The New Intimacy

What gives with the "spanking"????

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Contributor: Bignuf Bignuf
There is not one porn movie we can find now, where the guy, when doing it "doggy style" with a lady, or even a girl using a harness on another girl, is not spanking the receiving partner. If it is an Anal sex scene, then spanking is almost a "must" now.

WHAT GIVES??? I would get SO turned off if my husband "spanked" me. I am not a three year old, misbehaving. That would END any "sex" session for sure. He and I BOTH don't see what this has, in ANY way to do with "sexy", "fun" or anything of the kind. SO...please, if you are into this "spanking" can you PLEASE, PLEASE explain the appeal to us?

If you are like us, and don't see the "fun" or "sexiness" of it, "speak up now" and maybe the adult movie makers will listen and realize we don't all enjoy this "misbehaving child" activity from the 1920's!!!

THANKS
09/13/2011
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Contributor: LaLaLouise LaLaLouise
I agree, I'm not really into the spanking thing and it is really overdone in movies. But I guess I can understand the appeal. There's a little bit of that "You've been a bad girl/boy and you need to be punished" mentality or as sort of an intro to bdsm.
09/13/2011
Contributor: Beaners Beaners
I'm not really bothered by it, and I kind of like the feeling. But from a psychological point of view, I'm not into it. It definitely is overdone in porn though, you're correct.
09/13/2011
Contributor: Naughty Student Naughty Student
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
There is not one porn movie we can find now, where the guy, when doing it "doggy style" with a lady, or even a girl using a harness on another girl, is not spanking the receiving partner. If it is an Anal sex scene, then spanking is almost ... more
I think that it has to do with spontaneity.

But porn is porn, it doesn't have to do with real life. Most people won't do the whole spanking thing. I think that it is a norm or standard in porn to have the penetrator spanking the penetrated.

My partner and I enjoy this very much. It is shocking, exciting, it brings blood to the area of the body that was slapped. The sound can be quite arousing. I enjoy being spanked on the butt and I love when my big breasts are slapped around also.

It is not painful, it is playful, arousing and it makes a beautiful sound. We don't do this every time we have sex, it is something we do on occasion. When my partner slaps me he does it because he loves me and he knows I love the sensation and he loves to do things to me that arouse me. He doesn't do it to me because I am misbehaving, but he could.

Having sex is fun and spanking can be a part of sex, especially if you are engaging in role play. I love being the naughty sly girl who needs to be put back in her place with a loud and thuddy spank.

I agree though, that the slaps IN PORN may be over rated and that people who watch porn and have never had sex before might take cues from porn and use them while having sex without really understanding what they are doing.
09/13/2011
Contributor: Ms. Spice Ms. Spice
i think a lot of people (save for 15 year old virgins) realize that porn is fantasy and not at all like regular sex. I hate to sound bitchy, but if you don't like it, don't watch it. there are actually lots of porn that caters to pretty much everyone's taste and they don't include spanking; seriously, google it and you should be able to find something.

there are lots of people that do like spanking, both in real life and on the screen, with myself included. i don't like because i am "a misbehaving three year old", but because it gives my partner a sense of control and i do enjoy that immensely.
09/13/2011
Contributor: Coralbell Coralbell
I don't watch porn, but I like to be spanked.
09/13/2011
Contributor: Kkay Kkay
I've always assumed that it was for the visual of it. All that jiggling flesh, the slowly-flushing skin, etc.
09/13/2011
Contributor: Yaoi Pervette (deleted) Yaoi Pervette (deleted)
I think there are a lot things we could argue are overdone in porn. Frankly, I can't stand spitting. Use lube!
09/13/2011
Contributor: Antipova Antipova
Do you mean 'spanking,' or do you mean 'slapping the receiver's ass'? Because to me a spanking is punitive, but slapping your partner's ass is just ... pure ... sensation. There's no 'you've been misbehaving' about it---it's just a sensation that feels good (for both the giver and receiver). For the giver, feeling your hand cup around your partner's buttock is hot, and hearing the sound is hot. For the receiver, it just feels really good.

I would not sit down to watch a porn of someone receiving an over-the-knee spanking---I don't think it would make a good movie. But a few slaps on the ass while the receiving partner is on their knees? That's just fine, because it's realistic (relative to my sex life). And not at all punitive, or anything to remind you of a misbehaving child. There's no way I'd slap a child's ass the way I slap my partner's! That would be sexual abuse!

And personally, I wouldn't spank my partner's ass the way I would spank a misbehaving child's (although this varies person-to-person and is pretty common in power-play scenes).

I'm sure, if you don't like it, it's quite possible to find porn where it doesn't happen.
09/13/2011
Contributor: Eva Schwaltz Eva Schwaltz
I don't watch porn, but that just sounds awful. Personally it wouldn't be arousing, especially before anal.
09/14/2011
Contributor: jg19 jg19
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
There is not one porn movie we can find now, where the guy, when doing it "doggy style" with a lady, or even a girl using a harness on another girl, is not spanking the receiving partner. If it is an Anal sex scene, then spanking is almost ... more
Ive smacked my wife on the but before as she walks past me and she liked it then. Not sure how to move this to the bedroom but about spanking in porn. I think it follows along the same lines as using spit for lube, and the girl licking or trying to lick her own nipples. Never since ive watched porn have i found any of this sexy ever esp the woman licking her nipples its like umm eww wtf are you doing who told her to do that it always makes me laugh even if i was "busy". I usually liked amature porn because the reactions are generally can be more real.
09/15/2011
Contributor: southern woman southern woman
Sometimes while having vaginal sex, if im on top my husband will spank my butt.. I finally asked him why he does that sometimes and he said cuz it causes "her" to tighten for a second and release which feels really good on "him"
09/16/2011
Contributor: jg19 jg19
Quote:
Originally posted by Bignuf
There is not one porn movie we can find now, where the guy, when doing it "doggy style" with a lady, or even a girl using a harness on another girl, is not spanking the receiving partner. If it is an Anal sex scene, then spanking is almost ... more
Found this on Reddit
09/17/2011
Contributor: - Kira - - Kira -
I love being spanked during sex or when I'm performing oral on my husband. However, I'm submissive so my opinion might not be the norm. To me it turns me on because it kinda feels like it's a way to say "you're a bad, dirty little slut" without actually saying it, which I love. It's just another way to feel dominated to me. On top of which, I like a little pain so it feels good and as others have mentioned the sound it makes is nice.

As for why it's featured so heavily in porn when the majority are probably not into bondage and the like, I have no idea. Porn is always so far from real life situations that I've stopped questioning why porn does anything anymore. Exercise in futility.
09/17/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
To each their own. Some people don't like to get or give spankings and that's fine.

However, to those of us who do like it, yeah, some of it is "you naughty girl" kind of thing. But, the sensation of the impact, the tingling afterward actually propels many of us toward orgasm. Some people enjoy intense sensation, so they will like things like spankings. And, often, if we are lucky, our partners enjoy giving us the pleasure of intense sensation.

Everybody is different. For me, it's more the physical feeling than the "idea" of being spanked. I'm a physical sensation oriented person (like, I actually choose foods more for texture than taste) so of course, I like this kind of play.
09/17/2011