What do you think of adult virgins?

Contributor: ahammer ahammer
Quote:
Originally posted by gone77
I've written about this quite a lot since I am an adult virgin. There have been all sorts of reason why I am. Nothing religious (I'm an atheist). I can be socially awkward and I'm not exactly attractive. Romantic? Meh. Idealistic? I ... more
got to say till my gf. I thought I would stay a virgin for much longer time. I had not even really kissed a girl from middle school. I'm an atheist so no religious. I'm kind of submissive person so I don't really hit on people.
don't drink or dance, so no clubing. no church thanks to the atheist.
my likes are computer programing and RPG both are not known for single women.

had thought about online dating but never did it. thankfully she hit on me while we where playing WOW. also thinks to my computer nerdyness and do my lack of knowage I have ended up here.

anyway both of us are still technically virgins still depending on how you define it.

*edit* hard for me to get upset so if you have question feel free to ask.
01/13/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by ScottA
It takes work even if you've waited. All relationships take work, and expecting things to magically work out is a foundation for disaster.

I know what you mean, that it takes more work because you have to get around your prior experience. ... more
I never meant that marriage shouldn't be work. We work very hard at our marriage. I just meant that it is "One more thing" to overcome and work towards moving past.

My Mr used to have the mentality that it should all "magically work out." Needless to say, the first 1.5 years of our marriage were really tough.
01/13/2011
Contributor: BadassFatass BadassFatass
I was with a guy for almost three years before we ever had sex. We finally did when he hit 25. He was actually afraid to have sex. I never really understood it but I tried since I cared about him.
01/13/2011
Contributor: xgreatlovex xgreatlovex
Quote:
Originally posted by Timaree
People in their late twenties and beyond who've not engaged in sexual activity: what do you think when you encounter one of them?

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i know a two mid twenties virgins and they both are socially awkward you could say lol. i dont know of other kinds of virgins i dont believe, i've heard of em just dont know any.
01/16/2011
Contributor: Eliza Eliza
I know it's close-minded, but I would typically think that if they're a good-looking person that they must be religious if they haven't engaged in sexual activity. It's just a first impression, though -- If I think through it I definitely understand that are a wide variety of reasons possible.
01/16/2011
Contributor: BluePixi BluePixi
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
I think this poll is hugely speculative and slightly judgmental in a negative way.
I agree, surely there was a more polite way to ask about this topic.

And since I have posted.
I am a 24 year old "virgin".
I suppose I am socially awkward but the reason that I feel is most pertinent as to why I have not had sex with another person is that my parents split about the time I would have started to be interested in boys. After that ugliness I had some issues to work through before I even thought about dating or spending time in a social setting. Not to mention an overprotective mother I had to work up the willpower to argue with.
01/16/2011
Contributor: Squishy Girl Squishy Girl
Quote:
Originally posted by Timaree
People in their late twenties and beyond who've not engaged in sexual activity: what do you think when you encounter one of them?

See more here link
I am 21 years old, and I am a virgin. And I am not a virgin for any of the reasons you list. Frankly, I find it distressing that that's what people think of someone like me, that I must be unattractive or religious or something. The only reason I am still a virgin is because I am ridiculously tight, and every time I try to have sex, it hurts too much. It feels like I'm being ripped in half. I have been gradually getting bigger and bigger sex toys because that's what my doctor said will help be adjust and feel less pain. That, a lot of foreplay, and a glass of wine, she said. lol. But point being, not everyone is a virgin by choice, or because they are ugly.
01/16/2011
Contributor: IrishLassie IrishLassie
Quote:
Originally posted by xgreatlovex
i know a two mid twenties virgins and they both are socially awkward you could say lol. i dont know of other kinds of virgins i dont believe, i've heard of em just dont know any.
You know I was 20 when I lost my virginity. It was with the man who later became my husband. He was my first and will be my only. When someone is an adult and is still a virgin, most people assume it is becuase of religion. Honestly, I am a Christian and that was the main driving force as to why I was a virgin for so long. I dont find anything wrong with that. And I used to get "well you are missing out on a lot" all the time and people would make fun of me for it. It was my PERSONAL decision. Back when I was a virgin, before I was seeing my now husband, I was pretty darn happy and didnt even think about this stigma of "still being a virgin". Surre i thought about it, dont get me wrong, I thought about it, but I didnt become ruled by it. I dont consider myself to be socially awkward and I still chose to be a virgin

when I met my husband, I was a virgin and he was not. He respected me for that, that made me really happy that he respected me. He didnt look down on me for it. I knew that when we finally got down to "business" and did it, I wasnt looking for bells and whistles. I knew it was going to suck on our first time. I didnt wait until I was married, for the year I really chided myself over it. But now I just dont care.

