Passing...

Passing...

P3ngu1n78 P3ngu1n78
Why do we try?
04/06/2012
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hatman hatman
...Because it lowers instances of dysphoria? At least, that's what it is for me, I think. Also the whole "I want people to see me as I see myself". I'm confused as to the direction you're going for here. Like, are you having trouble passing or are frustrated that you even have to try?
04/07/2012
TransMarc TransMarc
1. Because society is superficial and won't ask you your gender (I wish people would just ask when first meeting me!) or laugh at you when you say what you are, especially if you are agender or non-binary or look feminine as a man, masculine as a woman if it is not how you were born;
2. Because it lowers dysphoria, though if you don't pass to others it can make it worst;
3. For some, what they do for passing is dressing and acting how they wanted to act in childhood without being told they can't because [sexist, cissexist affirmation here] which relates a bit to 2.
04/07/2012
MasonM MasonM
Quote:
Originally posted by P3ngu1n78
Why do we try?
For me it's about confidence. I feel more confident when seen as a male (which I am).

Currently I don't pass, but I'm trying. I feel a lot better when I put my binder on. The fact that I'm just making people pause to take a second look before they decide on a gender moniker is a huge boost to my self confidence.
04/07/2012
TheParrishism TheParrishism
I am for it because doing so makes me more comfortable. It also gets me treated the way I want to be treated.
04/07/2012
catsin catsin
Quote:
Originally posted by TransMarc
1. Because society is superficial and won't ask you your gender (I wish people would just ask when first meeting me!) or laugh at you when you say what you are, especially if you are agender or non-binary or look feminine as a man, masculine as a ...
I think it's complicated when you factor in that people will treat a person differently depending on their gender. It's not always intentional, more often subconscious. I believe that this subconscious behavior is a large part of why it's important for people to pass.

Guys that treat me like I'm a woman usually get discredited in my mind (and I notice their varied behavior towards me depending how I'm dressed on a certain day). I might one day switch to gender neutral pronouns to try and alleviate behavioral discrepancies... I'm just not ready for the stress of such a thing at this time in my life.

Your number one example is exactly why I don't go by gender neutral pronouns.
I dress depending on my mood. Sometimes it's strictly masculine and sometime very feminine. Because of this, it's just easiest and less stressful to go with fem pronouns.

Oh, society, I had such hopes for you as a child.
04/07/2012
Voir Voir
I don't particularly care if I "pass" to the general public or not... people don't really approach me about things and I'm a bit of a confrontational person so if/when I get weird looks (etc etc) I return them and/or do something else equally as antagonistic e_e and they just drop the subject and look away and walk off.

Although I have been taken as male and do enjoy it when people see me as such (if they even talk to me) I don't base my happiness around it. So long as I feel comfortable and confident in what I'm wearing and how I look everyone else can stfu
04/07/2012
kmilly kmilly
i "pass" for myself. no, i don't like it when people misgender me. but i'm not worried so much about being read as male. i have severe dysphoria. i work so hard to pass so i can lessen it. maybe there is some degree of wanting to be seen as just another guy. but mostly, it's because i see these guys that i wish i could look like. i get dysphoric, and i try to emulate that so i can feel comfortable.

if i'm bound, packing, and lowering my voice, i don't get called ma'am. it's that simple. i can't stand being misgendered or read as female. i hate it. i may not be seen as a guy. i don't know. sir isn't usually used, either. but i'd rather people be confused than see me as a chick. hopefully after i start t (two weeks), i'll be passing better and feeling less dysphoric.
04/07/2012
Chirple Chirple
Many reasons.

Personally, I don't WANT to look female even if I was living entirely alone and never had to see another human being ever again.

I identified as neutrois for a while, but I've come to realise that I was trying to compromise in how I would ideally like to present myself to the world (certainly not saying this is the case for all who identify as neutrois - this was just my situation).

It's certainly not a traditional or uber-manly thing I'm going for - but I see a physical, base-body me that is distinctly masculine in form.

I'm currently planning on going on testosterone for at least 3-6months to lower my voice. It kills me to hear my voice. I feel uncomfortable talking to my friends on the phone. It doesn't "pass" to my internal standards. It's not a voice I identify as my own and it's upsetting.

It's okay to be non-binary. But there's no wrong or right for anyone. Some people DO want to be clearly identified as male with no question - and there's nothing wrong with that. Some people don't, and that's okay too.
04/08/2012
K101 K101
Passing? Passing what? Passing on? Passing away? Passing by? Passing a class?

Sorry. No sleep and I am confused.
04/08/2012
catsin catsin
Quote:
Originally posted by K101
Passing? Passing what? Passing on? Passing away? Passing by? Passing a class?

Sorry. No sleep and I am confused.
Passing for preferred gender;
being accepted by strangers as that gender.

For instance FTM passing for male and MTF passing for female; certain gender fluid people who wish to pass in what gender they dress as at the time.
04/08/2012
TheParrishism TheParrishism
I like to pass because I get social dysphoria to the point where I won't leave my apartment. It helps me better associate with the world.
04/08/2012
SubmissiveFeminist SubmissiveFeminist
Not all do. I know a lot that don't try to pass as anything. Gender is fun like that.
04/10/2012
GONE! GONE!
Well, I try because I feel upset and anxious when people misgender me and since most people don't ask about what pronouns I prefer I feel like I have to make an effort to be read correctly if I want a chance at not being upset in public. Unfortunately, I have a baby face and no matter what I wear I get read as female-identified. I've been read as literally anything but male. I've even had people think I was a trans* woman.
04/10/2012
Rab Rab
because it feels so fucking good when the cashier calls me "sir" or when I walk in and out of a men's room unmolested
because it makes my head burn to feel people staring at me like they -know- something's not right with my gender and it makes my heart sink to get called "miss"
because it's what's right
04/10/2012
Schattenstern Schattenstern
It definitely is a confidence booster. Plus it's always fun to confuse people if you don't pass 100%?
04/19/2012
Total posts: 16
Unique posters: 14