The New Intimacy

Fantasies- Do you have them?

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Contributor: Darling Dove Darling Dove
Fantasies. I've never understood them. Since about 14, I've never fantasized about much of anything, I just grew out of it. Now, at 19, I wish I had more fantasies to add some spice to my personal time. Sure, I think of my significant other when I do stuff sometimes, but not in detail- no mental images of sexy evenings, or him feeling me up. I don't really get aroused by thinking of all the traditional fantasies, like a sexy teacher, or sneaking around the hallways, cops and robbers, tying someone up or being tied up, etc etc nothing really excites me. I've always chalked it up to me being vanilla, but I was wondering, is there anyone else like me who rarely or never fantasizes about anything? I can't even become aroused thinking of other people besides my SO, which is mostly why porn typically doesn't do it for me. I appreciate the sexiness but it doesn't mentally turn me on. On the other side of the token sometimes porn physically arouses me but has no mental affect whatsoever. The second I actually get around my partner though, I'm on fire thinking of all the things we could do. Just never anything out of the ordinary.

So.. have at it. Oh, and while you're here.. I'd love some suggestions. (Oh, and yes, I did mess up voting on my own poll. Derp derp. )
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I have many fantasies.
34
I have a moderate amount of fantasies.
19
I have very few fantasies.
9
I have no fantasies.
5
I fantasize every time I masturbate.
22
I sometimes fantasize when I masturbate.
17
I rarely fantasize when I masturbate.
8
I never fantasize when I masturbate.
5
I wish I had more fantasies in general.
17
I wish I had less fantasies in general.
I'm indifferent about the amount of fantasies I have.
10
Total votes: 146 (70 voters)
Poll is closed
03/28/2010
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Contributor: Sir Sir
I do not fantasize. Anything that I think of is not really a fantasy for me, it's either been a reality in the past or something that I'll do soon in the future (which I do not consider fantasizing, per se). Now, when I've masturbated (since it's rare that I do that anyway), I have thought of making love to my recent partner. That's fairly vanilla, though, so I don't consider it fantasizing, I consider it more of "imagining," I suppose. I do not think in detail much either, though, even when I do think of making love. It's more of me just thinking of her.

Not fantasizing is not a bad thing, in my opinion. There's nothing wrong with it. If you are able to play out some things that you do fantasize about with your partner, then it might be fun, and you might fantasize about more diverse sexual activities. Also, there's nothing wrong with being "ordinary." If it pleasures you, who cares what it is?
03/28/2010
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
I've had nothing BUT fantasies during my celibate ten year marriage. Now I get to act them out with my boyfriend. I haven't had any new ones recently because I've been wrapped up in just experiencing sex, but it doesn't bother me. I tend to write them out, too, to get a better feel for them and analyze what I like. It's helped in figuring out what I want to try with Mulder and what does/doesn't work for us.

So, I guess I'm from the opposite side.
03/28/2010
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I can't imagine not fantasizing while masturbating -- isn't that the point?

I travel a lot and write a fantasy story for my wife almost every time - some I give to her, some I just file away. CrystalGirl has been publishing some of them on her blog - here's a link to one link.

If you like them - or not, I'm interested in feedback.
03/28/2010
Contributor: Sammi Sammi
I fantasize a lot. Some involving my partner and some not, but it's pretty regular for me. We typically discuss our fantasies, although there's not a lot of them we'd ever really do in real life.
03/28/2010
Contributor: chelseahotel1224 chelseahotel1224
I fantasize a good bit, I think. A few years ago, they barely crossed my mind, but now things are different. I do it when I masturbate or even when I'm daydreaming in class. Usually, like some mentioned, I'll write them out in an email or something for my boyfriend. It helps, as we only see each other once a week or so.
03/28/2010
Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
I have fantasies of things I would like to try with my man but I do not fantaqsize per say.

Often times I masturbate and do not think of anything in particular. I just focus on the feelings I am feeling. Sometimes I do think of sex scenes from movies that really arouse me.

I do fantasize sometimes at work or at random moments during the day but it happens very rarely. Those fantasies usually are of things I have done with my lover in the past.
03/31/2010
Contributor: cottoncandy cottoncandy
I am constantly fantasizing and daydreaming no matter where I am or what I'm doing. Sometimes the unwanted moisture in my panties makes me hate that I do this, but most of the time it doesn't bother me. Fantasies are kind of like my drug.
04/01/2010
Contributor: Darling Dove Darling Dove
Quote:
Originally posted by cottoncandy
I am constantly fantasizing and daydreaming no matter where I am or what I'm doing. Sometimes the unwanted moisture in my panties makes me hate that I do this, but most of the time it doesn't bother me. Fantasies are kind of like my drug.
Oh, I DAYDREAM all the time.. all day, every day


But sexually I dont fantasize at all.
04/01/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
I fantasize all the time and share my fantasies with my guys...and they do the same.

