Does Anorgasmia dissuade you from pleasuring yourself?

Contributor: Raymaker Raymaker
I'm just one of those weirdos who doesn't really ever get off, but it doesn't discourage me for the most part. I used to be insecure about it, but I still really enjoy myself these days after learning it's relatively common, and isn't always remedied by just learning a lot about yourself, sex, and anatomy.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
12  (43%)
3  (11%)
7  (25%)
3  (11%)
3  (11%)
Total votes: 28
Poll is open
08/28/2015
  • Save Extra 50% On Sexobot Attachment
  • Upgrade Your Hands-Free Play!
  • Complete strap-on set for extra 15% off
  • Save 50% On Shower Nozzle With Enema Set
  • Enjoy 50% Off Selected Items
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
All promotions
Contributor: edenite edenite
I've gone through periods of anorgasmia for various reasons. The extent of how it effects me depends on my motivation for solo play. If my intention is using it as a cure for insomnia I get frustrated if I don't cum. If I'm just bored and amusing myself, I'm usually not even focusing on trying to orgasm, and doesn't matter to me if I do or not. If anything it's nice that it lasts longer, lol.

I do definitely masturbate more when I find that I'm cumming pretty easily, just because I love those endorphins!
08/29/2015
Contributor: Inquisitor Inquisitor
Please forgive my ignorance, but, would it be possible for someone to explain what Anorgasmia is?
08/31/2015
Contributor: edenite edenite
Quote:
Originally posted by Inquisitor
Please forgive my ignorance, but, would it be possible for someone to explain what Anorgasmia is?
anorgasmia is the inability or regular difficulty in achieving orgasms. Causes can be medical, physical, psychological, and/or emotional. As Raymaker mentioned it isn't always as simple as learning your body.
09/01/2015
Contributor: Inquisitor Inquisitor
Quote:
Originally posted by edenite
anorgasmia is the inability or regular difficulty in achieving orgasms. Causes can be medical, physical, psychological, and/or emotional. As Raymaker mentioned it isn't always as simple as learning your body.
Thank you .
09/02/2015
Contributor: OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
OW is one of those who do not cum easily. However it's fun trying. She still likes to play often though. Doesn't matter to her if she gets off or not. Prob more to me than her. Never the less, if she is happy then so am I.


I'll keep trying though.
09/04/2015
Contributor: symbiasin symbiasin
Way to go , OH&W! I think that would help, knowing someone who cares.
09/04/2015
Contributor: TheToyGuy TheToyGuy
Quote:
Originally posted by edenite
anorgasmia is the inability or regular difficulty in achieving orgasms. Causes can be medical, physical, psychological, and/or emotional. As Raymaker mentioned it isn't always as simple as learning your body.
It should be noted, from a medical standpoint, that if you develop persitent anorgasmia or have repeated episodes of such it is advisable to alert your doctor.

Sometimes it's a simple biological factor that can possibly be rectified but it can also be an indication of something much more serious. So at least advise your doctor or gynecologist of your concerns.
09/12/2015
Contributor: TheToyGuy TheToyGuy
I've noted the voting, Anorgasmia is not a death sentence for your sex life.

Go see your doctor.
10/30/2015
Contributor: OH&W, Lovebears OH&W, Lovebears
Quote:
Originally posted by symbiasin
Way to go , OH&W! I think that would help, knowing someone who cares.
actually, OH.
10/30/2015
Contributor: CasualFriday CasualFriday
Quote:
Originally posted by edenite
anorgasmia is the inability or regular difficulty in achieving orgasms. Causes can be medical, physical, psychological, and/or emotional. As Raymaker mentioned it isn't always as simple as learning your body.
Anorgasmia is also one of the primary side effects of SSRI's, which are the most used class of antidepressants. With the dramatic increase in use, Anorgasmia has actually become very common in the past 25 years.

On the flip side, I read a case study of a woman who was on Zoloft(common SSRI) who would have an orgasm everytime she yawned. She could even fake a yawn and it would give her an orgasm. Jeez... if they could only figure that trigger and bottle it.
12/28/2015
Contributor: TheToyGuy TheToyGuy
Quote:
Originally posted by CasualFriday
Anorgasmia is also one of the primary side effects of SSRI's, which are the most used class of antidepressants. With the dramatic increase in use, Anorgasmia has actually become very common in the past 25 years.

