A Day In The Life of Mr. Will

Contributor: MrWill MrWill
Once, in a land that was dry and hot.. Mr. Will arose from his glorious slumber. His old, soft, wolf blanket fell to the floor as he heard the noise of the minions already skittering around. Screams for food, screams for dry, clean, Pampers emanated from behind his dingy white door. As he pulled on his underwear, the same underwear he had wore the day before because he hadn't gotten to his laundry, he heard it. One of the children knocking vigorously at his door.

"What dost thou require little one?" Mr. Will sighed.

Clumsily, his feet fell.. clunk, clunk, "FUCK!" a stray Lego had wounded this man. Nonetheless, he trudged on. Grabbing the youngest of the hellspawn, he ushered the next oldest into the living room. Turning on the squawk box and seating them in front of the T.V., he headed into the kitchen and poured himself a 32 oz cup of the scalding hot Folgers.

Soon after, he was in the living room yet again. A horrid stench had overtaken the living room, and the young one was to blame. The previous nights green beans had purged the child's putrid poo factory.

Mr. Will quickly grabbed a diaper and a pack of wipes, and changed him whilst fighting the urge to vomit. In a matter of minutes the young child was diapered, clothed and shoed, ready to journey to daycare.

The middle child wouldn't be so easy, for she desired a Minnie Mouse pull-up, but alas.. there were none left in the package. The Sully pull-up would have to do.

Kicking and screaming, screaming and kicking in furious agony because Minnie Mouse wouldn't gird her little posterior, the child resisted.. an exercise in futility. Mr. Will pulled her to her feet, and pulled the pull up on her quickly. Next, her dress.. rapidly followed by her light up sandals.

The firstborn had already realized that this wasn't the morning to trifle with Mr. Will, for the coffee was too hot and he hadn't had his caffeine. She dressed herself, and while it wasn't perfect.. Mr. Will would choose his battles wisely this day.

Fast Forward 45 minutes
The two young ones are at daycare, and the firstborn sits at the table sucking down a bowl of cereal before taking her medicine. Mr. Will hops on Eden, and makes his rounds.. answering the the discussions that catch his eye, and ignoring the rest.

Then, an e-mail! Mr. Will had been accepted as an editor, and quickly started proofreading the first of many reviews to come. A mental battle with himself over it's versus its ensued. A quick consultation with the Oracle (google) sorted the problem out quickly, and Mr. Will soldiered through his allotment of 3 reviews quickly.

It was now time to work on homely cleaning issues. He grabbed the bent broom and started sweeping the floor, yet again. A few drags on the Dead Armadillo flavored e-cigarette, and then on to the dishes.>>>

(I'll finish it later, as that's where I am in my day :-P)
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Contributor: Ansley Ansley
OMGosh, man you weren't lyin' when you said hectic!!! Sheesh, and I thought my days were chaotic. Looking forward to hearing the rest!
Contributor: MrWill MrWill
Originally posted by Ansley
OMGosh, man you weren't lyin' when you said hectic!!! Sheesh, and I thought my days were chaotic. Looking forward to hearing the rest!
It has definitely been a day, and there are still approximately 6 hours left of stuff to do, but I will conquer the day... hopefully. lol
Contributor: PropertyOfPotter PropertyOfPotter
Never a dull moment in the MrWill house!
Contributor: MrWill MrWill
as we pick up in the saga of Mr. Will... He was sitting on the sofa, listening to music with the nephew that doesn't live with him. Teaching the youngster the joys of Prince, Queen, Bob Seger.. stuff that is lost on the current generation. The 3 year old bobbed his head and was jamming.. when suddenly the grey haired one appeared.

His clothes stank of hydrocarbons, and crusty mud made of red dirt and saltwater fell to the floor (that Mr. Will had swept earlier). It was Mr. Will's father, home from work for only a few minutes before going out of town to work a well in a far away village. The Grey Haired one hurriedly handed Mr. Will $40 dollars to put gas in the car and go grab lunch, before embarking to the cleansing chamber.

Mr. Will was stuck behind a rather cute blonde at the eating establishment ran by the infamous pirate Long John Silver. As he drove home with the rations for his father, he couldn't help but gag at the smell of deep fried clam chunks.. while his mouth watered at the same time for flaky fake fish he had ordered for himself.

Upon returning home, he handed off the food and the change to the Grey Haired one. Grey Hair handed him the change and told him he would need the money to care for the hellspawn in the absence of Grey Hair and Mr. Will's mother.. at which point it clicked in Mr. Will's head. There would be no break this day.. No break until the next evening.

He listened to soothing music.. He drank some sweet tea, and then it was time to go pick up the minions from day care. This part of the journey went surprisingly easily, but alas a trip to the Emporium De Le Sam Walton was in the cards.

WHAT TRICKERY IS THIS?? The trip into the dungeon that is the corporate money suck of wal-mart for bread, juice, and a Diet. Cherry Dr. Pepper went with out a hitch.. so he bought the hellspawn a bag of Skittles. Drooling commenced, so another load of laundry was in order upon return to the home.

(And that's it for now, be back later. lol)
Contributor: PeaceToTheMiddleEast PeaceToTheMiddleEast
Thanks MrWill I love reading your stuff. You put a great laugh in there as you explained about your day. I already said damn to all the little ones you have to tend too on another forum post but I know how that goes I got a little monster myself and a older one I really don't have to tend to as much.
Contributor: Zombirella Zombirella
I'm sorry, this made me laugh. Especially the part about your daughter throwing a fit over what was on her diaper. Kids are so funny. The smallest things are SUCH a big deal in their world. I can't wait to have my own .

PS: Great taste in music! I had "I want to break free" blasting on my way home from work and I did sing like a nut. I can't help it, one of my favorites!
Contributor: js250 js250
Whew!!! So NOW I remember why I celebrated when my daughter graduated from high school... Sounds like a normal crazy day--love them kids--they grow up too fast!!