I need help--Could it be a mental thing?

Contributor: LaLaLouise LaLaLouise
I have achieved orgasm many, many times before, but only from toys. I've never had one during sex. I've determined that the toys that are most effective are rabbits and other dual stimulators, preferably with rumbly vibrations instead of buzzy ones. This led me to believe that if I found a rumbly vibrator for external stimulation, I could use this during sex to achieve orgasm, but no luck so far. Even when I search for ones that are pretty similar to the clitoral attachment on rabbits.

I've found that when using a small vibrator for clitoral stimulation during sex that it does feel good, but before long that good feeling kind of fades away in a way that doesn't happen with a rabbit unless I've been going a LONG time and haven't orgasmed yet. So now, sitting here thinking about it, I can't help but wonder if it's some sort of mental block. There's no question that your brain can be your best friend or your worst enemy in the bedroom. Perhaps I have issues with control. Maybe my brain is afraid of putting my pleasure in someone else's hands, of being completely vulnerable. Does anyone have any insight? Any suggestions?
12/27/2011
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Contributor: SaMiKaY SaMiKaY
Quote:
Originally posted by LaLaLouise
I have achieved orgasm many, many times before, but only from toys. I've never had one during sex. I've determined that the toys that are most effective are rabbits and other dual stimulators, preferably with rumbly vibrations instead of ... more
I am the same way... Like, to the "T" of what you are saying. I always just figured I can't get off with penetration and when I try to play with my clit during sex, it takes my concentration off enjoying it so I never come. If you figure out how to fix it, lemme know!
12/27/2011
Contributor: LaLaLouise LaLaLouise
Lol if I ever figure it out I'll let you know! It just makes me sad that I can't add physical pleasure to the intense emotional happiness I get from making love to him. And even though he doesn't like to talk about it and wouldn't want to make me feel guilty, I'm sure he isn't crazy about the fact that I can't experience that pleasure from him, but only from a toy.
12/27/2011
Contributor: Eva Schwaltz Eva Schwaltz
Have you tried the We vibe III? I am one of the lucky ones so I haven't felt compelled to try that one yet.
12/27/2011
Contributor: LaLaLouise LaLaLouise
Another issue with any "during sex" type toys, he can't have vibration come into contact with his penis because it makes him go numb. So We Vibes, vibrating cock rings, etc are not an option.
12/27/2011
Contributor: LaLaLouise LaLaLouise
But I'm almost hesitant to think that it has something to do with not being in control because even though my bf has no interest in bondage type things, when I think about whether I WOULD want to try it and in what ways, I get more aroused imagining someone else being in control of me, rather than me being the dominant one. I have no interest in pain or being "punished" in any way, just the idea of being tied up and letting someone else do whatever they want sounds kind of appealing, ya know?
12/27/2011