The New Intimacy

Yep, Another Anal Sex Question

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Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Do you think Anal Sex has become the holy grail of sexual activity? I've seen so many threads on here about it and in other forums and it sometimes comes off as borderline obsessive.

Is there something I'm just not getting?
07/18/2011
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Contributor: GingerAnn GingerAnn
Relevant topic analysis on Anal Sex:

How often do you have anal sex?
How often do you have anal sex? I'd have to say rarely like less often than once a month...

Ladies, do you actually "encourage" anal sex from your partner when you are on your period?
Over the decades, I realized that while we never shied away from vaginal sex during my period (unless I was gushing and did not want to remove my...

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07/18/2011
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
It seems to me there are two types of people on EF - those with partners who have overcome their fears and those whose partners remain reluctant. Contributors who are comfortable with anal play and sex don't usually start the poles - but those of us looking for advise/validation that its OK, are constantly fishing for clues that will help us turn our partners to 'the dark side'.

I'm one of the later - my partner remains resistive and although I have enjoyed hearing from those with more experience, it has yet to translate into any progress at home - but hope springs eternal.

Good observation - there is a level of obsession, but it seems healthy curiosity to me.
07/18/2011
Contributor: Antipova Antipova
I think, as Gunsmoke says, most of the polls and threads are started by people who are interested in anal but aren't able to actualize their desires. I know I'm always more interested in talking about things that are on the cutting edge of my experience level. I'm happy to answer anal polls because I'm pretty experienced at it, but I never really ask any questions because I've already been at it for 10 years now.

And, to everyone who needs validation: It's definitely okay.
07/18/2011
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Oh there's no shame, just wondering why the persistence if something doesn't work or a partner just isn't interested?
07/18/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Oh there's no shame, just wondering why the persistence if something doesn't work or a partner just isn't interested?
I guess because it is possible for people to change their minds about it. I've never started a poll about anal sex (that I remember) but I engage in it. But, I resisted for literally years. My Man reminds me that I was afraid it would hurt or that he would tear me or something. I just wish we hadn't waited as long as we did.

His gentle (but not constant) persistence made me realize "Damn, I fantasize about this. Why aren't we doing it?" Enough to give it a try, after some training work. I think I thank him for his persistence every time we do it.
07/18/2011
Contributor: Antipova Antipova
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Oh there's no shame, just wondering why the persistence if something doesn't work or a partner just isn't interested?
It's hard to stop yourself from having a desire. It's possible that people are even mostly resigned to their partner never coming on board, and just use the forum as a place to talk about their desire so that at least it gets aired out a little bit. It can be stifling to sit on something that you can't act on forever...

I can empathize a lot, actually. I really enjoy receiving anal play (and have since middle school), but after I had a boyfriend who liked to be pegged, I really developed an appetite for giving, too. The next guy to come into my life can't even stand to have a finger near the outside... and I really miss pegging. I know well enough to be polite and not pester someone who is not going to change his mind... but that doesn't mean I don't still think about it a lot. Talking about it takes the edge off, even if only on forums on the internet.
07/18/2011
Contributor: Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by P'Gell
I guess because it is possible for people to change their minds about it. I've never started a poll about anal sex (that I remember) but I engage in it. But, I resisted for literally years. My Man reminds me that I was afraid it would hurt or ... more
I was also terrified and before coming to EF, I believed if my man wanted anal sex, he had to be gay. (I heard rumors) So I was quite thankful for EF and the anal sex forums so I could get the truth. I'm glad that I loved him enough to trust him and try it out.
07/18/2011