Advice?

Advice?

DeeDaw DeeDaw
I have a 14 month old daughter. Her dad treated me like shit and isn't really there for her. And, liking both genders, but preferring women, I just want to do what is best for her. I want to find a significant other who wants to be there for both her and me, in the long run, if it ever comes up. I'm rambling... But, do you think it would be better for her if I found a male companion, or do you think it would be just fine if I ended up with a female? Serious question, just out of curiousity because I haven't met a same sex couple with kids yet.
08/22/2011
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Ansley Ansley
The only thing that matters is that you find someone who loves you both unconditionally, who is willing to step up and take care of you when the chips fall and someone who is mature enough to be a part of her life. Forever.

I know a lot of single parents and the way they handle the dating issue is that they make sure they know a person's intentions and how solid of a relationship they have before introducing the child into the relationship. Children don't learn positive things when mommy or daddy has a revolving door to their bedroom.

Take it easy and take it slow. If you can't find someone who meshes well with your daughter's and your needs, then it's best to focus on raising an amazing, well-loved child. Children don't need two traditional parents to be successful, they just need lots of people to love them and care for them and show them the way of the world.
08/22/2011
Linga Linga
Quote:
Originally posted by DeeDaw
I have a 14 month old daughter. Her dad treated me like shit and isn't really there for her. And, liking both genders, but preferring women, I just want to do what is best for her. I want to find a significant other who wants to be there for both ...
I think same sex couples are just as capable of raising well adjusted children. Gender has nothing to do with your ability as a parent. The thing you need to focus on more than your next partners gender is Are they going to love your child? Will they make you happy and treat both of you well?
08/22/2011
Peggi Peggi
I don't think that gender matters when it comes to relationships, and I don't think that either is beneficial more or less to a child's upbringing, but being in a relationship where there is love, understanding, respect and most of all where you can both put the child above all else is MOST important.

I don't think having a "male" figure is "all important" and children who grow up in single parent homes are no more or less able to survive in the world than those who grow up with a male and female parent, and those who grow up with two parents of the same gender are no more or no less functioning than any other child.

Basically, it boils down to your parenting itself, not the gender of who is doing the parenting
08/22/2011
Ghost Ghost
I think kids respond more to your mood and metal state than the gender of their parents. I hate when people stay in unhappy relationships "for the sake of the children". It really gives a bad example, and props to you for getting out of one when you felt you needed to!

When you are with someone who makes you happy, regardless of their gender, your child will grow up with a better idea of how relationships should be.
08/23/2011
froggiemoma froggiemoma
I think it is more important to find a person you love then the sex of the person.
08/23/2011
Purpleladybug Purpleladybug
If they treat you well then that is all that matters.
08/23/2011
Jul!a Jul!a
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
The only thing that matters is that you find someone who loves you both unconditionally, who is willing to step up and take care of you when the chips fall and someone who is mature enough to be a part of her life. Forever.

I know a lot of ...
Said way better than I could have
08/24/2011
P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by DeeDaw
I have a 14 month old daughter. Her dad treated me like shit and isn't really there for her. And, liking both genders, but preferring women, I just want to do what is best for her. I want to find a significant other who wants to be there for both ...
I think whoever you fall in love with and who also learns to love your child, and is kind to her and not jealous is the right person.

The gender isn't that important.
08/24/2011
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by DeeDaw
I have a 14 month old daughter. Her dad treated me like shit and isn't really there for her. And, liking both genders, but preferring women, I just want to do what is best for her. I want to find a significant other who wants to be there for both ...
Studies show that children raised by same sex couples have no significant behavioral problems or other issues...in short they are perfectly noral kids that have perfectly normal problems. So that worry out of the way I would suggest that you find a partner (or partners since the study also showed the same results for kids raised by poly relationship families) who is committed to you, your child and any other future children. Someone or someones with whom you share common goals and drives as well as desires. When you find this person (or persons) hang on and really dig down and make it work. The gender of your partner(s) is less important than the way they treat you and your child.
08/24/2011
DeeDaw DeeDaw
Thank you all for your input. I really appreciate it.
10/24/2011
Total posts: 11
Unique posters: 10