Butch/Femme

Contributor: gingernicole gingernicole
How do you feel about the butch/femme dichotomy? Do you think it's still a think? Do you identify as butch or femme? Are you only attracted to butches/femmes?
06/30/2011
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Contributor: Spoken Pandora Spoken Pandora
Quote:
Originally posted by gingernicole
How do you feel about the butch/femme dichotomy? Do you think it's still a think? Do you identify as butch or femme? Are you only attracted to butches/femmes?
I identify as femme and I prefer butches. I don't mind the labels much but find that they have evolved over the years into many subcategories.
07/10/2011
Contributor: RainbowOokami RainbowOokami
Quote:
Originally posted by gingernicole
How do you feel about the butch/femme dichotomy? Do you think it's still a think? Do you identify as butch or femme? Are you only attracted to butches/femmes?
my girlfriend says I'm a femme (o.O) I personally prefer butches not over the top but a soft butch is my type
07/15/2011
Contributor: Eva Schwaltz Eva Schwaltz
I'm more of a femme and definitely attracted to butch women.
07/18/2011
Contributor: CamelliaGirl CamelliaGirl
I'm a total femme but I love girls all over the gender presentation spectrum. My first kiss was a cute punky femme, my first girlfriend very androgynous. But basically, gender is hot to me. Whether it's a girl putting on her lipstick or a girl knotting a tie to go with her tailored suit.

So, it's definitely still a thing to me, but a more elastic thing?
10/23/2011
Contributor: Rawhide Rawhide
Butch here, looooooove femmes but I keep an open mind
10/23/2011
Contributor: Curves Curves
I am more femme, and I'm attracted to femmes.
10/31/2011
Contributor: PassionCpl PassionCpl
I'm married & femme and definitely prefer other femme girls.
11/10/2011
Contributor: Tess Tess
Quote:
Originally posted by gingernicole
How do you feel about the butch/femme dichotomy? Do you think it's still a think? Do you identify as butch or femme? Are you only attracted to butches/femmes?
labels are always tricky, but I identify as femme and I love my woman to be the capable and stong kind which has ended up with me having a thing for the butch look I guess. That said, I am open minded... it's more about what she can do that how she looks
11/12/2011
Contributor: jessi2 jessi2
I consider myself a chapstick lesbian.. lol not a lipstick. And my partner has gotten more butchy since we have been together, but she started off more androgynous. I am attracted to personalities rather than physical appearance.
11/14/2011
Contributor: mudpie mudpie
I really dislike the dichotomy. I'm femmey but that doesn't really describe my personality or identity (I never got identified as particularly feminine until I was in a large, varied queer community where nail polish, heels and lipstick set me apart). I've been with women who would probably be identified as butch and as femme. I don't think it needs to be such a big deal.
11/15/2011
Contributor: Nerdydyke Nerdydyke
Quote:
Originally posted by gingernicole
How do you feel about the butch/femme dichotomy? Do you think it's still a think? Do you identify as butch or femme? Are you only attracted to butches/femmes?
I personally am not a fan of the binary of butch or femme. I identify as androgynous. Most of the women I date or play with are butch, androgynous, bois, masters, ect with the occasional femme.

I know a few butches who will only date other butches, femmes who only date femmes, ect. As far as I'm concerned, it's just another form of gender expression that's just emphasized in our community.
11/17/2011
Contributor: Katelyn Katelyn
I identify as a femme but I am attractive to both butches and femmes.
12/05/2011
Contributor: cryinglightning86 cryinglightning86
I don't really think too much of the dichotomy. If someone is comfortable with the label, then they should roll with it. I have both butch and femme friends that proudly call themselves by those names. It only becomes a problem when it's applied where it doesn't fit. For instance, I don't like being called butch. I don't feel like it matches my gender identity, at least not with my understanding of the term. I'm not trans*, but I don't exactly feel like a woman, and most of the "butch" women I've met seem to still strongly identify as women. For myself, I like the term "boi" better.

