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Covering for a cheating best friend or friend? Would you?

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Contributor: Martiniman Martiniman
20 years ago I had a friendship severely damaged because my friend wanted me to cover for him while he cheated on his girlfriend with a girl he met in the bar and I refused.

Just curious...would you or have you covered for a cheating best friend or friend?

If yes...how do you feel about it?

If asked to, but you refused, how did it impact your relationship?

If asked to, but you refused, how did you handle the situation?
01/16/2013
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Contributor: GingerAnn GingerAnn
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01/16/2013
Contributor: K101 K101
Quote:
Originally posted by Martiniman
20 years ago I had a friendship severely damaged because my friend wanted me to cover for him while he cheated on his girlfriend with a girl he met in the bar and I refused.

Just curious...would you or have you covered for a cheating best ... more
Oh gosh!


Would I COVER for a friend? F no. Never. That is disgusting absolutely and totally disgusting and never would I cover for ANYBODY for cheating. It'd be so low and I personally do not want to be part of that kind of behavior. What I would tell my friend is to grow the hell up and break their relationship off before cheating and I'd be furious at them for ever putting me in such a position. I do not want any part of that. I don't want to be cheated on, and I will not be a part of someone else's hurt. Ever. Under any circumstances.

Big huge kudos to you for refusing to cover. That takes a really big person to say no to a friend.
01/16/2013
Contributor: FemmeFlo FemmeFlo
I would probably cover for the person, feel awful about it, and then end up confronting them about it and forcing them to own up to it. Or trying to have the spine to do that.
01/16/2013
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
A friend of mine confessed to me that she was trying to cheat on her long-time boyfriend (not that I really blamed her, as he is an asshole of the First Degree) and was having a hell of a time because everybody in her profession knows they are together. She's managed to do it, and had even hinted about me helping out, but I ignored the hint and changed the subject. I did tell her outright to just dump the fucktard, but she's not ready yet. *sigh* Anyway, I think she actually likes the potential drama that will unfold when the shit hits the fan.

In essence, no - I won't help cheaters out.
01/16/2013
Contributor: goodiegoody goodiegoody
I would never be able to cheat on a partner personally, but it doesn't seem like my business what my friends choose to do. I wouldn't want to have to lie for the friend, but I wouldn't out them either.
01/16/2013
Contributor: Coco85 Coco85
I would never cover for anyone who wanted to cheat. I had a co-workers husband ask me one day if his wife had been staying with me. Aparently they'd gotten into a fight and she was staying with her boyfriend and told him she was staying with me, not even knowing me that well. I put the kabosh to that lol
01/16/2013
Contributor: spiced spiced
I'm very glad this has never happened with a close friend.

I did have a BOSS who wanted to use my apartment to cheat on his wife (with a girl I also had a bit of a crush on). Even though I thought I'd be fired for it, I refused to let him use my apartment. I just told him straight that what he chose to do was his business, but I didn't want to be any part of it. To my great relief, he didn't fire me.
01/16/2013
Contributor: edeneve edeneve
never have been in that position.
01/16/2013
Contributor: Kissy Kissy
I have and I haven't. I've lost friends. I stayed out of it when I wasn't friends with the other person.
01/17/2013
Contributor: Pete's Princess Pete's Princess
(Review Program Mentor)
I would not cover for the friend. I will be there to listen and give advice if asked but that is it. I have enough drama in my own life without being in the middle of someone else's mess. If you lose this person as a friend because you won't go against your values, then they weren't much of a friend to begin with. I once had a friend that told her husband I had given her money to get new tires for her car when her male "friend" had been the one who bought them for her. She did not tell me she had done that until after the fact. I let her know that what she did was her business, but I did not want to be involved again.
01/17/2013
Contributor: Martiniman Martiniman
Quote:
Originally posted by K101
Oh gosh!


Would I COVER for a friend? F no. Never. That is disgusting absolutely and totally disgusting and never would I cover for ANYBODY for cheating. It'd be so low and I personally do not want to be part of that kind of ... more
Thanks Kendra, but its as simple as right is right and wrong is wrong. What was worse, the girl who was being cheated on was a very sweet and wonderful person.
01/17/2013
Contributor: shorejen9 shorejen9
Absolutely not! Luckily I haven't been in that position but I find cheating completely horrible and unnecessary. If you want to cheat then you don't belong with the person you are with so end it first. Don't be a coward and cheat.
01/17/2013
Contributor: Stagger13 Stagger13
Quote:
Originally posted by Martiniman
20 years ago I had a friendship severely damaged because my friend wanted me to cover for him while he cheated on his girlfriend with a girl he met in the bar and I refused.

Just curious...would you or have you covered for a cheating best ... more
I would not do that for anyone.
01/17/2013
Contributor: Jennifer87 Jennifer87
I would not do it for anyone because that would be major quilt for me and drama I wouldn't want to be involved with
01/17/2013
Contributor: FLIPxMODE FLIPxMODE
i always do
01/17/2013
Contributor: Geogeo Geogeo
Quote:
Originally posted by Martiniman
20 years ago I had a friendship severely damaged because my friend wanted me to cover for him while he cheated on his girlfriend with a girl he met in the bar and I refused.

Just curious...would you or have you covered for a cheating best ... more
Yes i would, if I liked my friend and didn't like her boyfriend or didn't know him
01/17/2013
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
It truly depends on the situation. It's not always the best way to handle things but some people need to be in a new relationship before leaving another.
01/17/2013
Contributor: tortilla tortilla
never been in the situation, and hopefully never am
01/17/2013
Contributor: Bleu Bleu
It really depends. Mostly I'm a "hell no" because there is almost no reason for cheating on someone. But if the relationship is super rocky already, I might.

I just don't think it's best for someone to try to secure another relationship before they end the first one. That's really eff'd up! You're going to end the relationship anyway, why not just end it sooner so you're not labeled a cheater? Plus, once someone gets into the habit of cheating, whether it's before a relationship is over or it's a bad situation, they wont stop so easily. They will be likely to repeat the process.

Plus they know you'll cover for them! I'd hate being known as that person.
01/17/2013
Contributor: LuckyLady LuckyLady
I've done that a million times and freaking hated it. It was a weird situation. She wasn't really "together" with her baby's daddy, but they were living together, and still are.... That just makes it awkward all the way around, and then to cover where she is when he calls at 4am in the morning was rough. But, he was abusive and controlling even though they aren't together and she deserves being happy. I was hoping she'd find a guy she could trust.
01/17/2013
Contributor: noway noway
I won't volunteer information, but if someone asks me directly, I'm not lying. Lying by omission is as far as I'll go...I am not letting other people's BS go on MY conscience.
01/19/2013
Contributor: GONE! GONE!
I wouldn't say anything, but I wouldn't approve of it.
01/19/2013