The New Intimacy

Do you use dental dams?

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Contributor: oliverHyde oliverHyde
I keep running into women who have oral sex with multiple women without dental dams. This is really weird because most of my close fellow lady-loving friends are extremely safe-sex conscious. My friends generally consider unprotected sex a hard-limit, but some of the new ladies I've been talking to hadn't even heard of a dental dam!

It's not like they'd just come out either. They had all been active in the community for a while.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Yes, all the time.
6
Most of the time, occasionally I slip.
4
Some of the time/when I remember.
4
Rarely.
19
Never
125
I use a different method of protection.
4
I'm in a long-term, fluid-bonded relationship and don't need protection.
126
What's a dental dam?
17
Total votes: 305 (249 voters)
Poll is closed
09/14/2009
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Contributor: Femme Mystique Femme Mystique
I always think that is interesting and disconcerting.
09/14/2009
Contributor: Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady
When I started having sex with women, my ob/gyn told me there was no need for dental dams because I "couldn't get" anything that way. What a dumbass he was.

Now I use gloves and don't perform/receive oral sex unless I am in a fluid-bonded relationship. It's just easier that way, and if she doesn't get it she's out.
09/14/2009
Contributor: oliverHyde oliverHyde
Quote:
Originally posted by Not Here Anymore f/k/a Happy Lady
When I started having sex with women, my ob/gyn told me there was no need for dental dams because I "couldn't get" anything that way. What a dumbass he was.

Now I use gloves and don't perform/receive oral sex unless I am in ... more
I've heard a lot of ob/gyns say that. When I told mine that I had been using dental dams she had to ask me what they were.
09/14/2009
Contributor: Ciao. Ciao.
I've definitely heard of dental dams, but being in a monogamous relationship for 8 years it's not really a big deal. Certainly if I was involved with multiple female partners I would want to use dental dams with them.
09/14/2009
Contributor: deceased deceased
Unless I 've been in a long term relationship with someone who is monogomous and just went to the gyn and was tested for everything ( afew years ago I even did my own throat cultures on partners, etc) the dam is used. You never know. Especially with bi women. Who wants oral chlamydia or hepatitis or hpv or something hiding in their fluids.Fucking someone without protection is like fucking everyone they have ever fucked too.I get enough bacteria at work or in the gym on the weight benches that haven't been washed since 1971, I like my sex sanitized. They should even brush their teeth and scrape their tongue (I do) before sex. The oral cavity is a the opening to the body's digestive system-like the opening of a sewer. I'd rather be safe than sorry.
09/14/2009
Contributor: oliverHyde oliverHyde
Quote:
Originally posted by deceased
Unless I 've been in a long term relationship with someone who is monogomous and just went to the gyn and was tested for everything ( afew years ago I even did my own throat cultures on partners, etc) the dam is used. You never know. Especially ... more
I think people forget how dirty our mouths are. I mean, many of us clean our toys all the time even if we're not sharing them but we wouldn't think twice about going down before washing up.
Kind of like sterilizing a fork and then eating dinner off of the floor.

I wonder how many cases of BV or candidia are started that way.
09/15/2009
Contributor: SummerICE SummerICE
I have been told saran wrap is the next best thing...no joke!
10/20/2009
Contributor: Owl Identified Owl Identified
I'm going to be honest, I absolutely never use dental dams, nor have I ever. I've been told by many sexual health professionals (including gyns) that it is far less likely that I will contract anything with a female partner (I am also a female). Dental dams totally kill the mood. I'll take my chances!
10/20/2009
Contributor: oliverHyde oliverHyde
Quote:
Originally posted by SummerICE
I have been told saran wrap is the next best thing...no joke!
me2, it's so much easier to feel through it
You have to make sure it's not the microwavable kind though (they have tiny holes in them)
10/20/2009
Contributor: Serendipity Serendipity
Quote:
Originally posted by SummerICE
I have been told saran wrap is the next best thing...no joke!
Saran wrap works much better for me. Dental dams have to be held in place and stretched taut when my hands could be doing so much other, better stuff!. Dental dams are also expensive.
12/20/2009
Contributor: Serendipity Serendipity
Quote:
Originally posted by deceased
Unless I 've been in a long term relationship with someone who is monogomous and just went to the gyn and was tested for everything ( afew years ago I even did my own throat cultures on partners, etc) the dam is used. You never know. Especially ... more
I am pretty sure I have heard that one should NOT brush their teeth or scrape their tongue just prior to having sex as you may cause skin breakage/bleeding of gums that could leave you or your partner much more open to receiving bacterias / STIs.

I guess if you are using a barrier that should eliminate that risk, however I just thought I should mention it.
12/20/2009
Contributor: Kestrel Kestrel
Haven't used dental dams yet, but I'll probably start using them with casual partners unless she would find it a dealbreaker.
12/23/2009
Contributor: Beetle Beetle
Quote:
Originally posted by Serendipity
I am pretty sure I have heard that one should NOT brush their teeth or scrape their tongue just prior to having sex as you may cause skin breakage/bleeding of gums that could leave you or your partner much more open to receiving bacterias / ... more
I've heard the same thing. It's a bit of a high risk increase, doing so without a dental dam.
12/28/2009
Contributor: Lynk Lynk
I don't use them, but I am married and both my wife and I were tested for everything early on in our relationship. We are completely monogamous, so there is no issue of multiple partners or casual sex.

