The right age to learn about sex.

I'm not a parent, but I started sex education in school at eleven. There's a side of me that says it made me more curious because it was so clinical and broad, but I was also really glad I was educated in safer sex practices.

I think when a child starts asking questions it's probably a good time to start giving answers. The answers depend on the child and the question.

Sex Ed begins when you baby notices his or her genitals. That takes place in the first year of life.

We have three kids and we never had "The Talk" because there has been an ongoing dialogue about sex, body image, development etc since they were infants. It starts with naming body parts, the genitals are included with no fanfare, goes on when you have to let your toddler know that playing with his or her genitals feels really nice and is really OK, but its not something one does in the living room or in front of grandma. Then, you use Teachable Moments, like if Mama is pregnant or you see a pregnant lady. It goes on from there, until one day you're dropping your kid off at Planned Parenthood to get birth control or they have just let you know they took the initiative to do this themselves.

Starting at 8 is too damn old, if you ask me. You've lost 8 years of Teachable Moments.

There's no one time, it's a lifetime of learning, starting in infancy.

I voted 8-10, but I would say younger than that. My school started sex ed classes in first grade. I'm not sure if they still do this or how the parents must have felt about it, but it gave us all equal and age appropriate information and saved us from having to ask them many awkward questions.

I say 8-10, but I really think mostly 10 is the age range I'm interested in. Before puberty, so kids don't freak out about what's happening. I don't think telling them the nitty-gritty of sex, safe sex, etc. should be a topic for really early in life.

If I see one of the kids I babysit "fiddling", I tell them that they don't need to be doing that in front of everyone, even if it's family.
Kids start asking about why boys and girls have different parts: something general like "they have different jobs when you get older, you'll learn the specifics when it's closer to that time."
Kids try to go off and experiment with their friends: "you'll have plenty of time for that later in life, but your bodies need to catch up first."

Around 9-11 age range, I think kids need to know what their bodies are about to do (especially for girls, I can only imagine how traumatizing having your period is when you've never been told that it's going to happen.) But telling kids about STDs and such before their bodies are even supposed to be ready for sex kills the innocence, I think...

Edit: and if my kid started asking where babies come from (assuming they know it's in the mommy's tummy first), I'd tell them something like "the daddy helps the mommy start getting a seed to grow in her belly, then the belly keeps the seed healthy as it grows until it's big enough to handle the outside world." Accurate but no penises and stuff, I've met toooooo many kids wanting to have babies. If they ask how they get the seed and stuff, I'll tell them to save some knowledge to learn when they're older or something, or "it's a secret for when you grow up a little more"

Exy, you said, "If I see one of the kids I babysit "fiddling", I tell them that they don't need to be doing that in front of everyone, even if it's family." Did you let the child know it was OK to do in the privacy of his or her bedroom? I'd hate to see a child shamed about a natural activity. I always let my kids know (and kids start to play with their genitals as soon as they can get a hand down the diaper, or as soon as the diaper comes off during a change, usually in the first year of life) that it was FINE to touch themselves on their Yoni, vagina etc, but that it was a private activity just for them at this point in their lives. I also let them know that this type of play was what people who love each other do with each other, and that when they got older and more mature, they would be able to do that too, with someone they love.

Knowing the basics of sex doesn't cause anyone to want to do it. Why "no penises and stuff" ???? Knowledge is power. Nobody ever had sex when they didn't want to just because they knew what a penis was. In fact the LESS kids know the more likely they are to be predated upon.

With my kids we also made sure they knew sex was about MUCH MORE than just "making babies." As it is only honest. I've had sex 10s of thousands of times. I've only been pregnant 5 times and only was able to carry 3 to term. I think it's the honest thing to let kids know nearly ALL the sex they are going to have is going to be for fun and bonding purposes. "Babies" are only a small part of a sex life, and seeing as many people never want kids, but certainly have sex, I think it's important to let kids know that sex for fun and love is it's MAIN purpose.

I agree with Shellz, too. I don't believe in lying or hiding things. When I hear the word "secret" when it comes to sex it reminds me of.... people who do bad things to children and then tell them it's "a secret." I would NEVER want to have my kids in that situation and think that they can't tell anyone because an adult said secrets about sex were OK. I was there as a child, in part because my mother felt sex was so secretive. If she had not tried to hide things from me and said everything about one's genitals were "secrets" maybe I could have and would have told someone about the man who was hurting me.