That being said, I like everyone. Butch, femme, whatever.
07/12/2012
Contributor: Billie Bones Billie Bones
I think its more of a spectrum. I identify as a soft butch.
07/12/2012
Contributor: quantumspork quantumspork
I'm pretty femme, leaning towards hard femme, and sometimes I enjoy wearing suits as well. I'm attracted to the whole spectrum, although I currently favor other femmes.
07/12/2012
Contributor: ginainohio ginainohio
i am fem and i prefer the butch female
07/14/2012
Contributor: Katelyn Katelyn
Quote:
Originally posted by Spoken Pandora
I identify as femme and I prefer butches. I don't mind the labels much but find that they have evolved over the years into many subcategories.
I see a lot of evolution. I identify as queer but more and more often as a femme dom or something of the sort : )
07/14/2012
Contributor: Equae Equae
I'm butch, and am attracted nearly exclusively to butches. If a butch and a femme are perfect for each other, though, to each their own.
07/19/2012
Contributor: thisisadeletedaccount thisisadeletedaccount
I'm butch, though I love wearing femme drag on occasion. I've never dated another butch, but I think I could do so happily. I'm currently in a poly triad with two femmes.
07/20/2012
Contributor: ghalik ghalik
I range from chapstick lesbian to soft butch. I usually prefer chapstick lesbian to stone butch. In other words, equal or greater butchness is good. I love femmes but I'm not very attracted to them usually.
07/20/2012
Contributor: freud13 freud13
I don't think too much of the dichotomy. I am more of a fluid person and tend to date people who don't get caught up in the whole butch/femme labels. I mostly date trans guys and other women who identify as queer or pansexual. I respect that other people identify that way but it's just not a label I use for myself.
07/20/2012
Contributor: ButchAndFemme ButchAndFemme
As our screenname proudly displays, my wife and I absolutely fall into the roles of butch and femme. She has dated a few girls that are close to middle of the spectrum, but she has made it clear she could never seriously date a femme. Similarly, I could never date or even sleep with a butch lesbian. I'm close to stone butch in bed, so I don't even want to think about how that would work in bed.

I think the more you're with someone who identifies on one side of the spectrum or the other, the more you fall into the opposite role.
07/21/2012
Contributor: StrapOnStud StrapOnStud
Quote:
Originally posted by gingernicole
How do you feel about the butch/femme dichotomy? Do you think it's still a think? Do you identify as butch or femme? Are you only attracted to butches/femmes?
I identify with butch/stud lesbian. I date femmes. For some reason I'm attracted to more aggressive females than submissive. Of course I still wear the boxers(at least I tend to think I still do)
07/26/2012
Contributor: aluminummm aluminummm
I identify as a queer hard femme. I find that I'm attracted to people of various genders and presentations fairly equally, but I've got it super bad for other hard femmes.

I think the dichotomy is complicated. It can be beautiful and celebratory but it can sometimes be exclusive and rigid.
08/09/2012
Contributor: novanilla novanilla
I think it's okay to use those words to identify one's self and I identify as a femme. However, I also really like using words like soft butch, femme dyke, etc.
08/11/2012
Contributor: fernwehh fernwehh
Quote:
Originally posted by gingernicole
How do you feel about the butch/femme dichotomy? Do you think it's still a think? Do you identify as butch or femme? Are you only attracted to butches/femmes?
I consider myself a femme in most senses and I mostly like other femmes actually! I have been attracted to alllll sorts though and I really like that there are so many variations on the butch/femme roles, it makes it much more fun and nuanced.
08/27/2012
Contributor: smlove smlove
I'm kind of a soft-butch. I'll wear boots under my dresses. pretty underwear under my cargo shorts and wife-beaters. makeup sometimes when I feel like it. but I mostly wear masculine-type clothing.
I think there always needs to be a balance of masculine and feminine energy. and it can manifest itself in an indefinite amount of ways, but there does always seem to be that balance. but it's the energy, not necessarily the gender, or how someone identifies that matters.
08/29/2012