Completely offensive. I don't let people get by with saying it.
Thats so gay Offensive?
08/21/2011
I think it's very offensive.
08/21/2011
I find it very offensive and I call people out on it. If they don't like it and decide to keep using it I don't hang around them. If they say sorry or that they didn't mean to offend me, then I'm forgiving about it. If I have to tell someone like that twice though, it's the same situation. I've ended up surrounding myself with people that feel the same way and it's worth removing myself from being around the others.
08/22/2011
I'm not offended by it at all. The word "gay" has a TON of meanings. Matter of fact, homosexuals are appropriating the word just has much as anyone else. It's not an original meaning either.
08/27/2011
I say 'that's gay' somewhat often. But that's just because I cant think of a better word to describe how I'm acting when I walk into a resturaunt and start to ramble about how I wish I could redecorate and change the lighting. Or my wonderfully ideas all concerning a rave club.
08/28/2011
Most people who use this phrase do not mean to offend. I personally don't think it is very offensive, but I can see how it would be hurtful to people who already have enough trouble finding acceptance for who they are.
09/25/2011
09/25/2011
My son has started using that phrase and it drives me insane. He doesn't mean it as offensive but it's apparently just something kids are saying right now. Annoying.
09/25/2011
I first heard this expression in high school, and it was always from a (seemingly) straight kid expressing dislike for something. And yeah, the association gay = lame is offensive, period.
But like all derogatory terms, this one can and has been somewhat reclaimed. I've heard it used by other queers either ironically or to actually describe something that is super gay. Like a blonde twink in a unicorn costume dancing to Lady Gaga. That is, indeed, so gay.
So it's really all about who is using it and how it's used. But like all reclaimed terms, if it wasn't used against you, you can't be the one to reclaim it.
But like all derogatory terms, this one can and has been somewhat reclaimed. I've heard it used by other queers either ironically or to actually describe something that is super gay. Like a blonde twink in a unicorn costume dancing to Lady Gaga. That is, indeed, so gay.
So it's really all about who is using it and how it's used. But like all reclaimed terms, if it wasn't used against you, you can't be the one to reclaim it.
09/26/2011
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I find that the offensiveness of the usage depends on the speaker, and their intentions. I personally use the phrase "that's like, *so* totally gay" from time to time as a jest-ful rebellion against those who use it in all seriousness (often accompanied by a ridiculous American accent of some sort). Some of my friends have expressed that they are still offended by it nevertheless, and that I am perpetuating its usage even though I am making an attempt at parody. I think that this is a valid point, and have tapered off in recent years, especially in their company--I do not wish to offend, by all means.
Originally posted by
Sweet-Justice
Does anyone find that when people use "Gay" as a negative way to address something its offensive?
However, I think that parody is an excellent tonic for past hurt, and a fun way to point out who is at fault through light-hearted ridicule, and make people examine what exactly it is that they are offended by (on both sides of the fence!). I'm very obviously not homo-phobic (if you've met me) and an open ally to the LGBT(QQIA) community. I think people sound ridiculous when they say "that's so gay" in all seriousness, and should be told so, but by someone who isn't looking to start a fight. Many folks are simply ignorant, and shouldn't be punished for that--just gently chided for their inappropriate behavior.
09/26/2011
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I totally agree with you about not being offended by the usage of the term and your arguments for doing so, but I do disagree with your linguistic argument. "The times are changing and so are the words," you wrote--and that is why when someone says "fag," "faggot" or "gay" in the United States, you KNOW they aren't talking about a cigarette, a bundle of wood or light-heartedness.
Originally posted by
ToyGurl
I posted no. Now don't everyone gang up on me... but I see it as a pop culture word. For instance, when someone says "OH MY GOD" and they use God's name in vain. Most people look past that - it's an expression.
Gay ... more
Gay ... more
I posted no. Now don't everyone gang up on me... but I see it as a pop culture word. For instance, when someone says "OH MY GOD" and they use God's name in vain. Most people look past that - it's an expression.
Gay didn't always mean homosexual until quite recently in the world. That's another example of pop culture. The times are changing, and so are the words.
Fag used to be a cigarette or a cigar. Now it is a derogatory term for a homosexual male. But in other countries, the word fag is still popularly used as a term for cigarettes. The Polish side of my family has always referred to cigarettes as fags, and still do to this day.
Then you have the "You're so retarded". The "What's up my nigguh?" and so on... They are just words. If they aren't said in order to put down a gay person, then it doesn't really apply to them.
This doesn't mean someone isn't free to take offense to it. Everyone feels differently. I just think people need to learn to somewhat understand that words are just words, and look past it. I have said this term every now and then when something really crazy happens. Even most of my homosexual friends say this. I try not to say it just because I'm watching the way I speak, but I don't think it's a huge deal. less
Gay didn't always mean homosexual until quite recently in the world. That's another example of pop culture. The times are changing, and so are the words.
