The New Intimacy

Holidays and Coming Out

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Contributor: Bethy Cassatt Bethy Cassatt
Would you/have you come out during the holidays, or does it seem like a bad time to do it?

It's been strange recognizing what I am for the first time in years, and now I catch myself making comments about other women, terrified what my family would think.
12/26/2012
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Contributor: aluminummm aluminummm
I came out to my parents last summer. I had asked them not to talk about it to the rest of the family, but my mom outed me to my grandparents in a really fucked up way just before Thanksgiving. It only took about three days for everyone else in my family to hear about it. It made me terrified to see everyone for the holidays since I remembered how awful they were to my brother when he came out. In the end, my family just avoided the topic altogether, like they could just pretend it away. And I was weirdly okay with that. It's been over a year now and no one has really confronted me about being queer yet, and I am safe enough that I can make comments about girls I'm into just to relish in how squeamish and uncomfortable everyone suddenly gets.

I hope things go over smoothly with you and your family, whatever you decide to do. Know that coming out (or not) to your family doesn't make you any more or less of who you are. Do what feels right and safe for you, and fuck anyone who tells you differently. <3
12/26/2012
Contributor: Pink Kitty Pink Kitty
Honestly if you are going to come out of the closet, there is no "proper" time to do it. There never will be, never has been. But the holidays are just the ABSOLUTE WORST time. My mother found out I was "pansexual" and found out what it meant when I was 15.

She didnt know much english (we are polish), and this was around christmas. And I came home from school, she had my diary in hand. The first words out of her mouth in english "YOU RUINED CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!" She called up my grandparents earlier that day saying "We are going to church, and that we wont be attending christmas." I mean I had learned that christmas "KEEP A LOCK ON YOUR DIARY!" But when we went to church I ended up covering my butt and said "I have seen my sinful ways" And they are convinced I am straight now. The whole family is.

SO! The best way to do it is just to lightly bring it up in conversation. Try to get them involved in homosexual conversations BUT! Acting as if you are a simple supporter of LBGT people rather than outing that you are one. Then see how they react.

Thats how I found out not to tell my parents later on in life.
02/03/2013