Would you stay with your wife/husband if they chose to get a sex change?

Contributor: Diabolical Kitty Diabolical Kitty
I want to know if you'd stay with your wife/husband if they chose to get a sex change?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Yes
136  (49%)
No
87  (31%)
Maybe..explain
54  (19%)
Total votes: 277
Poll is closed
04/20/2011
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Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Repeat question - wasn't the first question adequate?
04/20/2011
Contributor: Joie de Cherresse Joie de Cherresse
Luckily, I don't think this is something I will ever have to worry about...
04/20/2011
Contributor: indiglo indiglo
I'm not sure how I would feel about it. I would definitely support him, because I love him... but at the same time I do not identify myself as someone sexually attracted to women, so I'm not sure that would work for our sex life.
04/20/2011
Contributor: Hot'n'Bothered Hot'n'Bothered
Quote:
Originally posted by indiglo
I'm not sure how I would feel about it. I would definitely support him, because I love him... but at the same time I do not identify myself as someone sexually attracted to women, so I'm not sure that would work for our sex life.
Ditto. Not sexually attracted to women so the only way it be an option would just be to have an open relationship.
04/20/2011
Contributor: cobiffle cobiffle
No way
04/20/2011
Contributor: Vaccinium Vaccinium
I'm about as open-minded as they come, but I really don't think I could. I'd support her every step of the way and I'd still love her regardless, but without the attraction (I'm attracted to femininity), I just don't see how I could be in love with her. If that's gone, I couldn't stay married.
04/20/2011
Contributor: CSEA CSEA
Quote:
Originally posted by Diabolical Kitty
I want to know if you'd stay with your wife/husband if they chose to get a sex change?
It would be a very drastic change, but hey, I could very easily be into girls
04/20/2011
Contributor: CSEA CSEA
Quote:
Originally posted by CSEA
It would be a very drastic change, but hey, I could very easily be into girls
This would really be a difficult question to answer
04/20/2011
Contributor: kawigrl kawigrl
it's easy for me to say yes but to be truthful I know transitioning isn't easy
04/21/2011
Contributor: tickle me pink tickle me pink
I've asked him this question several times, but I never really thought about it if the shoe was on the other foot. I love my husband with all my heart but if he got a sex change truth be told I just don't think I would be attracted to him anymore. We would probably separate but still remain good friends since I would never want to lose him completely from my life.
04/21/2011
Contributor: XzombehxbearzX XzombehxbearzX
Quote:
Originally posted by Diabolical Kitty
I want to know if you'd stay with your wife/husband if they chose to get a sex change?
Wait what? What is wrong with your loved one getting to the person they are meant to be they were born to be? IF and might I say IF! If your wife/husband realize they are transgender its not their fault its something from birth. IF your truly in love with them why would you leave them cause they want to become who they where born to be just weren't born in the right body? I thought love is supposed to be for the person on the inside not the outside and physical. What happened to true love for someone with who they are on the inside, why is everything based off physical?
04/23/2011
Contributor: Brosia Brosia
Absolutely! I fell in love with a person, not a pair of breasts or a vulva. I used to think that I'd have a problem with it, but then I actually found myself in that situation. My love of having a lesbian identity can't compare with the love I feel for my partner. And truth be told, it's pretty damn sexy to see this new person emerge.
04/23/2011
Contributor: Wondermom Wondermom
Quote:
Originally posted by Brosia
Absolutely! I fell in love with a person, not a pair of breasts or a vulva. I used to think that I'd have a problem with it, but then I actually found myself in that situation. My love of having a lesbian identity can't compare with the ... more
this, it helps that I am bi-sexual but I fell in love with my husband for who he is, not his penis.
05/02/2011
Contributor: zeebot zeebot
It would depend. If I knew they were thinking about it at a fairly early point in the relationship then I'd either deal with it or not, depending on how much I liked the person. If, however, it was a long-term relationship and this was something that I'd only just heard about, I'd wonder what else they'd been hiding from me.
05/03/2011
Contributor: k3 k3
I would love him no matter what, and even that would not make me give him up. <3 Buuut, I know it isn't something I would ever have to worry about. ^_^;
05/06/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
I think I could. It would honestly depend on whether or not they wanted me.
05/09/2011
Contributor: sexyk515 sexyk515
i don't know
05/09/2011
Contributor: Kayla Kayla
I would still stay with them with no problem. I suppose that's half the fun of being bisexual. It would be a very trying time though with all of the emotions and feelings around transitioning.
05/09/2011
Contributor: BSJ BSJ
There isn't much that I haven't either been through or witnessed in regards to this question. I have not undergone and don't ever want to undergo having a sex change. I live my daily life as a woman and that is how society treats me so I am content with being able to pee standing up. I have been on the flip-side to coin plenty of times so I will share a bit of my experience.