On the flip side, I read a ... more
Such prolific issues of orgasm can be worse than Anorgasmia. See "Persistent genital arousal disorder (PGAD".
03/24/2016
Contributor: Honeymuffin33 Honeymuffin33
I try not to let it get to me but sometimes I do have periods where it'll bring me down somewhat.
03/25/2016
Contributor: TheToyGuy TheToyGuy
Quote:
Originally posted by Honeymuffin33
I try not to let it get to me but sometimes I do have periods where it'll bring me down somewhat.
Discuss it openly, we may be able to talk you through your concerns and provide you with a new idea or course of action.
04/26/2016
Contributor: Gr8pumpkin Gr8pumpkin
Quote:
Originally posted by TheToyGuy
Discuss it openly, we may be able to talk you through your concerns and provide you with a new idea or course of action.
I was on antidepressants at a time and absolutely could not climax. It did not stop me from trying and I carried on anyway partly because it felt good an because I enjoyed the closeness of being with my lady friend. It is discouraging to not be able to orgasm, and if you think about it too much it can get in the way of wanting to be intimate. Just go with it, enjoy the wonderful sensations and eventually you may find a way to cum.
04/18/2017
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by Gr8pumpkin
I was on antidepressants at a time and absolutely could not climax. It did not stop me from trying and I carried on anyway partly because it felt good an because I enjoyed the closeness of being with my lady friend. It is discouraging to not be able ... more
No meds here - but struggle to orgasm. I turn my deficit into an advantage for my wife. I can give her countless orgasms due to my 'stamina'.

I have always enjoyed giving pleasure - and sometimes that the only I pleasure I'm going to have.

But as you describe - the intimacy in rewarding and yes once or twice a month I do manage an orgasm.
04/18/2017
Contributor: Daddy'sSexKitten Daddy'sSexKitten
Quote:
Originally posted by Raymaker
I'm just one of those weirdos who doesn't really ever get off, but it doesn't discourage me for the most part. I used to be insecure about it, but I still really enjoy myself these days after learning it's relatively common, and ... more
I decided to got other. I do sometimes have issues having an orgasm, more so if I'm very distracted or can't focus. And I have to REALLY focus. I enjoy sex with my partner immensely and I am fully attracted to him. I've remdied most of my issues by figuring out what makes it easier for me to climax. Such as, relaxing and closing my eyes and envisioning him going in and out of me, using a bullet vibrator on my clit, and really focusing on the feeling of his penis inside me. The clitoral stimulation is key because I don't orgasm from just penetration. And sometimes none of the above even works. But I have a very satisfying sex life, even without always climaxing. I can ALWAYS give myself an orgasm through solo play. That's the time I can really focus and don't get "stage fright" I guess you could say.
05/11/2017
Contributor: MrClark MrClark
Did not know the term "Anorgasmia" so learned something new today... I almost never reach the point of ejaculating during sex, and it's more often than not when me and my SO (current and past) had anal sex that I did. It can take me significant time to reach orgasm via solo play, and I think both me and my SO run out of steam before I reach the point of orgasm during sex... usually with anal sex there is pause for some prep or while I work my SO up to the point of penile penetration, especially with my current girlfriend. I think this delay offers up a point of recovery before we begin again... there are other features that heighten the anal experience that might bring me to orgasm quicker.

But regardless, I really enjoy sex even when it doesn't bring me to completion and the fact it takes so long to reach orgasm with solo play only makes me have to plan a bit better as it's not something I can do during a small break.
05/11/2017
Contributor: Lena Eden Lena Eden
I think that anorgasmia (when you don't experience orgasm for long periods of time) is a psychological issue, rather than physical. Your mood, your partner's behavior and lots of other things can affect your pleasure.

As a woman, I feel absolutely fine when I don't have the climax every single time (however, thanks to my boyfriend and some sex toys out there, I almost always have Os ). Enjoying the process is more important for me.
05/16/2017
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by Lena Eden
I think that anorgasmia (when you don't experience orgasm for long periods of time) is a psychological issue, rather than physical. Your mood, your partner's behavior and lots of other things can affect your pleasure.

As a woman, I ... more
Sorry - but in my case it's purely physical. At almost 63 things are rather different. Sensitivity is a fraction of what it once was, so it takes a lot of very focused stimulation for an orgasm - sometimes I can't even do it masturbating.

It's also clear that refractory periods (the time between one orgasm and the next) is much longer. In your 20s it's like, let me have a beer and I'm ready to go. By the 30s it's let me have a couple of beers...
By my 40s it was a few hours - by my 50s it was about a day. Now it takes 2-3 days.

Enjoy your youth - it may seem like it lasts forever - but it does not!
05/16/2017
Contributor: Gr8pumpkin Gr8pumpkin
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
Sorry - but in my case it's purely physical. At almost 63 things are rather different. Sensitivity is a fraction of what it once was, so it takes a lot of very focused stimulation for an orgasm - sometimes I can't even do it ... more
At an over 65 male I have been plagued with the inability to achieve orgasm in the recent past. Even when I was young it seemed to take a long time to climax, either by myself or with a partner.
Recently I have changed how I masturbate and it may have been the key to quicker orgasms. Instead of watching porn, or looking at erotic images, I have been just settling into a comfy chair and slowly stimulating myself, very gently, paying close attention to the sensations and trying to isolate the outside noises and distractions. I can't say it is a cure, but it does seem that I get off easier, quicker, and when my wife and I have intercourse or oral, I have been able to be more consistently orgasmic.

