You're not being selfish by wanting to participate in the act and wanting it to last longer and do more than just fucking. From over here, it sounds more like you're being treated like a blow-up doll than a person.

BTW - some guys don't know what "make love to me" means. They think it means penis in vagina and that's it. Yeah, I know, but their brains are different than ours.

The problem sounds like he probably doesn't know how to perform any foreplay, as most guys spent a good chuck of their first-time experiences(usually in high school) trying not to get caught, and some just can't get out of the habit. That whole 'build up for her' thing is a complete mystery to them.

(Another possibility is that he has premature ejaculation and is trying to cover it up by having quickies.)

Refuse to turn over until YOU'RE ready. Take his hands and guide him through the motions of what you want. Don't run on his timing, set your own, then meet in the middle. He just may be totally clueless about sex being more than banging away into a girl.

Better yet, tie him up so he can't control the encounter.

The main thing to do is to get his complete attention on the subject (not while doing it or being on PMS, but talking earlier in the day or something when you're both calm) and be clear and straightforward. Don't ever assume that he knows what you're talking about, because men and women have totally different definitions of the same words.

Unfortunately, not every guy has had the sex talk with their partner.

For a lot of guys, trying to understand how a woman's body works is like trying to install a car stereo using the Haynes guide, but in a different language and upside down.

Sure, we know the very basics. We know we could slam it in the open hole and play with the wires a bit, but anything passed that is just lost on us.

The best thing to do, in my opinion, would be to just talk with him and teach him how your body works. Heck, he might enjoy you showing him how it works

It all comes down to communication and a willingness to learn.

Good luck!

Thanks for the good advice and replies I will have a talk with him, I just dont want to sound like a winey woman..lol. I also don't want to hurt his ego or feelings. I tried to have that talk before and his first question was "why, dont i satisfy you?" Us being in our 30's I know it isn't age, I hope it is just lack of communication.

First of all, it's not selfish to want to have your fair share in the play! So no need to apologize. I understand it can be tough communicating with a partner... you don't want to hurt their feelings by making more than subtle suggestions. I was once in a similar circumstance where my needs weren't getting completely met.. I felt worried that I would be implying that my partner at the time was inadequate or that I wasn't enjoying what he seemed to be enjoying so much. Those things being said, I have a few suggestions:

Like Chilipepper said, you can make it part of the sex act by taking a little more control and setting the pace. I agree that a good idea might be to guide his hands where and how you want to be touched... put your fingers over his so that you can press his fingers onto or into you exactly the way you would do to yourself. Make some indication that you are really what enjoying he's doing... whatever's natural for you (for me, I like moaning). Positive reinforcement goes a LONG, LONG way in my experience. If/when he tries to flip you over, you could try to kiss him on the mouth to both slow things back down and remain face-to-face.

You could also initiate the session by laying on your back and touch yourself, showing him what you like... let him watch for a bit before letting him join in. You could set the pace this way too.

Whatever you choose to do, it should be comfortable and natural, and should make him feel like he's doing a good job. Again, always keep in mind positive reinforcement with your changes/constructive criticism...you want him to want to do it again!

Good luck!

Thanks for the helpful replied.. I talked to him and it was a communication error. He was in a vert long relationshio with someone who would never give it up.. So he doesnt try much.. I told him I'm a true slut and need multiple orgasms and I love when he fucks me but that I need more first and the conversation went well.

Wow, that's great! I was going to chime in with some suggestions and opinions myself. Communication, once again (as always) saves the day! Good for you for sitting down and talking to him about it. I'm amazed by what a simple fix it can be time after time. Great job to both of you, when you can start off a relationship by communicating like that, you can have a really nice future ahead of you!