The New Intimacy

Noise Complaints from sex?! Your take on it?

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Contributor: JustYourAverageGuy JustYourAverageGuy
My girlfriend and I live in an upper-middle class apartment community. We recently had some new neighbors move in beneath us. Ever since we have been getting noise complaints from the office with a lot of generic language. So we went in to talk to them because we really aren't loud people. For the year + we have lived here, we have NEVER gotten any sort of complaint from a neighbor.... well until now. According to the office, the complaints usually are from "hearing loud sex at late hours"...

OK.... Well yes we do have sex, but it usually isn't LATE, more like 10-11ish. But we have a hard time believing that our neighbors beneath us can hear us THROUGH CEMENT! Cmon.. rediculous.....its just sex, yes people do have it, I am sorry if you are not comfortable with your sexuality and find it disturbing when you hear someone enjoying and celebrating theirs...

SO, my question for the community is, have you had similar experiences with rediculous neighbors?
04/28/2010
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Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
Despite living in a similar apartment complex set up (cement and cinderblock), the windows were NOT soundproof and we could hear our upstairs neighbors quite easily when they got busy. Never bothered me. What bothered me was the creep next door who blared his 'Law and Order' episodes while we (ex-husband and me) were trying to sleep. So, I think cinderblock is not soundproof.
04/28/2010
Contributor: JustYourAverageGuy JustYourAverageGuy
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
Despite living in a similar apartment complex set up (cement and cinderblock), the windows were NOT soundproof and we could hear our upstairs neighbors quite easily when they got busy. Never bothered me. What bothered me was the creep next door who ... more
Yeah I can agree on that. Just odd that someone is SOO offended by adults gettin it on. :-/
04/28/2010
Contributor: Elodie Elodie
I once had to field a neighbor's noise complaint about my mom and her husband having sex. That was fun! I don't think that neighbor was particularly out of line, because my mom's husband (then boyfriend) was LOUD. REALLY LOUD. I normally have no problem with loud, I'm definitely not quiet myself, but he seriously sounded like he was being flayed alive. Plus they tended to do it in the shower, so it echoed. It was bad.

Never had any noise complaints myself, though, or offered any. I don't mind hearing neighbors having sex, no matter the time of day or night. What I do dislike is when people turn up the music loud so that others can't hear them. I'd far rather hear moans and such than bass that rattles my floor, gives me a headache, and makes it impossible for me to think or sleep.
04/28/2010
Contributor: JustYourAverageGuy JustYourAverageGuy
Quote:
Originally posted by Elodie
I once had to field a neighbor's noise complaint about my mom and her husband having sex. That was fun! I don't think that neighbor was particularly out of line, because my mom's husband (then boyfriend) was LOUD. REALLY LOUD. I normally ... more
Funny you say that because that is the predicament we are in. We apparently are loud from sex, yet we have to hear their loud music nightly and feel it rattle our floor for HOURS....

I agree with you music is much more annoying.
04/28/2010
Contributor: Victoria Victoria
We have one neighbor who complains about everything that everyone does - but aside from him, not really. We have wild animals next door who are loud all the time - running, screaming, banging every day. And the other side (right below my home office window) is our awful neighbor's dog.

We have live music at our house sometimes, and we do have the police show up sometimes - probably due to self-titled 'Block Captain Steve', the complainy douchebag. We know the laws though, and if it's before the noise ordinance hours, we're fine.
04/28/2010
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
I don't really care if I hear people having sex faintly, but if it's loud and disruptive then we have a problem. I haven't had that issue with neighbors but I would totally understand if someone complained about me. I think my sex life is awesome and hot and interesting, but I don't expect upstairs neighbors to. I don't know if it has to do with being conservative or stuffy as much as it does just people not wanting to have their space invaded by other people's lives. Home is sacred! It's the same as not wanting to hear someone's loud fights or loud parties.

With that said, sharing a close quarters (apartment complex) means you have to kind of suck it up with some things. If you hear some moaning through the walls my opinion is kind of, well, DEAL WITH IT. But ya know, it's all a matter of degree and everyone's opinion of what degree is acceptable will be different.
04/28/2010
Contributor: J's Alley J's Alley
I don't mind hearing sex...it comes with living in an apartment. Now, if it wakes my kids, we have an issue. I would certainly have come to you before filing a complaint about something like that though.

