Worst/Grossest/Funnies t Sexual Experience?

Contributor: Eden C. Eden C.
I'm looking for funny (not tragic) stories. Has sex ever just gone hilariously wrong for you? Please share!
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Contributor: Eden C. Eden C.
When I was 17, my girlfriend and I had a Japanese exchange student. We didn't tell our exchange student that we were dating so that she would feel more comfortable. The exchange student announced that she wanted to go upstairs and take a nap, so we thought it would be a perfect opportunity to have a quickie, so we rushed to my bedroom, took off our clothes, and started to get busy.

10 minutes into the act, our exchange student knocked on the door, and then came in anyway. We hid under the blankets. My exchange student said that she had changed her mind and decided to take a shower instead, and asked me to get her a towel. She would not go away until I got up (naked), walked into the bathroom with her, and got her a towel.

She probably still thinks that American girls spend a lot of naked time with their BFFs.
Contributor: Eden C. Eden C.
When I was 16 or 17, I tried anal sex for the first time. I used a blue lube I'd bought in the mall and gloves (thank goodness). When I put my finger inside her, I realized right away that she had not *vacated* her bowels first. I tried to play it cool and not freak out, but I just didn't have enough room to stimulate her, so I removed my fingers.

Then she sat up abruptly and announced, "SOMETHING JUST CAME OUT!" and ran to the restroom holding her butt cheeks.

I sat on the edge of the bed trying my best to forget the situation, but I knew that I would remember it forever.

I heard her screaming from the restroom, "OH MY GOD, IT'S BLUE!"

Tragically, it turned me off anal sex for a while.