Trouble Orgasming with partner

Contributor: kittycatgirl kittycatgirl
I'm sure there are plenty out there who have this problem. Does anyone have any advice on the topic? I have no problem having an orgasm on my own, and can sometimes have one during sex with manual stimulation, but its hard. It takes forever, and I can't stop thinking about how long its taking, if he's bored, how much this sucks....etc.. I know if I could get my mind off that and onto some sexy thoughts I would be able to orgasm much easier, but I just don't quite know how to get my mind in the right place instead of worrying about things. Advice?
04/09/2012
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Contributor: Ansley Ansley
A glass of wine to help you relax before bed might do the trick. It's hard not to put that kind of pressure on yourself and a glass of wine will knock the edge off so you can relax.
04/09/2012
Contributor: ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Not sure what you can do to put your mind at ease but that is the first thing you need to do. Communication with him on your fears, what feels good/what is working will help a bunch. Sometimes just getting it off your chest is all you need.
04/09/2012
Contributor: Bethy Cassatt Bethy Cassatt
Communication is key. Also, maybe the same-old just won't do it. Just breeze by cosmo and try one something new, it works.
04/10/2012
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
I rarely have orgasms during PIV, (penis in vagina sex) unless I've had one right before by oral sex or from a vibrator. Even then, the first few, from oral and vibrators, while My Man mans the toys are much stronger than any residual orgasms I have during intercourse.

The majority of women do NOT have orgasms during intercourse, which is why oral sex, toy play, manual play etc is so important. I refuse to call it "foreplay" because if we're touching each other, it's SEX!

As long as you enjoy the play and come by some method, does it matter how? I haven't had an orgasm without a vibrator in years, I didn't plan it, my hormones did. But, My Man takes it in stride and enjoys playing with toys with me to see how much fun we have.

He has told me that my orgasms are more important to him than his are. I appreciate that, and we work together, as mine take longer and usually take more work. Of course, he has days where he had difficulty coming, too. Then, I'm just as patient with him.

The two of you need to talk, work together, and use whatever methods work to help bring you to orgasm.

An orgasm during PIV isn't more important than an orgasm by any other means. Please take that to heart.
04/10/2012
Contributor: kittycatgirl kittycatgirl
Thanks for all the advice! Definitely a lot of things to consider!
04/10/2012