I would like to know what you think the “correct” identity term is for me. I would also like some advice on social situations.
I am attracted to women, men, and several others that fall “in-between.” I am most comfortable at gay clubs because, even though I am attracted to men, straight bars seem to be so full of pulsing male testosterone that I am usually very uncomfortable. When I do go out with the intention of meeting new people I am usually looking to meet a woman. I really have no trouble meeting men because I really love sports and outdoor activities so I find it easy to talk to men. It is extraordinarily hard for me to meet women.
The problem is that when I go out no one approaches me and when I do try to talk to people, either male or female, neither gender seems to understand that I am actually interested in that person. It's like both men and women think I am looking for the other gender. (If that makes sense. This is hard to explain now that I write it.) When I meet transgender people things go very well because they seem to understand that I don't need a specific identity to be worth their time for discussion.
When I go out, I dress up in my heels (usually sparkly), makeup, earrings, the whole deal. In fact, when I go out to local clubs I am usually dressed better than most other people. I say this meaning that I wear dress slacks or skirts when many people are wearing jeans. My hair is very short and I wear it with all it's wild curls and usually a pretty barrette.
I was in a situation this fall where I was told repeatedly by strangers that they just couldn't believe I am attracted to women because I “don't look gay.”
I live in East Tennessee where there is a VERY small GBLT community, and an even smaller amount of those people who are “out” as I am. The small-mindedness of this area perplexes me regularly.
I would really like to know that I'm not the only one out there who has these problems. I don't tell people I'm bisexual because I am attracted to transgender people all the time, but I'm finding it more and more necessary to have some word that describes what I am so people will stop quizzing me incessantly. I would also like to know what I can do to attract women when apparently I just “don't look gay enough.”
I am attracted to women, men, and several others that fall “in-between.” I am most comfortable at gay clubs because, even though I am attracted to men, straight bars seem to be so full of pulsing male testosterone that I am usually very uncomfortable. When I do go out with the intention of meeting new people I am usually looking to meet a woman. I really have no trouble meeting men because I really love sports and outdoor activities so I find it easy to talk to men. It is extraordinarily hard for me to meet women.
The problem is that when I go out no one approaches me and when I do try to talk to people, either male or female, neither gender seems to understand that I am actually interested in that person. It's like both men and women think I am looking for the other gender. (If that makes sense. This is hard to explain now that I write it.) When I meet transgender people things go very well because they seem to understand that I don't need a specific identity to be worth their time for discussion.
When I go out, I dress up in my heels (usually sparkly), makeup, earrings, the whole deal. In fact, when I go out to local clubs I am usually dressed better than most other people. I say this meaning that I wear dress slacks or skirts when many people are wearing jeans. My hair is very short and I wear it with all it's wild curls and usually a pretty barrette.
I was in a situation this fall where I was told repeatedly by strangers that they just couldn't believe I am attracted to women because I “don't look gay.”
I live in East Tennessee where there is a VERY small GBLT community, and an even smaller amount of those people who are “out” as I am. The small-mindedness of this area perplexes me regularly.
I would really like to know that I'm not the only one out there who has these problems. I don't tell people I'm bisexual because I am attracted to transgender people all the time, but I'm finding it more and more necessary to have some word that describes what I am so people will stop quizzing me incessantly. I would also like to know what I can do to attract women when apparently I just “don't look gay enough.”
