Should I bring it up or just let it be???

Should I bring it up or just let it be???

InNeedOfABuzzzz InNeedOfABuzzzz
I've been dating a guy for about three months now. He's totally wonderful in bed, but he's more....conservative than I am. He's a gentle being, while me, well I like to take things to more intense level. I don't want him to think that I don't LOVE our sex life, but I don't know how to mention that I like it a little harder.

He knows I like it a little rough, after drinking a lot he seems to like it too....but what do I do? Do I just suck it up and let it be????
10/19/2011
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Ansley Ansley
What would you tell your best friend if she asked you the very same question about her relationship?

I, personally, would mention it and see how it goes. Not asking for what you want and not getting what you want can lead to resentment and ultimately a breakup. If you think the guy is worth the honesty then set the mood and see if you can't pull him out of his conservative shell.

Striking up the conversation immediately after sex could work in your favor, as people tend to me a little more open-minded and relaxed in those first few minutes. Start with saying something like "that was pretty awesome, I think my favorite part was when you _________, have you ever thought about doing __________?" From there, you'll just kind of have to feel your way through. Good luck!
10/19/2011
Eva Schwaltz Eva Schwaltz
Yeah I would bring it up too. He'll probably love your suggestions, and hopefully follow through.
10/19/2011
InNeedOfABuzzzz InNeedOfABuzzzz
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
What would you tell your best friend if she asked you the very same question about her relationship?

I, personally, would mention it and see how it goes. Not asking for what you want and not getting what you want can lead to resentment and ...
Thanks....I actually stray away from talking to my friends about sex because we are all so different and it always leads to name calling!

I'm sure he won't spaz on me or anything....we will find out. I never thought about bringing it up right after....good thinking!!!!
10/19/2011
Starkiller87 Starkiller87
Quote:
Originally posted by InNeedOfABuzzzz
Thanks....I actually stray away from talking to my friends about sex because we are all so different and it always leads to name calling!

I'm sure he won't spaz on me or anything....we will find out. I never thought about bringing it ...
I would bring it up during sex. Just talk him through what you want, or take over. Subtle suggestions like harder, faster, etc. Or buck up at him till he gets the point. So that way it just seems like part of the sex and not a we need to have a talk type thing.
10/19/2011
MissStormRyder MissStormRyder
I dated a couple of guys kinda like this once also...One I tried to talk to and tell him what and how I like sex...He freaked a bit and said I was just too wild and forward for him...So with the next guy that was like this I just started to push his boundries a little further everytime we had sex hoping he would start to get it and he did after a while and our sex life was great...But then I got bored with him and move on...Yeah...I can be a bitch that way..I admit it!
But hey!! Someone is getting a much better lover thanks to me!! Hahahahahaha
10/19/2011
Ansley Ansley
Quote:
Originally posted by InNeedOfABuzzzz
Thanks....I actually stray away from talking to my friends about sex because we are all so different and it always leads to name calling!

I'm sure he won't spaz on me or anything....we will find out. I never thought about bringing it ...
Yeah, I can understand that. I've had a few friends like that in my life. Thankfully for me, they all disappeared. Sex is a huge part of my life and it's difficult for me not to talk about it with people I'm close to, sometimes.

Some of the most successful attempts at communication with my husband have occured right after orgasm. It works, I tell ya!
10/19/2011
js250 js250
What works pretty well with my husband and I is right when we are so hot and bothered we just don't care what the other person thinks anymore. You know the point I mean, the inhibitions are gone and you just want..We usually get it, too. That is our most open time because we are so involved and worked up our inhibitions do not have time to kick in.
10/19/2011
AngelvMaynard AngelvMaynard
Quote:
Originally posted by InNeedOfABuzzzz
I've been dating a guy for about three months now. He's totally wonderful in bed, but he's more....conservative than I am. He's a gentle being, while me, well I like to take things to more intense level. I don't want him to think ...
You can bring it up in a playful way and not a "you're doing something wrong" kind of way. Make it a "Hey let's try this" a cooperative effort when introducing something either of us wants always makes it more fun. I'm sure he wants to please you, so let him know you want a little more of him faster and harder
10/19/2011
El-Jaro El-Jaro
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
What would you tell your best friend if she asked you the very same question about her relationship?

I, personally, would mention it and see how it goes. Not asking for what you want and not getting what you want can lead to resentment and ...
I totally agree with Stormy on this!

Be careful though, guys are more honest afterwards, but also more vulnerable.
10/19/2011
Katastophy Katastophy
In my last relationship, the way that our sex life became more kinky usually started with one of us just joking around and saying, "Hey, what if we ___?" and then the other would be like, "Shit, that's actually kind of hot."
10/19/2011
iwantyouwantingme iwantyouwantingme
I definately do not think you should let it be. If he does it while he is drunk that may just be the inspiration he needs, I personally think that means he has an inner kinkster in him and he just isnt sure how to let it out. Perhaps he is afraid of turning you off. Why dont you try role playing or something and see where it goes? But I think you should at least mention it to him, there is no way he can even try to fulfill your fantasies if he has no idea what they are to begin with.
10/19/2011
Total posts: 12
Unique posters: 10