My husband has confessed to me that he wished he had waited. When I run across anyone who is an adult and still a virgin. I applaud them them. Being a society that is so driven by sex, it can be a relief to see some people who still hold true to their OWN moral beliefs and convictions. Now Im not saying that adult virgins are better or that someone who is not are horrible, or slutty. Just because someone is socially awkward, doesnt automatically label them a virgin.

People make a choice and people need to respect that and not critisize, or ridicule someone for it. Whether its someone who is telling a virgin that they are missing out or whether its a virgin whos telling someone who is not that they are going to hell or that they are a slut. In my opinion, who cares what someone else choses to do with their own life. Its their's and not mine. People chose to be/stay a virgin for many reasons: Religion, standards, romance.

Im afraid I may have talked too much. Im not here to piss anyone off. Just give my opinion. So if I have, I am sorry.
01/16/2011
Contributor: MrRainybowbow MrRainybowbow
Being a virgin in your early 20s isn't so bad i'd probly think highly of them depending on their reasonings.
01/16/2011
Contributor: imp imp
I do agree this is a highly judgemental post and veering on the edge of the ridiculous in speculation.

I was 23 when i lost my virginity and none of the reasons above where a factor in that choice. Infact some of those are quite insulting.

I chose to not have sex because I wasn't ready emotionally to go that deep with anyone. I had fun instead and explored the myriad of other things you can do without penetrative sex. I enjoyed my teenage years without the stress of dealing with sexual issues. I also was uber fussy and wasn't prepared to just go have sex with the first guy that came along and waved his dick at me.

When I finally did have sex it was with someone I fell in love with, and it was freekin awesome so I am glad I trusted my own self and didn't give into peer pressure and people's stupid assed questions speculating that there was something wrong with being a virgin.

Seriously there is an issue with people who see being a virign as something wrong. Not the other way around.

I have moved on to explore my sexuality as an adult in a healthy manner and have had a great sexual life so far. Did having sex at 23 change that? Hell no.
01/16/2011
Contributor: imp imp
Actually the stupidest question that I was asked more than once because I was a virgin in my late teens and early twenties was "Oh were you abused or something?"
01/16/2011
Contributor: Woman China Woman China
I teach college and university here in China.

This topic comes up a lot in our free talks. Without getting too much into the culture and traditions they fight with in their personal lives and their hormones of wanting to have sex with their boyfriends or girlfriends... they ask many questions about the pros and cons.

My line is usually always the same. It is a personal choice. And no one should make you feel guilty for wanting to wait, or wanting to have sex. If your boyfriend or your girlfriend is pushing you to have sex or do something you are not comfortable doing they do not respect you. And above all else at the end of the day, you have to respect the choices you make.

To each their own.

I have dated men who are older, who have never had sex. A lot of the time, it was because they were scared and afraid that they'd become addicted to sex. (Which on the inside I giggle at cause I am addicted to it). It is fun at times to play teacher in the bedroom!!!! The only downside to it, is if they watch a lot of porn. Many times; they beleive sex is just like it is in porn. That is a pretty big downside. It is kindof fun to help a person explore their sexuality.
01/19/2011
Contributor: IrishLassie IrishLassie
Quote:
Originally posted by imp
I do agree this is a highly judgemental post and veering on the edge of the ridiculous in speculation.

