope this helps.

Good luck.
06/21/2011
Contributor: Waterfall Waterfall
I haven't really experienced a lot of pain with anal, only a few times when a base has been uncomfortable or when I didn't warm up properly. I have learned that warming up when it comes to anal play is VERY important and this will decrease a chance for pain. Also using a good amount of lube (that lasts for a while) and taking my time works for me. I have to be in the mood for anal to really enjoy it. I like the feeling of fullness that I get and sometimes I like the sensations from slowly thrusting. I tend to enjoy anal play more when I am stimulating my g-spot with a small toy or my clitoris.
06/21/2011
Contributor: Coralbell Coralbell
I haven't had a problem with pain during anal. For me the most important thing was learning to relax my muscles. And of course, make sure to use lots of lube.
06/21/2011
Contributor: AngelvMaynard AngelvMaynard
Quote:
Originally posted by Redboxbaby
I love anal sex. As long as there is enough warm up play with lots and lots, and LOTS of lube, it does not hurt me at all. It feels incredible. I insist on it being a regular part of our sex life.

Are you doing it wrong? - Could be. Are you ... more
I wanted to add to what you said about needing your husband to be perfectly still. It takes me a lot of lube and a LOT of warming up. I always insist on being in control of the insertion and he isn't allowed to start thrusting until I say it's ok. I have to get past what I call "The Ring Of Fire" which can take 5 minutes or 15 minutes, but once I'm past it and everything is warmed up it can be glorious!! No shame in going slow and your own pace. I allow him the same courtesy when the positions are reversed
07/01/2011