Fag used to be a cigarette or a cigar. Now it is a derogatory term for a homosexual male. But in other countries, the word fag is still popularly used as a term for cigarettes. The Polish side of my family has always referred to cigarettes as fags, and still do to this day.
Then you have the "You're so retarded". The "What's up my nigguh?" and so on... They are just words. If they aren't said in order to put down a gay person, then it doesn't really apply to them.
This doesn't mean someone isn't free to take offense to it. Everyone feels differently. I just think people need to learn to somewhat understand that words are just words, and look past it. I have said this term every now and then when something really crazy happens. Even most of my homosexual friends say this. I try not to say it just because I'm watching the way I speak, but I don't think it's a huge deal. less
I also agree that they might not be saying such phrases in an attempt to hurt, cajole or intimidate, but out of ignorance, and that's a good point. Again, I'd say that these words have changed in meaning, and never had these original meanings during the lifetimes of most of those that use them. When you hear a teenager say "that's so gay," I can guarantee they aren't commenting on the light-hearted nature of the theatrical farce which they just witnessed in yon theatre.
Though in the end, I would say that you're right--words are words, and I do believe that it is up to the interpretation of the listener to CHOOSE whether or not to be offended, because we OWN our emotions, and get to choose how we react to things that happen to us in the world.
Good for you for speaking your mind, even though you knew it wouldn't be a popular opinion.
09/26/2011
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I totally agree that people are too sensitive, like they can't find anything better to do with their lives than be offended by people. It's pretty dumb (geez I hope that doesn't offend mute people) and moronic (I hope that doesn't offend anyone with an IQ between 51 and 70).
Originally posted by
Miss Zombie
I honestly don't feel that it's offensive. I think there are ways people can make it offensive. I have gay friends and I use that expression around them all the time and no one knows the difference. It's actually kind of funny because
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I honestly don't feel that it's offensive. I think there are ways people can make it offensive. I have gay friends and I use that expression around them all the time and no one knows the difference. It's actually kind of funny because they use it as well. I think people at times can be a little too sensitive about things.
I get irritated if someone calls me out about saying the word "retarded". A lot of people use that expression and honestly I don't use it in an offensive way. I don't make fun of anyone or condone any type of bullying, but like I said earlier, I think people are too sensitive sometimes. Either that or they are only wanting to cause drama. less
I get irritated if someone calls me out about saying the word "retarded". A lot of people use that expression and honestly I don't use it in an offensive way. I don't make fun of anyone or condone any type of bullying, but like I said earlier, I think people are too sensitive sometimes. Either that or they are only wanting to cause drama. less
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(1)This is unacceptable / Against the Expectations of Conduct
09/26/2011
I don't find the phrase "that's so gay" or "that's gay" offensive at all. In fact, my girlfriend and I say it in conversation every now and then.
Now, if someone were saying something like 'well maybe if you weren't gay, this wouldn't happen to you,' then I'd be offended by it.
Otherwise, I think that unless a person is truly meaning it to be mean, it has no affect on me personally. Now, that isn't to say that other people find it offensive, because obviously they do, and apparently its an unpopular opinion that people DON'T find it offensive in this thread.
There are always going to be words that offend people, I believe it is how we chose to react to them that can show how strong we are against hatred or the ignorance behind those words.
Now, if someone were saying something like 'well maybe if you weren't gay, this wouldn't happen to you,' then I'd be offended by it.
Otherwise, I think that unless a person is truly meaning it to be mean, it has no affect on me personally. Now, that isn't to say that other people find it offensive, because obviously they do, and apparently its an unpopular opinion that people DON'T find it offensive in this thread.
There are always going to be words that offend people, I believe it is how we chose to react to them that can show how strong we are against hatred or the ignorance behind those words.
09/26/2011
I DO, however, personally find the "Think B4 You Speak" campaign to be somewhat offensive. Not their intentions, but their delivery. I know it's aimed at teenagers, but if they want teenagers to abandon ignorant practices and behave like adult citizens of the world, they should talk to teenagers like adults, first. I followed the campaign closely when it first came out and felt that the videos were well-intentioned, but patronizing and simplistic in tone. In my Public Health training, I was taught that this is a textbook example of a poorly-planned advocacy campaign, because it doesn't reach out to those that PERFORM the unwanted behavior, but rather cultivates a community among those that already disapprove of the usage of "that's so gay." It has good results for LGBT/allied communities, fostering feelings of accomplishment, but doesn't really change the undesired behavior among the target audience--those that say that things are "gay." I would be very interested in seeing independent external evaluation results of the campaign.
Also, I strongly suggest people look at Penny Arcade's take on the matter, I think it sums up the hetero-centric, popular (NOT LGBT advocate) response quite well, and it's hilarious.
link
Also, I strongly suggest people look at Penny Arcade's take on the matter, I think it sums up the hetero-centric, popular (NOT LGBT advocate) response quite well, and it's hilarious.
link
09/26/2011
I think it is offensive. Just as saying something is "retarded" is offensive.
