The New Intimacy

Sex with friends, while married

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Contributor: usmcwife99 usmcwife99
Ok, ime happily married. I love my husband. Hes been on serveral miltiary deployments. I want him back safely every time is my main concern but geting some action is a pretty bad want. Before he left we did alot of threesomes or foursomes with my 2 friends one of wich lives with us. They are both girls, hes had vaginal, oral, and anal sex with them but I was there to and let him matter afact he was weirry and didnt want to at first but my friend was lonely and I told him he bettter do it(dont ask long story behind that).

Anyway.....now that hes gone for another few months me and my one friend who lives with me.... well lend eachother a hand. We are very similar in what we like. For some reason its just easer to let a girl get you off with some viberators and she gives your oral an strap on etc while you imigane its him. When your face down and not looking you can sorta forget its even someone else if you have agood imiganition. I dont like helpin her and she admits she doesnt like helping me but we admit the 45 minutes we do something we like is well worth the 45 minutes or so of sex. She just likes the orgasm and doesnt reall imigane him cause shes a lesbian she can get off with just me were I cant.

Anyway how wrong is that would you do it


Oh and yes my husband knows we have done it a few times....I may of lied about the few times maybe often he doesnt like it but understands
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
You are one messed up chick
21  (64%)
Ahh I dont know what to think.....ime inbetween
3  (9%)
Its ok as long as he understands an you still love him
9  (27%)
Total votes: 33
Poll is closed
06/23/2010
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Contributor: Sir Sir
I'm not voting on this one, as none of your responses work well with how I feel.


Cheating is never right. Lying is never right in a relationship, either. You should be open with your partner before engaging in any sexual relations with another person, unless there were rules prior to these relations where both partners knew about the open terms.

Since your husband now knows that you and your "friend" have had sex, I do not know what to tell you about that one. But since you lied in the first place, you should really, really rethink what you're doing. An open relationship should never start on a foundation of lies (though there are exceptions to that, obviously).

I am not saying that having sex with your roommate is necessarily bad, but if you lie about it, then it's not right. Be open and honest. And if your husband tells you that he doesn't like it, then you should be respectful enough to respect his wishes. No person likes to be cheated on, and if he's uncomfortable with you having sex with this person, then you should respect his desire for you to stop.
06/23/2010
Contributor: usmcwife99 usmcwife99
an i wana add both of my friends are single
06/23/2010
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
I have no idea what you're asking.
06/23/2010
Contributor: Miss Cinnamon Miss Cinnamon
I agree with Sir. It's nice that your friends are single, but you are not. It's important to be honest with your partner, especially when you're apart.
06/24/2010
Contributor: shepegsME shepegsME
Don't wanna judge or anything, but how did you guys get started with such a setup? This is highly unusual so excuse me for my curiosity. How did you end up having friends over and being part of your sex life. You do not have to answer this question, I understand privacy. Just curious since this is foreign to me.
06/24/2010
Contributor: Envy Envy
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
I'm not voting on this one, as none of your responses work well with how I feel.


Cheating is never right. Lying is never right in a relationship, either. You should be open with your partner before engaging in any sexual relations ... more
^ I agree with all of this.
06/24/2010
Contributor: usmcwife99 usmcwife99
Quote:
Originally posted by shepegsME
Don't wanna judge or anything, but how did you guys get started with such a setup? This is highly unusual so excuse me for my curiosity. How did you end up having friends over and being part of your sex life. You do not have to answer this ... more
Well long story short it was a little over two years since we saw eacother. We had a "welcome home party" and by time everyone was left some our older friends stayed to watch some tv and have a few beers.

A few hours later my 2 good friends were not completly drunk but it wasnt worth risking driving home. They stayed that night on the couch. My one friend just came back and didnt orgasm for about a year. My other friend was just bored and happened to be there. My miltiary friend asked if she could borrow one of my toys while me an my husband have sex. We realized none of them were charged and we didnt feel like looking for batteries or buying some. I was so horny an so was she ime like ok time to spoil my guy. The other friend well idk how she got involved.

thats for the one foursome the next(same people) one we were all watchin tv an started talking about how we were stupid last time and while somehow we liked the memories and while you can figure it out from there.
06/24/2010
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
I'm not 100% clear on what you are asking, but if I understand you correctly, I think what you want to do sounds fine as long as you are honest with your partner. I personally do not see the harm in satisfying your sexual desires while he was away, as I'm sure you would want him to do the same when an opportunity arose for him. From what I can tell this is really not a big deal. I know a couple of my friends from high school went overseas and some of them are married; it's a very difficult place for both parties to be in. I think as long as you are being honest with him then there is absolutely nothing wrong with this.
06/24/2010
Contributor: usmcwife99 usmcwife99
Quote:
Originally posted by usmcwife99
Well long story short it was a little over two years since we saw eacother. We had a "welcome home party" and by time everyone was left some our older friends stayed to watch some tv and have a few beers.

