What do you think of adult virgins?

I've heard of virgins thinking less of people who are not, and I think it's just ridiculous. Of course, often these are people who think you must wait to be married to have sex, usually due to religious beliefs. I have no time for those people and I find them rather annoying.

On the other hand, I've often been placed on a pedestal for being a virgin, or I'm told that I should be proud that I am, and those people annoy me, too. Their intentions may be good, but it's still a tad annoying. I'm not proud of being a virgin and I don't think I'm better than people who are not. While I'm not proud of it, I'm not ashamed of it, either. It just is what it is. less

I've heard of virgins thinking less of people who are not, and I think it's just ridiculous. Of course, often these are people who think you must wait to be married to have sex, usually due to religious beliefs. I have no time for those people and I find them rather annoying.

On the other hand, I've often been placed on a pedestal for being a virgin, or I'm told that I should be proud that I am, and those people annoy me, too. Their intentions may be good, but it's still a tad annoying. I'm not proud of being a virgin and I don't think I'm better than people who are not. While I'm not proud of it, I'm not ashamed of it, either. It just is what it is. less

Hrm I feel like this poll is extremely judgmental, as are some of the responses. It's a personal choice, everyone is allowed to have their own opinion, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with someone wanting to wait until they find the right person, so to speak. I know people in their 20's who have yet to have sex simply because they haven't been in a committed relationship before (meaning they've dated, but they haven't dated any one person long enough to build up that level of trust) and they don't believe in casual sex. This doesn't mean they're socially awkward, unattractive, or overly religious. Everybody is different, thus the right time is going to be different for everyone. Making assumptions based on the fact that someone has chosen not to have sex by a certain age is just silly.

Of course this is all just my opinion, and you can take it or leave it. less

Yeah, I hope it stays nonconfrotational.

I think I got used to some of the people on Em&Lo getting very upset and defensive about their "chosen virginity" and many had misconceptions about sex (the whole "farmer won't buy the cow, if he can get the milk for free" bullshit) and they would attack those of us who were not virgins, for being Sex Positive and not being afraid to talk about it. (One guy came THAT CLOSE to calling me a "whore" just in different words.) It was not nice. Em&Lo themselves were great, and some of the attacks were deleted, but it was an ongoing battle. With misconceptions about particularly women who enjoy sex popping up in even the most mundane posts.

I have NOT seen this kind of behavior on Eden and it is quite refreshing. less

No worries, I get what you're saying. I guess you would say I'm a virgin only in the sense of not having had physical sexual relations with another person. I say physical because I've had plenty of sexual relations with other people online. lol

If you go with the sense of a virgin being someone who has never been penetrated by a toy, then yes, I'm not a virgin.

I choose to call myself a virgin instead of "virgin who penetrates herself with toys but does not have physical sex with other people" because it's too long to type over and over. lol Some would argue that no matter what, I am not a virgin. To each his own. less

I've never had a sexual relationship with someone else. When confronted with the question of if I'm a virgin, I usually say that I've never had sex. I think that answers it, but without getting into the details that I just don't care to be out in the open.

I consider myself a virgin though. It seems like that is a state of mind too and as far as experience with a partner, I'm brand spankin' new. Never even french kissed! less

In my encounters, most people I have come across that are virgins are only so because of their beliefs.

I'm a slightly odd duck to most of my conservative friends because I'm a very sexual person.

I was abused and raped (by different people) and I talk about that on my blog, somewhere... anyway... Being raped definitely put me in the mentality of only being good for sex and felt that it gave me carte blanche to just fuck whoever I wanted to, then I met my husband and found that to be a false mentality (I've done a lot of work on accepting myself and my sexuality) and that I am worth more. But still, it took me eight years of being married (about 10 years since I was raped) to actually accept my sexuality and be able to enjoy it beyond just getting off.

I had originally intended to save myself for marriage. I wish I had, actually. There is something very real that happens to you when that pleasure is something that only for each other, and has only ever been, and only ever will be. But I can't change my past, so I just have to accept that there is good that comes from the trauma in my life... even if it sucks major shit wads to get to the good. And hubby and I have managed to turn our married sex life into something that resembles that, so it can be achieved even if you don't save yourself for marriage, but it takes a lot of work... and I hate working. less

Most of the ones that I have known are too afraid to commit and end up telling every guy they meet "I only see you as a friend". They tell their friends that they "haven't met the one yet". Most of them are pretty lame.

With that being said, I have one 26 year old friend that is doing it for her dying Mother who doesn't believe in sex before marriage. There are certain cases that deserve kudos and respect. less

I don't like to judge people (but I will ) I have posted on Em&Lo a lot, and there has been a LOT of talk about the "value" of "saving" your virginity by some of the posters.

I think it's something with a false value. I mean, if you are a child, yes, nobody should "take it from you." But, IMO, sexual activity is part of being an adult. I don't understand being 30 years old and "still waiting for the 'right' man." This woman is going to be TERRIBLY disappointed when she doesn't see fireworks and isn't dazzled with her first time. Not that anyone should just screw the first person who comes around, but there is a difference between making a good choice, at the proper time, and making excuses for EVERY SINGLE PERSON one dates. If someone is in their mid 20s or beyond and still "can't find the right person" just to have some sex with and NEVER has, I think there are issue beyond their dating pool.

I understand when people are ending a relationship, they may need some time Celibate just to recover and get better, but I think if someone hasn't "found the right one" by the time they are finished with their education, there is probably a problem. There are always exceptions to the rule. I met a woman who was working on her PhD and honestly, simply had been so busy since High School, she hadn't had time for relationships. Although I managed through a B.S and and M.S degree while fucking my brains out, I DO understand this woman's dedication to her work. She also got busy with sex as soon as she had that dissertation finished!

I don't know about being "closeted" or "asexual." Nor are all the adult virgins I know "unattractive" (and many people who may not be classically "attractive" have healthy and happy sex lives.) Most of the adult virgins I know have VERY inappropriate expectations about sex, and are also very uninformed about sex. Like "only sluts have sex before marriage" or "if a man loves you, he will wait for YEARS until you are 'ready' and if he won't wait, he doesn't love you." and "anyone who has had sex with more than one person is sick" and "sex is only for marriage and making humans." The Madonna Whore Complex also plays a big part in a LOT of adult virgins choices.

I think one needs to test drive to see what works. I wouldn't buy a car without several test drives, I wouldn't buy a house without walk throughs and a complete inspection, I wouldn't choose a long term partner without KNOWING how they are in the sack.

Sex is an important part of being an adult, and I DO wonder about the maturity level of people who are finished with school, working, out in the world (or maybe just adults in age without all this stuff) and still find excuses to find time for the most lovely thing in life....making love to an other person.

Mileage etc. less