J and I are moving from our house in TN to an apartment in CA...we totally chose the first floor for that reason.
04/28/2010
Contributor: sqweak sqweak
I lived in a dorm for a while I tend to be enthusiastic and loud during sex and that didn't make my floor mates very happy, but sense then I haven’t gotten any complaints even if my neighbors were to complain I would laugh it off sense they sound like they’re having a UFC death match 3-4 times a week.
04/28/2010
Contributor: Sammi Sammi
We don't have neighbors that close now, but we try to be careful to shut the windows in the summer - I can just imagine the police call
04/28/2010
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
In the last row house we lived in we mistakenly left the windows open one night and the college age kids thought it was great fun to sit outside the next day and discuss in loud voices what they felt about "old married" people having sex. I was about 6 months pregnant at the time so I went over, introduced myself and appologized for disturbing them the night before. Then I explained that I wasn't fat, I was pregnant and I wasn't old either. I further explained that people don't turn off sexually when they reach a certain age and asked them if they wanted to be told in 10-15 years that they were too old for sex. In short I embarassed the hell out of the snot-nosed little bitch who thought she was all that...never saw her again. I did get respect from the guys though. They appologized to my husband and told him he was a lucky man...to which he replied so's her boyfriend!

I've always had a problem with volume control but we haven;t had any formal complaints from anyone in years, and that was from a couple who admitted they were only complaining because they were jealous.
04/28/2010
Contributor: Liz2 Liz2
We try to be respectful of neighbors but sometimes we get carried away. I find loud music or the loud TV, a neighbor uses as a cover for sex noise to be more annoying.
I think that people who complain about a neighbors sex noise are probably just jelous or deprived..
04/29/2010
Contributor: LicentiouslyYours LicentiouslyYours
I actually do enjoy hearing other people have sex. The one exception to this is when I am trying to sleep and they are keeping me up or waking me up. I had this problem my last year in college with my upstairs neighbor. His girlfriend was obnoxiously loud and they always had sex after midnight..which is just great when you've got a 7am class.

The truth is, it doesn't really matter what type of noise is bothering your neighbors so much as there is obviously a noise they hear and find loud enough to complain about. It doesn't mean they are not comfortable with their sexuality they don't care for loud noise.

If they are making noise you find offensive, maybe it's time to have an adult chat with your neighbors and find a way to make everybody's living situation a bit more tolerable.

I've found, after years of apartment living, the best way to get along with the people you have to live in close proximity to is to give them the benefit of the doubt, treat their concerns with the respect they deserve and make an effort to compromise in some way.
04/29/2010
Contributor: Gary Gary
Ok, for the next week or two, be way noisier than usual. Crank porn, break glass, and beat on the floor with rubber mallets. Make so much noise that what were doing before pales in comparison... then stop and just go back to normal.
04/29/2010
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Gary
Ok, for the next week or two, be way noisier than usual. Crank porn, break glass, and beat on the floor with rubber mallets. Make so much noise that what were doing before pales in comparison... then stop and just go back to normal.
Lmao, that's hilarious
04/29/2010
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
I live at my mom's house with my fiance, mom, brother, and sister, and as of right now, my fiance and I have the proud distinction of managing to somehow be the only ones in the house who haven't been caught or heard having sex with people home. My brother's been walked in on by my sister, my sister's been overheard by my brother, and I would have seen my mom and her bf if they hadn't had his door shut. For now the only reason anybody can tell we're going at it is if the weather channel is up kinda loud. We just suck it up and be as quiet as we can, but we really miss being loud.
04/29/2010
Contributor: CreamySweet CreamySweet
Quote:
Originally posted by JustYourAverageGuy
My girlfriend and I live in an upper-middle class apartment community. We recently had some new neighbors move in beneath us. Ever since we have been getting noise complaints from the office with a lot of generic language. So we went in to talk to ... more
I am sorry that twits need to make your life difficult. I am not a good one to give advice on this as most "normals" would describe my family as a bunch of "violent mother fuckers" to quote Bad Boys 2. Possibly because I have been known to rip people out of the wing window of their car in my professional capacity. I would generaly subscribe to the ignore them first, tell them to fuck off second and demonstrate what noise really is on the third. People always expect others to coddle them and kiss their ass or give in to their fragile sensative nature and needs - sorry I am the wrong chick for that. They have probably gotten away with crying and sniveling before so thats the normal MO they roll with. Tell them to fuck off. And if the rental folks give you shit let them know they will have a vacant appartment soon - either theirs or yours.
01/05/2012
Contributor: Jake'n'bake Jake'n'bake
I'd mention to them that their music is just as disruptive if not moreso, and if they'd like to keep listening to it without having to deal with complaints of their own, they drop the complaints against you.

I'd also do a 'test' of sorts on them; have quiet sex for about a week and see if they're still complaining. If they are, it's bullshit. If you can get approximate times from them, too, and it doesn't work in with when you do it, it's also bullshit.
01/05/2012