The New Intimacy

It Gets Better campaign

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Contributor: lezergirl lezergirl
For those of you who haven't heard of it, their website is here: link

It was created in response to the gay suicides that happened a few months back, mostly on the premise of "showing LGBT youth what their lives might be like as openly gay adults." I happen to think the whole thing is rather pretentious, because while it is great to encourage kids to come out and be themselves, I think the It Gets Better project is putting the issue more on the kids than on their environments and ignoring the huge risk some people are in if/when they come out. Thoughts?
02/21/2011
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Contributor: VieuxCarre VieuxCarre
The problem isn't people being gay. The problem is bullying and, to be honest, life does get better. I've been bullied before for being the fat kid and other things. People are bullied for being different and not following the ebb and flow of "normal" society.

I don't think it's pretentious. There needs to be some encouragement to show kids that yeah, it sucks that people pick on you, but it does get better. People get bullied for numbers of things and have for years.

Just my .02
02/21/2011
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
Quote:
Originally posted by lezergirl
For those of you who haven't heard of it, their website is here: link

It was created in response to the gay suicides that happened a few months back, mostly on the premise of "showing LGBT youth what their lives might be like as ... more
I don't know that the project is necessarily putting pressure on kids to come out, but I do think that it's extremely misguided. I appreciate the sentiment behind it, but I think it's really presumptuous to tell some kid you've never met that their life will get better. Because actually? It didn't get better for Lawrence King. Or Matthew Shepard. Or Brendan Teena. Or Ruby Rodriguez. They were killed.

And honestly? Life gets better for some because they move to an urban center where there are more resources for LGBT folks. Others stay isolated in small towns with a lot of hatred and violence. Others never find a way to reconcile their religious faith with their sexual or gender identity. I thought about making one of those videos but I didn't. It would be presumptuous and untrue for many that would watch.

I better message? Please don't take your own life; stay on this earth and fight with us to MAKE things better. Please don't take your life because you are loved and WE WILL MISS YOU. But "it gets better" I thought was a really misguided message, definitely.
02/21/2011
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
Also thanks for making this great post, this is a really interesting topic I've discussed a lot with my friends. I look forward to reading more replies on this.
02/21/2011
Contributor: Dusk Dusk
I wish I had kept the link, but there was a great YouTube video for the campaign that stuck with me; a female member of the community talked about how it doesn't necessarily get better, but you get stronger and better at dealing with it. I really appreciated her fresh view because yeah, I think the campaign message can sound fake and unrealistic.
02/21/2011
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by Owl Identified
I don't know that the project is necessarily putting pressure on kids to come out, but I do think that it's extremely misguided. I appreciate the sentiment behind it, but I think it's really presumptuous to tell some kid you've never ... more
I have to agree. Sometimes it DOESN'T get better with time and age. My family has disowned me twice for not following their narrow minded "way" so no in my case it didn't get better until I found EF. I would not, however, change where I am now for the possibly easy way out. THIS I would emphasize to a struggling teen, that it CAN get better with time but you have to work at it. It doesn't just happen but it will get easier the more we stand firmly together and make it better. We will miss you would be a much better message, and more life affirming.
02/21/2011
Contributor: Paradoxica Paradoxica
Quote:
Originally posted by lezergirl
For those of you who haven't heard of it, their website is here: link

It was created in response to the gay suicides that happened a few months back, mostly on the premise of "showing LGBT youth what their lives might be like as ... more
Personally, I feel it's a wonderful campaign and that schools should really incorporate this kind of education in their curriculum. Hatred and bigotry are generally learned...ignorance leads to intolerance.

You have kids that feel like nobody in the world understands them and this campaign aims to let them know they are not alone.

Kids deserve to have hope that things CAN get better.

My favorite video from the project is Rebecca Drysdale's. Highly recommend it.
09/04/2011
Contributor: CherryDyke CherryDyke
Quote:
Originally posted by Paradoxica
Personally, I feel it's a wonderful campaign and that schools should really incorporate this kind of education in their curriculum. Hatred and bigotry are generally learned...ignorance leads to intolerance.

You have kids that feel like ... more
Oh god that rebecca drysdale video is great!

I like the program, while I'd love to see bully stop, I think it's important that children get past the bullies. We don't want them taking our children's lives.
09/04/2011
Contributor: mizzmilla mizzmilla
I think it's a wonderful project. Absolutely wonderful. It's not pressuring kids to come out at all. It's saying that if they want to, or if it's obvious, or if they already have - and they've been bullied or are afraid of not being accepted, that there are people out there that care about them and were in their place once. It's saved lives for sure. Kids think so many times during their youth that there's no hope, I've known several teens and preteens even that have contemplated suicide because no one understands them and they feel like no one is willing to help. This campaign has helped tremendously in getting anti-bullying bills passed for public education systems across the nation. My university wrote up a grant last year because of this project to help with anti-bullying campaigns around campus. I attend NC State, we made an It Gets Better video last February and the positive feedback we got from it was just unbelievable coming from one of the most conservative campuses in the state. We have students here commit suicide every year because of bullying. Many of them are members of the GLBT community. This project and all of the other media that came about last year due to all of the tragic suicides brought our campus together. Our chancellor came to all of the programs that members who WEREN'T part of the GLBT community put on for students.

I disagree 100% with this project being "pretentious" ; ;.
09/12/2011
Contributor: Rawhide Rawhide
"It Gets Better" is absolutely not about pressuring kids to come out. Dan Savage has been very open about saying he supports young people staying in the closet for reasons ranging from personal safety and emotional readiness to lacking financial independence. His issue is with older, mature, financially independent closet cases.

The project is about helping bullied and potentially suicidal young people imagine a future for themselves. The isolation of being a young closeted queer in a small town can be soul crushing- "It Gets Better" helps us reach kids who can't find support anywhere else and give them hope. I think it's a noble cause and a great message. These kids need to know that they aren't alone and there is a whole world out there waiting for them. My life growing up would have been very different had there been something like this.
09/13/2011