I hate giving plabels, it's not fair that we should all fit into boxes... but it sounds like pansexuality/omnisexua lity.

"Pansexuality, anthrosexuality (anthro- literally meaning human), or omnisexuality[1] is a sexual orientation characterized by the potential for aesthetic attraction, romantic love, or sexual desire for people, regardless of their gender identity or biological sex. Thus, pansexuality includes potential attraction to people who do not fit into the gender binary of male/female. Some pansexuals suggest that they are gender-blind; that gender and sex are insignificant or irrelevant in determining whether they will be sexually attracted to others.[2]" and yes, I just quoted wikipedia. less

I hate giving plabels, it's not fair that we should all fit into boxes... but it sounds like pansexuality/omnisexua lity.

"Pansexuality, anthrosexuality (anthro- literally meaning human), or omnisexuality[1] is a sexual orientation characterized by the potential for aesthetic attraction, romantic love, or sexual desire for people, regardless of their gender identity or biological sex. Thus, pansexuality includes potential attraction to people who do not fit into the gender binary of male/female. Some pansexuals suggest that they are gender-blind; that gender and sex are insignificant or irrelevant in determining whether they will be sexually attracted to others.[2]" and yes, I just quoted wikipedia. less

Amen to that, sister!

And yes, pansexual sounds about right. It used to be what I identified as until I decided to get rid of labels altogether.

So sorry to hear that you are having such problems! I grew up in a pretty small town, too. I was so pleased when I found no less than six other "queer" kids in my high school drama class. I've always been attracted to the ladies (as well as guys... and yes, a few who fall in between), but, just like in your situation, people are always shocked when they find out that "I like girls". I guess for me, part of the "problem" is that I am pretty feminine and I also belong to an ethnicity that is, in my hometown, at least, seen as a very conservative, asexual or straight and narrow minority. Obviously, these attributes are not things I can easily change (not that I want to!)

I think the best solution is just to keep being yourself, maybe try being a little more obvious/forward, and hope for the best. I obviously haven't had much experience in the hunt for potential new lovers, so I'm sorry that I can't help in that sense! less

I would like to know what you think the “correct” identity term is for me. I would also like some advice on social situations.


I am attracted to women, men, and several others that fall “in-between.” I am most comfortable at gay clubs because, even though I am attracted to men, straight bars seem to be so full of pulsing male testosterone that I am usually very uncomfortable. When I do go out with the intention of meeting new people I am usually looking to meet a woman. I really have no trouble meeting men because I really love sports and outdoor activities so I find it easy to talk to men. It is extraordinarily hard for me to meet women.


The problem is that when I go out no one approaches me and when I do try to talk to people, either male or female, neither gender seems to understand that I am actually interested in that person. It's like both men and women think I am looking for the other gender. (If that makes sense. This is hard to explain now that I write it.) When I meet transgender people things go very well because they seem to understand that I don't need a specific identity to be worth their time for discussion.


When I go out, I dress up in my heels (usually sparkly), makeup, earrings, the whole deal. In fact, when I go out to local clubs I am usually dressed better than most other people. I say this meaning that I wear dress slacks or skirts when many people are wearing jeans. My hair is very short and I wear it with all it's wild curls and usually a pretty barrette.


I was in a situation this fall where I was told repeatedly by strangers that they just couldn't believe I am attracted to women because I “don't look gay.”


I live in East Tennessee where there is a VERY small GBLT community, and an even smaller amount of those people who are “out” as I am. The small-mindedness of this area perplexes me regularly.


I would really like to know that I'm not the only one out there who has these problems. I don't tell people I'm bisexual because I am attracted to transgender people all the time, but I'm finding it more and more necessary to have some word that describes what I am so people will stop quizzing me incessantly. I would also like to know what I can do to attract women when apparently I just “don't look gay enough.” less

You are omnisexual.I had to adopt the term for myself .Only term I could think of that encompasses all 3 genders because I'm attracted to many different people regardless of them being female,male or like me caught somewhere in between.


Being transgender and in East Tennessee myself I can relate totally to how this area is about the GLBT community.It is small and having lived here over 10 years now I've only physically met 2 tg's here and I know theres quite a few more close .Most are like me very scared because of how this area views anyone thats a different from them.

As far as dressing goes do not overdress.This was one of the first things I was told about passing when I opted to explore my tg side.I'm sure the same rules apply to everyone regardless of gender.Just dress appropriately for the place you are going to and people will most likely approach you.


I think attracting the girls is more of you just finding the right one.I know many who adopt the more masculine look but I also know a few who unless you knew them you would never guess because they do not subscribe to any stereotype they are just themselves .

With transgender in general I can't speak for everyone only myself but I'm just glad to see anyone that treats me with honest respect and kindness as thats extremely rare .I think transgender people in general are more accepting of everyone without regard for gender or sexual preference. less

I was gonna say "Queer", but it looks like you already got there!

I call myself Queer when I'm not trying to pick up the person I'm talking to. When I am trying to indicate interest, I usually say Bi.

I find this important because I am married, so the normal assumption is that I'm straight, and if I say Queer, it's assumed that the ring on my finger means I am a married lesbian. (So actually, come to think of it, that's more a poly issue!)

I had a girlfriend that once said something that I always keep in mind - "Pansexual, Omnisexual....that's all totally awesome and I respect those specific attempts at labeling, and they make for great and fun discussion. But really, I just want to know if I have a chance of getting into your pants." less