FTM and MTF as partners.

FTM and MTF as partners.

Maxx Maxx
Im currently an FTM and I have a fiancé that I have been with over 2 years now. Ive always been the 'butch' but I just sat her down about a year ago and explained how I truly felt about my body. As you can see, she is still here. Never left my side. Though, I scared still. She never shows her emotion so at times I cant tell how she feels about the situation. She got with me because she was sick of men and now Im trying to be one. I feel bad but at the same time I dont know what to feel. She is the love of my life and I cant imagine losing her. I want your opinion. If you have been or are with someone who is transgender, how do you feel about it? Explain why. I just want to understand better.
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
I have never been with someone who is trasgender
10
I have been with someone who is transgender
4
I am currently with someone who is transgender
6
I want to be with someone who is transgender
5
I dont want to be with someone who is transgender
I feel confused
sad
1
angry
1
depressed
happy
7
scared
1
excited
2
nervous
2
other
4
Total votes: 43 (20 voters)
Poll is closed
12/06/2011
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Chirple Chirple
All I can say is that you two should talk about it. I assume you have to *some* degree ?

Ask her if she feels upset or betrayed or anything else negative. Open that conversation, you've gotta be able to talk about it.

How much have you talked about it ? Have you explained to her what you, personally, plan on doing in order to transition ? Ask her how she feels about those things, individually and as a whole.

I know that discovering yourself and coming out can open up new behaviours and ways of being, but are you as a person really changing all that much ? Has she noticed changes in behaviour / personality ? How does she feel about them ?

A lot of women who are not comfortable with a cisgender man might be comfortable with an FTM. Not because they see you as "a girl", but because they know you're a man who has the experience of knowing what it was like to be raised and treated like a woman by society. Is this true for all women and do all FTM actually have that experience ? Of course not - but it's one fairly common reaction I've seen.

Everyone's situation is different.
12/06/2011
eroticmutt eroticmutt
I have never been in a relationship with someone who is transgender, but I believe that the fact she stayed with you shows a lot. She knows you for who you are as a person and perhaps that is more important to her than the masculine traits she typically tries to avoid.
12/06/2011
Snozzberries Snozzberries
I agree with ExquisiteSensations - I think falling in love with the person rather than the gender is what matters, so if she's staying, she loves you for who you are. But definitely have a discussion.
12/06/2011
nori nori
I've fallen for a ftm boy, and we split up, and after crushing on a few different people, I started falling for this beautiful transwoman.

I put down excited and nervous, because it's something I haven't dealt with before. Excited because it's a new relationship, nervous because i know she's hit with dysphoria a lot more than my ex did.
12/07/2011
Maxx Maxx
I thank everyone for the answers. They really helped. Im ust scared of losing her.
12/07/2011
JGrey JGrey
I never been with transgendered person - but i would not have a problem with it
12/08/2011
neon neon
I would get into couples counseling if she has trouble expressing her emotions. I believe being as open as possible will lead you to happiness and will be very important will all of the changes.
12/10/2011
Silverdrop Silverdrop
I would be open to being in a relationship with transgender person, but there are so many other factors that would be important than the state of my partner's genitals. Their mindset and how mentally healthy they were about their transition would be critical. Being in perfect mental health isn't something that would be fair to ask of anyone, but being in a rut of depression and refusing to get help would be a dealbreaker.

I wish you the best of luck, and remember that, even though it feels like you couldn't live without her, and I hope you don't have to, please understand that if a breakup happens, you will be okay, and so will she.
12/14/2011
Girly Girl Girly Girl
it´s ok all humans are children´s of god
12/14/2011
David Troll David Troll
Thats all makes sense. I dont even know what to say. I read them all and everything I was going to tell you is already here. Just follow your heart.
12/14/2011
RonLee RonLee
My partner is and I feel quite lucky to have met her.
12/14/2011
mutewolf mutewolf
My partner is FTM and I absolutely adore the shit out of him. I tend to forget that he's not biologically male and both of us have moments where we go 'oh, right' and laugh it off and move on. We've been together a year now, he's met my family and I hope to spend many more years with him. Anyways, my point is that we only got here through lots and lots of communication. About how he feels, about how I feel, about anything and everything. I also have come to realize that I love my partner for who he is rather than what he looks like. I hope your partner does too and remembers that the outside of a person doesn't change who they are inside.
12/21/2011
Nanuk Nanuk
My ex wanted me to change now they identify as ftm..... fuck
05/06/2012
Nanuk Nanuk
(Im ftm as well)
05/06/2012
Nanuk Nanuk
I say you and your partner need to have a talk about this and just be honest. I wish you the best man
05/06/2012
Total posts: 16
Unique posters: 13