Either end of the spectrum is perfectly natural...some people are more physically wired, some more mentally wired. Whatever works is the best answer.
04/02/2010
Contributor: GNGenie GNGenie
I fantasize a lot. Visual and written porn are great starters (try literotica.com)
04/12/2010
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
I fantasize a lot of the time, ALWAYS during sex or masturbation, often during daily activities. I have an active Sex Mind and my mind just automatically goes to "Hmmm, this would be nice." even if I am standing in line at the grocery.

I have to fantasize to have an orgasm. It never occurred to me that people don't. It takes all kinds of people.
07/21/2010
Contributor: LiftedUp LiftedUp
Throughout my regular, daily activities, I do fantasize about particular scenarios that I would like to play out with my wife. We do share these thoughts with each other so that we can make them reality.

As far as masturbation or sex though, I never seem to fantasize then. When masturbating, my mind naturally gravitates towards the sensations and feelings that are building in my body. During sex, it's a combination of those same sensations, and the intimacy with my wife that fill my mind.

It's quite interesting though to see how differently everyone's brains are "wired"
07/21/2010
Contributor: Maiden Maiden
Quote:
Originally posted by cottoncandy
I am constantly fantasizing and daydreaming no matter where I am or what I'm doing. Sometimes the unwanted moisture in my panties makes me hate that I do this, but most of the time it doesn't bother me. Fantasies are kind of like my drug.
I'm kinda the same. I fantasize and daydream all day long, mostly about my partner, but sometimes about scenes from movies, women, and another man here and there. Usually though, if I am fantasizing about another person, it is no one in particular, just random images of body parts, some titties here, and extra cock there, or having a woman or another man in the bed with us in general. I have never really fantasized about celebrities or anything like that, though I have had dreams about them on occasion.
07/21/2010
Contributor: Alicia Alicia
I fantasize a lot, I kind of seem to get stuck on one or two for a while, then when they no longer do it for me I move onto something new. Lately a lot of my fantasies I've gotten from reading erotica, really gets the mind going.
07/21/2010
Contributor: pinkzombie pinkzombie
Quote:
Originally posted by Darling Dove
Fantasies. I've never understood them. Since about 14, I've never fantasized about much of anything, I just grew out of it. Now, at 19, I wish I had more fantasies to add some spice to my personal time. Sure, I think of my significant other ... more
I have all kinds of fantasies...Dr./nurse, kinky threesomes, ect
11/22/2010
Contributor: SexyStuff SexyStuff
I'm right with you, I rarely fantasize but wish I did if just for some new ideas.
02/22/2011
Contributor: sbon sbon
I fantasize a moderate amount. I don't have tons of them, but I have a few favorites. Sometimes I fantasize during masturbation, other times I don't. I've never really worried about the amount of fantasizing I do. As long as you're comfortable and getting off, I don't think there's a reason to be concerned over whether or not you fantasize. Just have fun!
02/22/2011
Contributor: M121212 M121212
Yea.. definitely keep checking out different kinds of porn and erotic stories (or erotic moments in mainstream film and novels) until you find something that turns you on. Think of it like a treasure hunt!
02/23/2011
Contributor: Kaltir Kaltir
I'm pretty much the same way. Even if I watch porn, the only "fantasy" I have is about my husband doing to me whatever they're doing on screen. Which is usually something we'd do anyhow. During the day I often randomly think about things that are sexual, but they always involve my husband, and things we have already done. I wouldn't have it any other way though
02/23/2011
Contributor: ninaspinkturtle ninaspinkturtle
Quote:
Originally posted by Darling Dove
Fantasies. I've never understood them. Since about 14, I've never fantasized about much of anything, I just grew out of it. Now, at 19, I wish I had more fantasies to add some spice to my personal time. Sure, I think of my significant other ... more
i have a few
02/23/2011
Contributor: averageguyextrodinarypleasure averageguyextrodinarypleasure
I put moderate because there are some days where it doesn't really cross my mind and than some where there are quite a few
09/30/2011