Oh wow, kendra...the "mama!" in a baby voice thing is...super awkward. And while he's playing with your breasts?! I think that would turn my vagina dryer than the Sahara Desert if that were me...
I do get that bedroom banter is a hit and miss thing, and it takes balls to try new things out in the bedroom to see how your partner responds. If you say something odd or silly, usually it can be laughed off, as long as the two of you have a good sense of humor about it. But there are some people who say things with such absurd confidence, and who consistently say the wrong thing (hence the "sloppy pussy, I'd like your big pregnant boobs" guy I mentioned before). In my experience, it usually comes from a partner that doesn't know how to read you...at all. At least the guy who wanted to be called "daddy" told me, rather shyly, that it was a big turn on for him. He wasn't just like, "Who's your daddy!" all of a sudden. That would have been a bit...much.
When I was first getting into talking dirty with my current guy, he called me a whore, and I wasn't sure how I felt about it--he knew that I LOVED being called a slut, dirty girl, bad girl, etc, so "whore" was the next logical thing. I eventually decided I didn't like it and I told him so, so he never used it again...until it started showing up in my fantasies, and I told him one day, "I'm your very own, personal whore, you know that?" and he smiled and said, "Yes, you are, my dear." Now, I like it! But I'm on the raunchier end of the spectrum when it comes to talking dirty, so...
My first relationship was a long term one, and our sex lives were awful. We were incompatible, both each other's firsts, and inexperienced. We didn't talk much in the bedroom. I do remember once saying in my sexiest bedroom voice with a grin, while I was on top of him, "Do you like playing with me? Do you like your little toy?" He got really upset and told me that he didn't think of me as just a toy, that he thought of me as a person and had nothing but respect for me, so how could I say THAT...and I felt guilty about wanting to be referred to in that way in the bedroom...but of course, neither one of us were experienced enough, nor were we good at communicating, so it just sort of fizzled out. I wanted to tell him it was just fantasy, that I knew that he respected me, and I wouldn't be with him if he didn't...but that doesn't mean we can't role play a bit...and maybe I want to be treated like his "sex toy," once in a while...but communication between the two of us had too many issues for that discussion to ever take place.
Baby talk. That's a big no-no in my book...not into the whole "adult infant" thing, even in the mildest of terms. At all.
ALSO! Stupid, childish jokes about the body. "Sloppy pussy" guy also got way too comfortable around me too quickly, and he'd fart right after sex and make jokes about it (so much for the afterglow), and when he'd reveal his erection just before he was about to put it in me, one time, he made a fake trumpet sound, like, "doot-do-do-dooo!" like when you raise the flag on a pole in the military. I literally pushed him away from me and got up--that was the last straw. He got offended and told me that sex isn't like in the movies where it's all perfect and serious! It's supposed to be fun! I said, yeah, it is supposed to be fun, and you aren't fun at all! You're annoying, and act like a twelve year old in the bed. Here's a clue--fart jokes and erection jokes don't exactly put me in the mood, nor would they put any woman in the mood.
Yeah, we broke up after that. Only a four month relationship, so at least I didn't waste too much time on him.
*exhales slowly...* Wow, this thread has been unexpectedly cathartic for me! Look at all this venting about one guy!
It's okay guys, I'm better now.
