Sapiosexuality

Contributor: KinkyShay KinkyShay
This means being attracted to intelligence, regardless of gender. Does anyone else define their sexuality in such terms? I find that the smarter a person is, the more I am attracted to them. There are exceptions, to be sure, but in general, I find smart people HOT.
02/03/2010
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Contributor: sarahbear sarahbear
I am definitely attracted to intelligence. A lot. I don't know that being smart would be enough to make me feel a strong enough attraction to women that I wouldn't consider myself heterosexual anymore though. I do find (most) women beautiful, but I don't feel sexually or romantically attracted to them. It's an interesting idea though.
02/03/2010
Contributor: Sammi Sammi
Intelligence is definitely attractive to me, but not necessarily in a sexual way.
02/03/2010
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
There are a fair number of studies out there that show that intellectual parity is important. Too great of a difference in intellectual capacity makes effective communication difficult. I like to find people a bid higher up the scale than myself - and challenge myself to take it up a notch. Actually it's similar in sports - the better your competition - the more likely you are to play/perform better.

Aside from the sports analogy I'm not in this game anymore. As a happily married guy I've already found my soul mate. We're compatible at many levels - not just IQ. We're both a bit above average - Masters Degree level - but it's our common sense approach to life and problem solving that seems to work best.

What the heck - go find yourself a Bill Clinton clone (Rhodes Scholar) and report back about how great the experience is for you!
02/03/2010
Contributor: deceased deceased
Yes. I find intellegence the most important thing of all. Till I moved to Hawaii, I only dated people in my area's MENSA special interest groups.

I don't date much in Hawaii. We are a state that does not value education or intelligence. I like to laugh at the doctors notes with all the spelling mistakes at work, and English is their primary language. On outer islands like Maui, Kauai and Molokai'i there are no colleges. They have a community college, but it is mostly a trade school with remedial reading. Our educated people come from the mainland, China and Japan. Our nurses come from the Phillipines. We have 2 colleges on Oahu. Our public schools are only 4 days a week so that the government saves money on teachers and buses. Our educational system here is on par with a third world country. We also have a language called "local pigin" which has mostly phonetic spellings and omits a lot of necessary word. It's like Ebonics, but its spoken all the time to everyone, not just a "social cultural group".

I couldn't have a relationship with a person who was not brilliant. It doesn't matter if they didn't go to college. There are plenty of people with ambient temperature intelligence quotient rating people with degrees. Beauty can only get you so far. Especially in a relationship. Its called a relationship for a purpose - it involves communication, and if people aren't communicating on a compatible level, the relationship fails. I mean what the hell do you talk about when you are not having sex or role playing or whatever you do together?

Some people are happy to sit down and just watch tv together and barely say anything. Some others would rather discuss politics (I just had a great convo the other night on Eugenics) or astrophysics and try to approximate the imponderable space that exists - or how large a black hole can become. If your partner bores you out of bed its time to move on.

Genius is hot. I had an aunt and uncle who met through a MENSA special interest math group, they were both professors and authors of math textbooks. They had a great marriage - both were over 40 when they met, it was the lure of an intellectually stimulating partner that made them magnetic.
02/03/2010
Contributor: KinkyShay KinkyShay
Quote:
Originally posted by deceased
Yes. I find intellegence the most important thing of all. Till I moved to Hawaii, I only dated people in my area's MENSA special interest groups.

I don't date much in Hawaii. We are a state that does not value education or ... more
Great post. A lot of that is news to me. 4-day school weeks? Local pigin?! I once contemplated a move out there. Glad I re-evaluated my choices.
02/04/2010
Contributor: Hyenagirl Hyenagirl
Oh, definitely. As a university student, I find myself attracted to people I can have intelligent discourse with. Someone who finds homeobox gene regulation as fascinated as I do, or who can discuss Terry Pratchett and his work...it's a complete aphrodisiac. Even my fictional crushes are on geniuses: the Riddler, Agatha Heterodyne, Hermione Granger, etc. The brain is the ultimate aphrodisiac, after all; besides, the more intelligent your partner is, the more ways to have fun you can come up with!
02/22/2010
Contributor: GNGenie GNGenie
I think my attraction is largely based on personality regardless of sex. I tend to like people who read a lot, like quiet time, and don't make a lot of demands. Intelligence is, of course, a great add-on but sometimes I find it aggravating to be with someone who bludgeons me with their alleged "superiority".
03/27/2010
Contributor: Miss Cinnamon Miss Cinnamon
Quote:
Originally posted by GNGenie
I think my attraction is largely based on personality regardless of sex. I tend to like people who read a lot, like quiet time, and don't make a lot of demands. Intelligence is, of course, a great add-on but sometimes I find it aggravating to ... more
Heh, not all smart people are assholes (and not all assholes are smart!)

