Not having sex for weeks with partner, is that normal or does it mean something is wrong?

Not having sex for weeks with partner, is that normal or does it mean something is wrong?

jazz4me jazz4me
Is not having regular sex normal among couples or does it mean there is a problem brewing.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
normal
17
relationship is in peril
26
Total votes: 43 (42 voters)
Poll is closed
02/20/2011
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Lucidity Lucidity
Maybe a little more background would help give us some insight.
02/20/2011
Vaccinium Vaccinium
Quote:
Originally posted by Lucidity
Maybe a little more background would help give us some insight.
Yeah. More background would be helpful. Every relationship is different, so it's hard to generalize with what you wrote.
02/20/2011
fghjkl fghjkl
I didn't vote because it's not a black and white answer. Some more backround information would be better, but my advice would be to talk with your partner and figure out what's going on. Talking is always the best option.
02/20/2011
married with children married with children
I would have to say something is wrong. It may not be a problem with your relationship. But something is bothering your partner.
02/20/2011
sbon sbon
I won't vote on this either because it depends upon the situation. Do you normally have sex frequently and now it's stopped or have you always had long periods lapse between sex? Are there stressors (job trouble, medical conditions) outside of the relationship that might be causing decreased libido? There is no simple answer when it comes to sex other than communicating honestly with your partner to work out whatever problems you might be having.
02/20/2011
Taylor Von Taylor Von
I would talk to your partner. Be kind and caring. If there is something wrong they will most likely be more open if they feel like it is ok, even if it could be a weird thing they are just embarrassed to speak about.
02/20/2011
ScottA ScottA
Say more, it depends a lot on the relationship. Perhaps one partner is feeling guilty about something?
02/20/2011
BeautiFullFigured BeautiFullFigured
More details needed. Aside from the lack of sex, has anything else been out of the normal? Is it just lack of sex, or lack of intimacy as well? Has it happened before? Has he/she given a reason, or avoided giving a reason as to why this is?
02/21/2011
That Guy That Guy
I think that depends entirely on how both parties feel about it. If both partners are cool about it, then you're fine. It sounds like you're not, so it's time to talk about it.
02/21/2011
Shellz31 Shellz31
If that happened in a relationship I was in, I'd be somewhat concerned and extremely frustrated.
But it depends on the couple and relationship they have. Does it regularly happen ... is everything else feel normal?
02/21/2011
SexyTabby SexyTabby
I put it's normal - without knowing your particular situation I don't really see how anyone can answer - but I have three kids and if they decide to take turns getting sick and need care then I can't say I worry about sex with the Hubby. Sometimes that can last awhile especially if I end up sick as well. Nothing like coughing up a lung for a solid week just after taking care of three kids doing the same the week or two before that. There's also stressful things like a death in the family. That really sends emotions on a roller coaster and they may take awhile to return to normal. Depression, fights, anything can alter the pattern of a couples sex lives so you need to figure out whats going on in your relationship and go from there. Helps to remember a solid relationship is more then the sex they have as well.
02/21/2011
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I voted normal as well because my wife went through a time when sex was just not all that interesting to her. I persisted and although I haven't changed, she has and thankfully she relishes our time together now and has learned to make it a vital part of our relationship.
02/21/2011
Mr.RightNow Mr.RightNow
more info? maybe a health condition?
02/21/2011
Jobthingy Jobthingy
That is a tough call that needs more background. The man and I go through weeks without having sex and it is just because there is no time. We don't live together, he has stuff to do with his kids, if he is here there is a good chance my daughter is awake and running about.
02/21/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
More background would be good. I agree.

Although in our relationship, a lack of sex or less sex than usual means something is wrong. We usually have more sex when stressed, deaths, sick kids (as soon as they fall asleep, when the crisis has passed) stress at work, family issues, all of these cause us to fall into each others arms more often to let off the steam and de-stress ourselves.

Less sex, at least for My Man and I usually means we need to talk, as something is wrong. We aren't ones to believe issues will "work themselves out" and usually tackle them as soon as they are presenting.