A few hours later my 2 good ... more
and to add for the threesome

my best friend is living with us for a while till she buys a house of her own and we have a bigger house then we need anyway. I honestly dont know how she came into the picture of my sex life. Me and my husband when he was here would do a threesome every now and then(maybe 3 or 5 times a month) its not like we sit down an plan it just well goes from talking to having sex. Shes never had vaginal sex with him in a threesome but she loves giving blowjobs and I hate giving them so it works out well. I guess its addicting.....my husabd really likes it so ime good with it weve talked about it before

"its not like I feel romance from you its more of a orgasm and thats it" basicly saying yeh she may help me out and we may help her out but not in a intimite connection way that you would with your husband its more of friends with benifits while hes gone i guess and he knows

as far as how we get to doing what were doing now well long story short I was horny one night and went downstairs to go get one of my faviorte toys she borrowed and then while I heard her and idk somehow helped her out next night it was like wow lastnight was good after that we just well same thing an we had a strapon that I would use with my husand every now and then an took turns......

outside of that we can function as firneds its not like we go around holding hands only at night we majicly appeer in eachothers room but after that we go back to what were doing
06/24/2010
Contributor: usmcwife99 usmcwife99
Quote:
Originally posted by El-Jaro
I have no idea what you're asking.
"anyway how wrong is it, would you do it"
06/24/2010
Contributor: Red Vinyl Kitty Red Vinyl Kitty
TO me, the biggest thing (which I was unclear on from reading your post) is weather or not your husband knows about it. If he knows about it, and is OK with it, then there's no problem. Sneaking around behind his back would be cheating, and *that* would be the problem to me.
06/24/2010
Contributor: usmcwife99 usmcwife99
Quote:
Originally posted by Red Vinyl Kitty
TO me, the biggest thing (which I was unclear on from reading your post) is weather or not your husband knows about it. If he knows about it, and is OK with it, then there's no problem. Sneaking around behind his back would be cheating, and ... more
LOL what ime trying to say is he doesnt really care and he knows

but would you mind doing it or just wait is what I figured would be intresting to see what other girls think of it
06/24/2010
Contributor: Red Vinyl Kitty Red Vinyl Kitty
Quote:
Originally posted by usmcwife99
LOL what ime trying to say is he doesnt really care and he knows

but would you mind doing it or just wait is what I figured would be intresting to see what other girls think of it
Well, if he doesn't care and he knows, then it is consentual. Since it is consentual, then I say go for it. I'd do it, if I had a close friend who Master was OK with me being with. I'm pansexual though. Whatever floats your consentual boat!
06/24/2010
Contributor: Ciao. Ciao.
If your husband is fully aware of what is going on and knows that you are still committed to him and doesn't mind it then it's not a problem. Relationships, especially ones with distance involved, can be tough and having sex with other people (male or female) isn't a problem as long as the relationship is built on honesty and a mutual agreement that those things are okay.

If he's not okay with it, if you're not fully honest about what you've been doing, then you're being deceptive...and that's not really fair to him with the distance and strain involved.

So really, it's all about context. Open relationships are fine, flings are fine, but only if both partners feel that way and feel their needs are met and the relationship isn't compromised.
06/24/2010
Contributor: Istanbull Istanbull
Is it really that much of a lie if he only thinks she's had sex with this other chick 12 times and it's really been 20? He knows you're having sex with her, he's had a lot of sex with her too. At this point what's the difference on how many times? It's petty and hardly can be classified as cheating. He's deployed for long periods of time and as long as you both know who the other is having sex with and you have an agreement that those people are on the OK list, then what's the problem?
08/26/2011
Contributor: ParisLove ParisLove
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir
I'm not voting on this one, as none of your responses work well with how I feel.


Cheating is never right. Lying is never right in a relationship, either. You should be open with your partner before engaging in any sexual relations ... more
Totally Agree with you Sir.
08/27/2011
Contributor: sarki sarki
If the husband knows and isn't concerned then I don't see an issue. I wouldn't but only cause I'm not into girls at all even if not looking at her I would still know too much in my mind that it is a girl
08/28/2011
Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
Quote:
Originally posted by usmcwife99
Ok, ime happily married. I love my husband. Hes been on serveral miltiary deployments. I want him back safely every time is my main concern but geting some action is a pretty bad want. Before he left we did alot of threesomes or foursomes with my 2 ... more
Cheating is cheating, no matter with who or what. However, if he is okay with multiple partners when he is there, and he knows your other "lovers", then perhaps you need to ask his permission to "play" with only them. He MAY be okay with that. At least you are doing it HONESTLY.
08/28/2011
Contributor: Purpleladybug Purpleladybug
I honestly don't know how to answer this one but I hope it works out for you!
08/28/2011