I'm pretty gender-neutral when it comes to who I'm attracted to, and average intelligence is a must, but I can't be with someone who is only defined as "intelligent". I also need someone who knows how to read my body language, with whom I can effectively communicate, who is funny-smart, not just I-can-help-you-with-or go smart. I also need someone I can cuddle with and who is patient with me when I'm being difficult. It's a pretty tall order, but I've been lucky so far
03/27/2010
Contributor: Backseat Boohoo Backseat Boohoo
I cannot tell you how many over-the-hill, physically unattractive, crotchety professors I have wanted to bang, just because they are so smart.
03/28/2010
Contributor: Andromeda Andromeda
Quote:
Originally posted by Backseat Boohoo
I cannot tell you how many over-the-hill, physically unattractive, crotchety professors I have wanted to bang, just because they are so smart.
I only have one professor I want to bang, and he happens to be in his early 30's, smokin' hot, and possibly the smartest man I have ever met. Now if only all professors were like that.... *sigh*

But yes, I am absolutely attracted to smarts. I prefer to date very intelligent men (if I had to put it in terms of IQ, as arbitrary as that is, I'd say 130 or higher, preferably 140 or higher), and while I'm not sexually attracted to women, I tend to surround myself with smart women (aka, all my friends are nerds lol). Oh and it's not enough to be a nerd in the book smart sense... I need someone to geek out over sci fi with too! :p
03/28/2010
Contributor: Darling Dove Darling Dove
I prefer smart partners, but I've also been with people who wouldn't really be perceived as booksmart and yet they are fascinating to me. My current partner is extremely horrible at tests but he's really intelligent if you take the time to explain things to him, which is great for me because I love to talk.

I used to be extremely motivated by smarts though, but it's intimidating to me in other women as opposed to attractive so I suppose I am not purely sapiosexual.
03/28/2010
Contributor: KBToys24 KBToys24
I've never really thought about this but yes I guess I would identify myself as a sapiosexual. Intelligence is mandatory in all my relationships, even friendship. Although I've gotten better at it over the years, I have a generally low tolerance for genuinely stupid individuals.I don't mean those who have simply grown up without opportunities to learn, but those who either have no ability to learn and grasp concepts and those who elect to be ignorant. The latter grouping tends to really grind my gears and I probably end up foaming at the mouth I get so angry with them.
04/10/2010
Contributor: Tori Rebel Tori Rebel
Quote:
Originally posted by KinkyShay
This means being attracted to intelligence, regardless of gender. Does anyone else define their sexuality in such terms? I find that the smarter a person is, the more I am attracted to them. There are exceptions, to be sure, but in general, ... more
I actually had not heard of this term of sexuality until recently. I'm definitely attracted to intelligence, regardless of gender or gender identity. I also have a few other specific elements that I tend to look for in people (again, despite gender), but none more than intelligence, but maybe some equal? This is why I'm not sure I fit into this category, and honestly, I'm not sure I fit into any particular category and I'm ok with that.
08/14/2010
Contributor: zeebot zeebot
Intelligence is attractive up to a point...let's just say, as someone who spends a lot of time in a university math faculty, there are extremely intelligent people who are ENORMOUS JERKS. You know the show Big Bang Theory? Yeah, that's totally not an exaggeration, I know people like every character on that show.

I like intelligence, provided they don't use it to make other people feel stupid or put them down.
02/07/2011
Contributor: RosesThorns RosesThorns
That does apply to me. I tend to be attracted to people based on their personality and level on intelligence rather than what they look like or their gender. Although I was interested in Women well before I was interested in Men.
03/16/2011
Contributor: Curves Curves
totally!
04/14/2011
Contributor: Noira Celestia Noira Celestia
Oh wow I've never heard of this but yes totally! I have had crushes on so many professor as well because of how intelligent they are. I had a science teacher that had also been published as romance writer and I thought was just so incredibly hot in an intellectual sort of way. So yes, intellectuality really really attracts me. ;3
06/22/2011
Contributor: Crichton Crichton
I love smart people. That is my main focus when I'm with someone. If they are smarter than me and can teach me new things I am instantly attracted to them. I love nerds and geeks. So sexy. I stopped dating a guy because he wasn't smarter than me.
07/19/2011