The vast majority of relationships end when someone comes out as transgender. Being transgender can include an entire spectrum of gender variants but since this poll is about sex changes that ups the ante a whole lot more. The fact that the non-transsexual partner is now in a gay/lesbian relationship is usually enough to make them break it off do to lack of interest as most people have already confirmed with their answers so far.

Love for one another can only go so far if you aren't able to be in the relationship 100%. Staying together only for the sake of love will, usually, end up in a more heartbreaking split than if the two were mature and honest with what they really wanted in a partner and simply went their own separate ways earlier. Been there, done it, learned from it and got the emotional scars to prove it.

As far as the hiding things and lying goes, yes it happens. It is more out of self-preservation due to the anxiety and fear that people will react negatively if they find out our little secret. The vast majority of closeted transsexuals would love to come out and be honest but they are scared as hell and so they hide it and lie to everyone including themselves. It isn't until they come out to those first initial people that they see how people will react. If it goes smooth and they aren't chastised then it becomes easier for them to tell others. On the other side, if they are demeaned in anyway they will crawl even deeper into their shell and may not ever be comfortable with who they are.

So being that I have gone through all of this and know what I know, how would I react if my significant other came out as being transsexual? I would end the relationship and remain good friends with that person. I would help where I could but the romance and intimacy would be gone. So you can chalk another vote for No.
05/09/2011
Contributor: BexvanKoot BexvanKoot
While I would definitely support my spouse if he decided to engage a more fluid gender, I don't think I could stay through HRT and irrevocable surgery, unless there were very serious advances in reproductive/genital surgery in the near future. I believe in everyone's right to do as they please with their own body, but I don't understand the drive to cut the body in search of an unattainable ideal (and that applies to ANY kind of plastic or cosmetic surgery, honestly, with the possible exception of the re-constructive kind). That's just me and my opinion on the matter, though.
05/09/2011
Contributor: luvendia luvendia
Quote:
Originally posted by Diabolical Kitty
I want to know if you'd stay with your wife/husband if they chose to get a sex change?
i say if that person wants a sex change then that person needs to be alone for a while to figure things out so nobody gets hurt
05/09/2011
Contributor: luvendia luvendia
Quote:
Originally posted by Joie de Cherresse
Luckily, I don't think this is something I will ever have to worry about...
you and me both
05/09/2011
Contributor: luvendia luvendia
that choice has its ups and downs it depends on your spouse is he/she a freak? does that turn the other person on or not
05/09/2011
Contributor: luvendia luvendia
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
I think I could. It would honestly depend on whether or not they wanted me.
that's deep but a good answer
05/09/2011
Contributor: luvendia luvendia
does that person want a sex change and want to stay with u or want the sex change and wants somebody else
05/09/2011
Contributor: Diabolical Kitty Diabolical Kitty
Wow, the answers have really shocked me. I didn't realize that people wouldn't be supportive enough.
05/09/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by BBW Talks Toys
I think I could. It would honestly depend on whether or not they wanted me.
Let me just clarify this by saying that being someone who likes both men and women, if my husband were to decide to switch genders, I would be accepting and would go through anything I needed to support him. IF he wanted to still be with me.

The idea that my husband would ever expand his mind regarding sexuality in general, let alone to the point of wanting to have his gender reassigned???? That's like saying.... well, I was going to say something like "I piss glitter" but seeing how absurd that notion is, it's more likely that I would piss glitter.
05/09/2011
Contributor: BBW Talks Toys BBW Talks Toys
Quote:
Originally posted by Diabolical Kitty
Wow, the answers have really shocked me. I didn't realize that people wouldn't be supportive enough.
I think, I could be wrong, but I think it's not that they wouldn't be supportive. You asked if they would stay. Changes of this magnitude, in the middle of a marriage, is likely to turn someone's world upside down. As some have said, "I'd wonder what else they were hiding." I can understand it from both sides.

Here comes some bla bla...

I've known I was bisexual since I was 15. I even told my husband as much when we met. BUT... in learning to deal with the aftermath of abuse, rape, infidelity, child, more infidelity, another child... I repressed my sexuality for a long time. Now that it's something that I think about again, now that it's something that is much more a part of who I am now, well, you'd think that I'd just told him that I was cheating on him or something. I'm trying to be patient while he processes, what he thinks of as, this "new information."

It's frustrating on both sides of the fence; and it takes a lot of work and commitment to stick it out. Some people are capable of that kind of work. Some people are honest and know what they can and cannot handle. Some people just simply know what they're attracted to.
05/09/2011
Contributor: ladiewithswagg1 ladiewithswagg1
hell no
05/09/2011