09/26/2011
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I agree! I think the campaign has the wrong delivery and quite frankly, when I was around that age when they came out, a lot of my friends were making fun of the campaign. Teens can't take it seriously.
Originally posted by
Lolita Slut
I DO, however, personally find the "Think B4 You Speak" campaign to be somewhat offensive. Not their intentions, but their delivery. I know it's aimed at teenagers, but if they want teenagers to abandon ignorant practices and behave
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more
I DO, however, personally find the "Think B4 You Speak" campaign to be somewhat offensive. Not their intentions, but their delivery. I know it's aimed at teenagers, but if they want teenagers to abandon ignorant practices and behave like adult citizens of the world, they should talk to teenagers like adults, first. I followed the campaign closely when it first came out and felt that the videos were well-intentioned, but patronizing and simplistic in tone. In my Public Health training, I was taught that this is a textbook example of a poorly-planned advocacy campaign, because it doesn't reach out to those that PERFORM the unwanted behavior, but rather cultivates a community among those that already disapprove of the usage of "that's so gay." It has good results for LGBT/allied communities, fostering feelings of accomplishment, but doesn't really change the undesired behavior among the target audience--those that say that things are "gay." I would be very interested in seeing independent external evaluation results of the campaign.
Also, I strongly suggest people look at Penny Arcade's take on the matter, I think it sums up the hetero-centric, popular (NOT LGBT advocate) response quite well, and it's hilarious.
link less
Also, I strongly suggest people look at Penny Arcade's take on the matter, I think it sums up the hetero-centric, popular (NOT LGBT advocate) response quite well, and it's hilarious.
link less
09/27/2011
Quote:
For me it is on a case by case basis. Sometimes it can offend me, sometimes it doesn't.
Originally posted by
Sweet-Justice
Does anyone find that when people use "Gay" as a negative way to address something its offensive?
09/30/2011
I love gays and being in a all gay school its made me very open to the subject. I do not think its offensive unless its said in a hateful way.
10/01/2011
It's just plain irritating to hear someone say that. I don't like it and find it sophomoric.
10/06/2011
I'm pansexual, but I prefer women really. I worked a gay bar for a few months and I'm very involved in my local pride community. I used to not be irritated by it, but now I am. Mostly because it's being used in a negative light, and I often find that it is spoken by people who are prejudiced to gays (in my experience)
10/08/2011
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This is actually my biggest "Soap box" with my friends. They understand why its inappropriate to say and they really try not to. Its similar to in younger culture how kids say "You got raped!" when referring to pretty much anything. That really hits me harder than "That's so gay" ever will.
Originally posted by
Sweet-Justice
Does anyone find that when people use "Gay" as a negative way to address something its offensive?
10/13/2011
Besides the fact that I'm offended by people saying gay = bad, I'm annoyed in general when people sum up a bad situation with 'well THAT'S (insert catch-all adjective here)'. They're basically just saying 'this is bad' without talking about why it's bad, or what can be done to change it, or anything more complex then 'ehh I don't like it'.
On the other hand, I say 'awwr, that sucks ' a lot when listening to my friends talk about their problems, so I'm basically doing the same thing I guess. Calling people out for being bland and oversimplifying things would be pretty hypocritical of me :/
On the other hand, I say 'awwr, that sucks ' a lot when listening to my friends talk about their problems, so I'm basically doing the same thing I guess. Calling people out for being bland and oversimplifying things would be pretty hypocritical of me :/
10/15/2011
it is offensive but many people still use it
10/18/2011
Doesn't bother me, just as much as "That's so lame" wouldn't bother me if I couldn't walk.
10/18/2011
When people say it around me, I don't find it offensive and it doens't bother me very much, but I try my best to never say it. You never know who it may offend, and since it has the potential to hurt someone, it's better to just avoid the phrase.
10/18/2011
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*grins* My thoughts exactly.
Originally posted by
Eden C.
Unless you literally mean, "That's so homosexual," then it's offensive.
10/18/2011
It doesn't offend me, but I never say it because it is simply not nice and shouldn't be used that way.
10/18/2011
I am not gay myself, but I find it offensive. When people say "That's so gay." They should be saying instead, "That's stupid." When they substitute gay for stupid, it seems that they are implying gay=stupid. And even indirectly implying that being gay is stupid, is offensive.
10/18/2011
It's commonly said in our society. I personally don't get offended by it but I know some do. A lot of people say it without trying to offend another person; it's just one word of many people have grown up with.
10/19/2011
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That's how it is for my girlfriend. She grew up with her brothers being super homophobic and saying "you're such a faggot." "stop being gay.' and such around her, so when something she thinks is stupid or bad or silly or whatever, she says "that's gay." or "gay!" a lot. She's a lesbian and the phrase and word just gets used outside of the negative-to-homosexual s context for her. She doesn't say it a lot, just sometimes.
Originally posted by
Hidden
It's commonly said in our society. I personally don't get offended by it but I know some do. A lot of people say it without trying to offend another person; it's just one word of many people have grown up with.
10/19/2011