Honestly, I do not like the protection available when it comes to sex with a woman (gloves, dental dams, etc...).

However, I don't find that an issue since I can't have sex with someone I don't have a deep comittment to. And if I am going to invest myself in a relationship with someone and choose to have sex with them, I am also going to make sure that we are both tested for EVERYHTING, before sex occurs. Any responsible adult should understand that reasoning, and I think that is one of the safest ways to go, providing your partner is not a cheater.
02/01/2010
Contributor: koe1234 koe1234
I can't help wondering if people would use them more if they were readily available. After all, all you have to do to find condoms is walk down the aisle at any drug store, and these days you can even find "vibrating rings" right next to the trojans.

But even here in NYC, I have to go to a specialty store to get dental dams and gloves.
02/12/2010
Contributor: Alika Alika
I've only ever "been with" two girls.

"Casey" had been tested, I was a virgin and had never engaged in any risky behavior (still haven't actually). Our sex was kind of spontaneous, but I did know that she was clean, and knew I was too.

"Megan" kind of pressured me into having sex with her. We didn't go all the way. I felt more emotionally guilty than concerned about my physical health.

I now know I'm clean, and would practice safe sex with any other persons except Casey. I'm still in love with her, and if she ever quit men (whom she has safe sex with) I'd be elated to have her back. She gets tested regularly and I firmly believe she'd tell me if she wasn't clean.

But she's the type that flirts with girls, but has relationship with guys... unfortunately for me...

LOL
Alika
03/03/2010
Contributor: censtardancer censtardancer
i've been waiting a long time to hook up with that special someone... someone who uses dental dams because they think they're hot. i'd love to meet that person. personally i really don't like them, and while i think i've used them a few times, i mostly choose to not have fluid exchange in casual relationships but to engage in it in relationships with people i know well and am emotionally committed to. interestingly, most of the people i know who are most educated/educators about safer sex don't use them.
03/06/2010
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
never, but I would if needed.
03/06/2010
Contributor: Liz2 Liz2
I have used a dental dam but I made it using a condom I cut the tip off and then slit it open. It works, but dental dams are difficult to hold in place overall once an orgasm is imminent.
03/06/2010
Contributor: joaniedark joaniedark
I'm fluid bonded to my girlfriend, so it's not an issue with us except for oral-anal contact. Anyone else I've been involved with I haven't partaken in any activities requiring dental dams, though I keep them on hand in case.
04/09/2010
Contributor: Brosia Brosia
I don't use them nowadays (being fluid bonded), but I was a big fan of the dam before I settled down. Sadly, I also found myself having to explain what one was.
05/23/2010
Contributor: PassionQT PassionQT
What is "fluid-bonded"? I kind of get the gist, but it's a new term to me.
07/27/2010
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
Quote:
Originally posted by PassionQT
What is "fluid-bonded"? I kind of get the gist, but it's a new term to me.
Fluid Bonded means you are in a relationship with someone with whom bodily fluids are shared with no issue. Most fluid bonded relationships are long term, committed relationships.

Examples of "fluid Bonding" can be a man ejaculating in a woman without a condom, a woman accepting semen from a man without a condom, either orally, anally or otherwise, a man giving a woman oral sex without a dental damn, a woman giving an other woman oral sex without a dam, a man exchanging semen with an other man, either orally or anally etc.
09/07/2010
Contributor: Jenniae09 Jenniae09
I am not going to lie I've heard of them, but never really saw a great concern for them since I know the history of most all of my partners I've been with in long relationships. Plus I would not know how to operate it and don't think it would be the same. It's probably me being scared of the unknowing. Also I hang out with a lot of guy friends and all I hear is jokes about them so I didn't even know people were serious about using them until recently...
09/07/2010
Contributor: Madeira Madeira
I'm in a fluid bonded relationship with my partner, and we use dental dams with partner's we don't know the sexual history of and seriously trust.
09/15/2010
Contributor: Tisbury Tisbury
Never used them. Both my partner and I are tested and we're pretty much good. We're monogamous so we're good
09/16/2010
Contributor: Envy Envy
Never used them, but am fluid bonded with only one partner and it's long term, so no worries there.
09/16/2010
Contributor: queertastic queertastic
Quote:
Originally posted by oliverHyde
I keep running into women who have oral sex with multiple women without dental dams. This is really weird because most of my close fellow lady-loving friends are extremely safe-sex conscious. My friends generally consider unprotected sex a ... more
My OB/GYN also told me I didn't need to use protection. Umm...what the f*ck?!

I've never used a dental dam but I do have quite the collection - including those of different colors and flavors. =)
10/19/2010
Contributor: blissfulqueen blissfulqueen
I'm in a fluid-bonded monogamous relationship with a woman. We were both tested before we did anything, but we were still committed to each other. We went to the GYN and got tested together - and opened our results together. Both of us had just gotten out of long term committed relationships - no screwing around. But we wanted to be more safe than sorry, as you never know wit STDs/STIs in women -- it can go unnoticed for years without any symptoms.
10/24/2010