Also, what the definition of "regular sex" differs among different couples. For some, a few times a month is "normal" for others, if sex doesn't happen virtually every day, there is an issue.
02/21/2011
liilii080 liilii080
It can be normal but it depends on the relationship and like everyone else has said, without more information all we can do is guess. Have you talked to your partner about it? That's always a good place to start. I hope things work out for you, whatever is going on.
02/21/2011
PiratePrincess PiratePrincess
It can be normal, but it depends on the situation. I've gone for weeks without having sex with my partner due to stress and other factors and then it picks up later.
02/21/2011
Istanbull Istanbull
Quote:
Originally posted by jazz4me
Is not having regular sex normal among couples or does it mean there is a problem brewing.
I only have sex with my wife once a month, we only had sex 3 times last year. But in the last month or so she has been having sex with me more(3 times, yesss ). I believed I was satisfying her enough with a 3 orgasm minimum but lately I upped it to a 5-6 orgasm minimum. Now I've noticed she's warming up a little.
02/23/2011
Lady Venus Lady Venus
Quote:
Originally posted by PiratePrincess
It can be normal, but it depends on the situation. I've gone for weeks without having sex with my partner due to stress and other factors and then it picks up later.
Same here. Sometimes life just gets in the way.
02/23/2011
Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
Without more info it is hard to say. In our marriage, no sex in a couple of days would indicate a potential problem and require some talking. We are "active" daily, so anything disrupting our routine would be highly noticeable. Usually, we try to resolve issues as they arise to avoid a drought.
02/23/2011
jazz4me jazz4me
Quote:
Originally posted by Lucidity
Maybe a little more background would help give us some insight.
I am just never in the mood, never. And when we do have to do it it's almost like a chore and no fun. I used to love doing it with him so I can not figure out what the problem is. SO right now this is a part of our relationship that really needs a lot of work or I am afraid that it will really end up tearing us apart.
03/13/2011
jazz4me jazz4me
Quote:
Originally posted by Lady Venus
Same here. Sometimes life just gets in the way.
I hope this is what we are going through. There are just so many stresses right now that its hard to ever feel romantic and when the romantic part comes sometimes I even feel guilty. IDK it's just hard.
03/13/2011
muffles muffles
Quote:
Originally posted by jazz4me
I am just never in the mood, never. And when we do have to do it it's almost like a chore and no fun. I used to love doing it with him so I can not figure out what the problem is. SO right now this is a part of our relationship that really needs ...
Well, you need to talk to him and find out if/how much it is bothering him - depends on his sex drive, which can be influenced by stress and can decline with age. I know mine is definitely higher than my GF, often she's too tired , although a few times she wasn't really in the mood per se but DID like it when we got going. I think talking to him would be best, but I can understand sometimes bringing it up/timing can be tricky (at least it is for me), best of luck!
03/14/2011
Miss Madeline Miss Madeline
In my relationship not having sex as often as we did three years--or even a year ago--is normal. But going without for weeks would signify to me that something was amiss.
03/14/2011
Woman China Woman China
Quote:
Originally posted by Jobthingy
That is a tough call that needs more background. The man and I go through weeks without having sex and it is just because there is no time. We don't live together, he has stuff to do with his kids, if he is here there is a good chance my daughter ...
Exactly. Sometimes, there is just no time.

And when there is? You might jsut be exhausted and enjoy the time you have together. But more information is needed.
04/02/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by jazz4me
I am just never in the mood, never. And when we do have to do it it's almost like a chore and no fun. I used to love doing it with him so I can not figure out what the problem is. SO right now this is a part of our relationship that really needs ...
You may want to look at the relationship. A lot of women lose their drive when they are angry at their partners. Other times, there are depression or anxiety or hormonal issues.

I'd see your OBGYN if it continues.


Maybe My Man and I are different, but if we are not having sex every 12 to 36 hours, something is wrong.

A number of years ago, after having an other baby and "not having the time" I felt my drive wasn't as strong as it should be. Even with a young, premature baby, we would still MAKE the time. Even if that meant fucking in the middle of the night, after a feeding. Even when I was having a rough time, we STILL "made time" for it, albeit, not as much as we should have back then. We were still having sex 2-4 times a week, but I wasn't always into it. Although, usually once we started, I'd get into it. I had looked for reasons not to do it, go to bed later than him, stay in the bathroom too long, until he feel asleep, take WAY too long to treat yeast infections. It was not healthy behavior on my part, and it was destroying our relationship. From My Man's side, he wasn't being very sensitive and we both had to talk about it and work on it.

Now, we're enjoying sex again like teenagers and we've never had as good a sex life as we have now.

But, I had to make the first step to figure out WHY I wasn't feeling like it, what I could do to change, and I started enjoying sex even before we started every time. I feel if you WANT it badly enough, and want to fix the problem there is no such thing as "we don't have time." You have to MAKE the time for things that you love and that feed your relationship.


Reading erotica helped, as did watching some porn with My Man, talking about sex, and what we wanted from it. Also, forgiving past transgressions helped us get on the other side of them. So we could enjoy making love like never before (even though it was always good.)

Good luck.
04/02/2011
Howells Howells
Is it normal when we see each other weekly? To those who see each other daily and have sex daily, a few days are like a few weeks to us. Can be noticed but doesn't necessarily mean there is a problem. Or does it?
05/02/2011
Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
You may want to look at the relationship. A lot of women lose their drive when they are angry at their partners. Other times, there are depression or anxiety or hormonal issues.



I'd see your OBGYN if it continues. ...
Very sound advice P'Gell. The act of taking charge - deciding that sex and intimacy are vital to your relationship. Sex and intimacy are like food and water to your relationship - without it, the relationship dies.

1. Decide it's important
2. Figure out what's getting in the way
3. Develop 'work-arounds' for the most common obstacles

And maybe the most important, when in doubt - go for it. You may not feel excited at the moment - but if you and your partner make the effort, by the time your done, you'll be so glad you said yes! Even if the sex turns out to be less than spectacular - you were intimate, you learned something about yourself and your partner - and things will be better next time.

Use it lose it!
05/02/2011
Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
You may want to look at the relationship. A lot of women lose their drive when they are angry at their partners. Other times, there are depression or anxiety or hormonal issues.



I'd see your OBGYN if it continues. ...
Yep. This exactly. We have experienced much of what you discuss here. It took me many years to finally figure out and get over my issues with sex (they seemed to have popped up as soon as my son turned 3). Now we are thoroughly enjoying a happy, healthy sex life once again, like before we had kids. Life is good!
05/02/2011
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Unique posters: 25