I was 23 when i lost my virginity and none of the reasons above where a factor in that choice. Infact some of those are quite ... more
Well put!! I couldn't agree more!!
01/19/2011
Contributor: Pandahb Pandahb
It reminds me of the movie called the 40 year old virgin. He was kind of dorky. Okay, really dorky. So that is usually my very first thought when someone on the older side says that they are a virgin. My next thought tends to stem from my boyfriend's upbringing, which is a religious abstinence one. Churches try to do their best with keeping their members pure. Obviously its a hard thing to do, so I also selected strong will power. Especially since I know quite a few people who have given into their sexual urges and were unable to stay pure.
01/19/2011
Contributor: Kaltir Kaltir
It definitely varies on a case by case basis.
02/15/2011
Contributor: Cream in the Cupcake Cream in the Cupcake
all of the above
02/15/2011
Contributor: toxie m toxie m
Definitely case-by-case. Everyone has their own reasons.
02/15/2011
Contributor: BeautiFullFigured BeautiFullFigured
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
I think this poll is hugely speculative and slightly judgmental in a negative way.
This. Exactly.
02/16/2011
Contributor: Jin Jin
I stick with my life long Mr. T philosophy of pitying the fools.
02/16/2011
Contributor: HoneyHoney HoneyHoney
I chose all of the above. I think people have their many reasons. There's nothing wrong with it unless you have some sort of unattainably high standard you want in a partner. Then it's just weird.
02/16/2011
Contributor: married with children married with children
I think it depends on why they are still a virgin.
03/20/2011
Contributor: DarkDreams91 DarkDreams91
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
I think this poll is hugely speculative and slightly judgmental in a negative way.
Agreed.
03/27/2011
Contributor: DarkDreams91 DarkDreams91
Those poll options are too limited. Not everyone's circumstances are the same. I'm a 19 year old virgin and a sophomore in college. A lot of people at my university are sexually experienced, but I don't really compare myself to them and don't really beat myself up about it. I would say I'm attractive, and I've met a lot of guys but don't solely base physical attraction as valid criteria as to whether I would sleep with someone or not. I would like to have sex with someone I actually have some similarities with. I'm an atheist, so the religion option is out, but I value something like virginity highly and don't think it should be given away just like that.
I do believe that sex is important, though. I watch porn and read about sex A LOT, and although I've been told that I shouldn't have high expectations with my first time, I want to use the things I learned and make it amazing!
03/27/2011
Contributor: Bunnycups Bunnycups
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
I think this poll is hugely speculative and slightly judgmental in a negative way.
I agree with Carrie Ann. I'm not voting because of it.
03/27/2011
Contributor: Wondermom Wondermom
are we talking absolutely no sexual activity or no intercourse? My husband had never had intercourse before we were together but he was experienced in other areas.
05/02/2011
Contributor: Wondermom Wondermom
Quote:
Originally posted by Bunnycups
I agree with Carrie Ann. I'm not voting because of it.
ditto
05/02/2011
Contributor: daniel and frances daniel and frances
Quote:
Originally posted by Timaree
People in their late twenties and beyond who've not engaged in sexual activity: what do you think when you encounter one of them?

See more here link
My biggest regret is only having sex with my husband. I fooled around a lot and did practically everything else, but I still wish I had sowed my oats more. ;-) I will NOT be teaching abstinence to my kids, only sexual responsibility.
05/02/2011
Contributor: liilii080 liilii080
My first thought is that they are socially awkward and overly romantic. My second thought is that maybe they just missed their window and now they have to do something as adult that most people awkwardly did in high school or college and I wonder if it is difficult to feel that way.
05/02/2011
Contributor: fabidefabi fabidefabi
Whatever their reasons are. I feel sorry for them for missing out on so much!
09/01/2011
Contributor: Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
I'm still a virgin at 22, for a number of reasons.

First: very few guys show interest in me, and of the ones that do, most are either total creepers or nice enough guys that just want to move faster than I do. I take a long time deciding what I really think of a person, so I guess I might be a little frustrating to deal with in that way. Of the guys I liked enough that I might build up my courage and ask them out myself, none were single at the time. (And apparently, there have been a few instances when a guy was trying to show me he liked me, and I never picked up on it.)

Second: Love-shyness. Social anxiety means that dating is hard for me, and I have trouble becoming comfortable with anything beyond hugging. This is part of the reason for my slow pace. I was even worse when I was young, and would barely talk to anyone until I was in my later teens.

Third: I probably missed a few opportunities when I was younger, due to "saving myself" for marriage and feeling superior for hanging onto my virginity. I've since dropped this attitude (quite frankly, I consider it a sign that I was immature).
09/01/2011