As an aside, I do believe I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child, which would translate to issues being focused, again, a direct connection to not being to orgasm due to losing concentration on the issue at hand, ( pun intended ) .

I do wonder if so many of us that experience orgasm difficulties are also ADHD sufferers.
05/17/2017
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by Gr8pumpkin
At an over 65 male I have been plagued with the inability to achieve orgasm in the recent past. Even when I was young it seemed to take a long time to climax, either by myself or with a partner.
Recently I have changed how I masturbate and it ... more
I have not been diagnosed with ADHD - but it's an interesting question.
05/17/2017
Contributor: 18andextreme 18andextreme
Eu estava em antidepressivos de cada vez e absolutamente não conseguia clímax. Não me impediu de tentar e eu continuei de qualquer maneira em parte porque sentia-se bem porque eu gostava da proximidade de estar com minha amiga. É desanimador não ser capaz de orgasmo, e se você pensa demais demais, pode ficar ininterrupto. Simplesmente vá com ele, aproveite as sensações maravilhosas e eventualmente você pode encontrar uma maneira de cum.
07/15/2017
Contributor: TheToyGuy TheToyGuy
Quote:
Originally posted by 18andextreme
Eu estava em antidepressivos de cada vez e absolutamente não conseguia clímax. Não me impediu de tentar e eu continuei de qualquer maneira em parte porque sentia-se bem porque eu gostava da proximidade de estar com minha amiga. É ... more
Antidepressants can be a bitch with this stuff.


A review of how things are going since the first post would be awesome.
08/19/2019
Contributor: RonLee RonLee
Quote:
Originally posted by TheToyGuy
Antidepressants can be a bitch with this stuff.


A review of how things are going since the first post would be awesome.
I too dealt with both the lack of libido and difficulty or inability to orgasm from SSRI meds, even more so when also on pain meds...
09/01/2019
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by Gr8pumpkin
At an over 65 male I have been plagued with the inability to achieve orgasm in the recent past. Even when I was young it seemed to take a long time to climax, either by myself or with a partner.
Recently I have changed how I masturbate and it ... more
Thanks for the advice. I don't know of any ADHD problems, I seem to have a loss of sensitivity - possibly due to blood flow issues.

I've never used vibrators (except on my wife), so the loss of sensitivity isn't related to 'the buzz'

Luckily my wife is very understanding. She's OK with me not having an orgasm. It's just fun to spend the intimate time together.
09/02/2019
Contributor: TheToyGuy TheToyGuy
Quote:
Originally posted by Gunsmoke
Thanks for the advice. I don't know of any ADHD problems, I seem to have a loss of sensitivity - possibly due to blood flow issues.

I've never used vibrators (except on my wife), so the loss of sensitivity isn't related to ... more
The closeness is the important thing.
09/05/2019
Contributor: VanillaFreeSex VanillaFreeSex
I have difficulty. I had lost interest in masturbating. It's why I started doing reviews again. I figured if I made it "homework" it would push me to work on my sex drive, lol. With my first review since I've been back to ef it has made an improvement. I think knowing I was going to write a detailed account on my blog turned me on. Also feeling "obligated" to cycle through all the modes on the Eros vibe gave me body time to respond. In not being so focused on trying to get off, it slowed me down and took the pressure off. I was actually able to cum!
09/15/2019
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by VanillaFreeSex
I have difficulty. I had lost interest in masturbating. It's why I started doing reviews again. I figured if I made it "homework" it would push me to work on my sex drive, lol. With my first review since I've been back to ef it has ... more
VanillaFree - Congrats on your discovery and orgasm - I also do better when I don't try too hard for an orgasm.
09/15/2019
Contributor: Bunnybun Bunnybun
Quote:
Originally posted by Raymaker
I'm just one of those weirdos who doesn't really ever get off, but it doesn't discourage me for the most part. I used to be insecure about it, but I still really enjoy myself these days after learning it's relatively common, and ... more
I've been anorgasmic all my life and have never had an orgasm, I'm going on 5-6 years of trying. But oh without a doubt it holds me back a lot. It's by far my biggest insecurity. Sometimes it makes me feel so absolutely inhuman I feel wrong even thinking about being aroused or god-forbid anyone being with me and only being a disappointment to them. It even holds me back from sexting because once we get to "that point" I can't even...say anything because I've never felt that sensation before to talk about it. That being said I know full-well this is a very common and normal experience a large amount of women face, about 40% in fact. I just always have to remind myself of my worth, humanity and have the determination to keep trying even when nothing seems to be working still
11/23/2021