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I think it is perfectly normal for guys to check women out, but I hear some women say that they don't like being "objectified", even when they wear clothing that shows off their bodies. I was just wondering what the views were here. I
I think it is perfectly normal for guys to check women out, but I hear some women say that they don't like being "objectified", even when they wear clothing that shows off their bodies. I was just wondering what the views were here. I think it is normal for guys to check women out and vice versa. I also think that if you are going to wear something that shows off a lot of cleavage, you should expect that guys will stare. What do you think? Do you dress so that men will look? If you show a lot of cleavage do you expect more and longer looks? Do you enjoy or hate being stared at?
No, I don't actually. Truth is it pisses me off big when a male is gawking at me like he has some kind of rights to my body. Ugh! If I catch a guy trying to stare (ahem, such as when they run ahead to open a door for you only to look, or standing in lines at checkouts) I will shift and turn completely so he can't. It's MY body, NOT everyone else's and I'm sick sick sick sick sick of being treated like an object. Sorry this has been something that's started really firing me up lately.
Do I like for my male partner to look at me? Heck yes. All the time. Now I do agree with you about wearing completely revealling clothing and doing things like bending over two inches from someone's face and then screaming "I don't want to be objectified or gawked at." On the other hand, I dress nice & pretty (not too revealling ever), but I wear my heels and my dresses and skirts because I
love them, and it totally infuriates me that every damn male I come across jumps to the conclusion that the clothing I'm wearing was for him. WTF? Get over yourself, you know?
I do feel that I should do my own part if I really don't want to be stared at in an inappropriate way and my part would be: not going out of my way to show myself to others. If there's men in the room and I have to bend over, I will turn my behind to where it's facing a space where no person is standing & then bend. Yes, I have been doing this for a very long time, which is how I got the hang of it. I won't get close to men and don't show them affection or any kind of flirtation.
Now, I don't believe that I should wear turtle necks and jeans and dull myself down just so that people will not gawk. That's stupid. I'm going to dress in the way that makes me happy. I express my personality in the way that I dress, the colors I wear and the style I have. That is because that's something that brings out the bright, fun inside of me and I won't ever stop that just because some men are not in control of themselves.
Like I said, we KNOW when we're bending over who's going to look. We know how to move in such ways that people HAVE to see us. I do it everyday to my partner! If he's walking in a room that I'm in, I'll pick that time to bend over and pick up something or turn in a way that shows off my body. I will not lie there. But it's not that hard to keep your body parts to yourself when you're around other people. Another instance: low cut top = holding it when I lean or bend around others. No big deal.
So no, I do not dress (not even a little bit) so that men will look. By the way, that would basically be me objectifying my own self and pretty much digging my own self a hole. I recently did a brief video where I talked about women objectifying their own selves & a lot of what I had to say kind of fits in with this. Some women who complain over getting gawked at actually went out of their way to get gawked at. And then you have women who ONLY do things to get men's attention (hard to believe, but they are out there and I know many!). And then you have those of us who truly, truly do not want that kind of attention, but want to live our lives happily while keeping to ourselves, not making efforts to get people to stare & simply expressing ourselves by wearing things we enjoy, things that brighten our spirits.
It's "normal" for guys to "check girls out?" I don't know about that. I don't think it's "normal" to get to the point to where you're basically viewing us as fucking objects or looking at us like we are in some small way yours to look at and fantasize about as you please. I can wear my fitting jeans and my appropriate skirts without putting myself in the position to where a man's attention is directly brought to me or my private areas. I can do all of this, actually, and when/if I do catch someone treating me as their own men's magazine, I make a point to let them know that their behavior was noticed & was very ugly and disrespectful to me as a fucking person, not something made for everyone to do as they please with their eyeballs. Sorry, like I said -- very pissy topic for me. I used to not be so firey about this, but I really get to the point to where I'm sick to my stomach and fed up.
Unless it is my partner, I'm going to be pissed if a man is staring at me in an overly sexual way. You can notice. You can compliment without it being a sexual thing (I hope anyway) and you can be kind. I'll show the same respect and kindness, but there's that line. There's that line. And once you've gone from a kind compliment to sexualizing me in the middle of the blasted store, no more nice girl.