Bisexual Identity

Bisexual Identity

TheParrishism TheParrishism
I am curious if someone could explain this mentality to me. I am a gay man and my boyfriend is bisexual. We have been together for two years. Whenever it comes up that he is with me/that he has a boyfriend, he seems to always qualify it with that he is bisexual. It worries be that he doesn't seem to want to just leave it at the fact that he is with a boy. Should this worry me? Why does he feel the strong need to remind everyone that he likes girls too? He is with me and we are monogamous. What does it matter? Can anyone explain it?
03/12/2012
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Ghost Ghost
Have you tried asking him these questions?
03/13/2012
TheParrishism TheParrishism
Quote:
Originally posted by Ghost
Have you tried asking him these questions?
He just says that it is because he is bi. I just wanted to know how other people identify when they are in a a long term relationship.
03/13/2012
Anastasia Beaverhousen Anastasia Beaverhousen
Some people are like that about their sexuality. The fact that he's bisexual may just be an important part of how he views himself. It might also be that he feels that people are more likely to view bisexuals more favorably, for some reason. It's not something I can speak on, since I'm not sure of his mindset. If it really bothers you, you should probably try talking to him more in depth about it.
03/15/2012
Khanner Khanner
Does he seem defensive about it? I can see how that would be frustrating. Not everyone has their internalized homophobia worked out by the time they start dating. I'd say just give him some time and space to let him work it out on his own.

I still identify as bi even though I'm in a hetero relationship. The only time it gets brought up is when we're joking around. I don't usually tend to correct people when they mislabel me though, cause it's none of their business.
03/16/2012
tigertiger tigertiger
Quote:
Originally posted by TheParrishism
I am curious if someone could explain this mentality to me. I am a gay man and my boyfriend is bisexual. We have been together for two years. Whenever it comes up that he is with me/that he has a boyfriend, he seems to always qualify it with that he ...
well, there is plenty of biphobia in both the straight and gay communities. a lot of people think that bisexuality doesn't exist and that if a bisexual person is in a steady relationship, that person becomes either straight or gay depending on who they're dating. that's a really frustrating thing for a lot of bisexual people, and if his identity as bisexual is important to how he views himself (and it sounds like it is) or if it's a label he's struggled to accept, then i think it makes sense that he'd want to make it clear to people.
03/25/2012
callsignhusker callsignhusker
it sounds like he's trying to solidify his own identity as a bi man. like, i do exist!!
04/22/2012
PDXlady PDXlady
Quote:
Originally posted by tigertiger
well, there is plenty of biphobia in both the straight and gay communities. a lot of people think that bisexuality doesn't exist and that if a bisexual person is in a steady relationship, that person becomes either straight or gay depending on ...
I agree that this is probably what's going on. I'm in a hetero relationship and I like to let people know that I'm not heterosexual because I feel that it's an important part of my identity. That being said I would ask him about it because everyone has their own motives driving their actions.
05/02/2012
SouthernBelle SouthernBelle
I was recently a member of a panel where this question was asked repeatedly. One of my close friends is bisexual and engaged to a man, while I am bisexual and committed to a woman. For each of us, we still hold our identities close to us because it is who we are. I may be with a woman, but I still find men attractive, in the same way you probably still find other men attractive. Being bisexual comes with its own set of problems and issues, and its own set of prejudices, and I'm sure he doesn't want that to go unnoticed.
05/04/2012
Total posts: 9
Unique posters: 8