Forum highlights on Strap on dildo:

RodeOH Underwear.
Has anyone ever purchased one of their panty harnesses and only used it as underwear? Because they look really comfortable

La Strap On double strap harness vs. Jaguar
Anyone have first had experience with both of these harnesses? Quality of leather of each? Craftsmanship and quality of assembly? Notes on use?

Fun ways you dominate or are dominated?
Hi guys, Im just curious to know how many lesbian couples out there take part in BDSM sexual adventures. If you happen to do so, what are some fun...

Undies or No?
I'm curious as to how many of my fellow ladies wear undies underneath their harnesses. I find that it depends on if I've recently shaved (skin tends..

Anyone else have the bullet for this not work properly?
My bullet for this turns on as soon as I put one out of the 3 watch like batteries in this thing. I can't turn off the bullet without taking the...

I'm not an expert on the standards of the lesbian community at large, but my experience from the general queer community would be that while strapons are pretty "vanilla" fisting is still a slightly more fringe activity. I don't know if everyone would consider it BDSM, but it's definitely kinkier than vanilla.

As a kinky queer person I don't think I'm the best judge, though I do enjoy those activities!

I think its harder to define vanilla or kink within the LGBT community in general since while there's been major strides in LGBT acceptance arguably to a majority if the world, anything we do is outside of the hetero norm so... With that said, neither of these activities are in and of themselves BDSM regardless of who practices them (lesbians, straight couples, male on male fisting...) because BDSM is often a lifestyle or when done on,y inside of the bedroom it might be better described less by specific acts and more by the style of them, if that makes sense. Even plain "vanilla" oral could be BDSM if say one partner is taking a dominant role and instructing the other or using the oral sex as a reward in some come of rewards and punishment system. I hope that makes at least some sense.

I would also say amongst lesbians I personally know, strap ons are probably less commonly used by lesbians than people think. There's that hetero normative type thought that it isn't sex unless there is penetration so people seem to instant connect lesbians and strap ons. Some women hate penetration and would never do any form of it. Perhaps that hetero normative view is also somewhat why you asked this question. Some straight folks would not consider hands or toys to even be "real" sex.

Anyway with all that said, I completely agree with the above that strap one are considerably more common than fisting. Fisting is definitely more "kink" though if anything if its something that is generally done slowly (often literally trained for sometimes over months before a woman can take a whole fist), is very intense, and takes a great deal of trust in your partner. And I suppose there's definitely a possible power play dynamic with either fisting or strap on sex but arguably in most instances of sex one person is more in control than the other (at least some of the time, though they may switch) so power play or having one partner be more dominant isn't necessarily BDSM.

Maybe this is just how my mind works, I would argue any "vanilla" act could be turned kinky or into BDSM or vice versa and I'm not particularly find of the word or idea of vanilla because I think sex is more nuanced than that and there's so many different angles (no pun intended) that things can be taken from...