Fantasy Roleplay

The New Intimacy

Fantasy Roleplay

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Contributor: Mr Guy Mr Guy
So I'm currently researching fantasy roleplaying for inclusion in the pimped-up, macked-out all-new guides. But there's only so much to glean from the clinical side of things. And on the practical side of the equation, everyone operates differently.

So, I'm going to put it to you, dear readers/commenters/lur kers/beloved sexerati: how do YOU go about translating fantasy into reality? What sort of negotiation process do you go through? And where do you draw the line between what gets acted on, and what stays relegated to the recesses of the mind's eye?
01/22/2009
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Contributor: Mr Guy Mr Guy
I'm bumping myself, because nobody loves me
01/22/2009
Contributor: Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
I can't even begin to answer this without writing a damned book.
01/22/2009
Contributor: Miss KissThis Miss KissThis
Quote:
Originally posted by Mr Guy
I'm bumping myself, because nobody loves me
I do! I just haven't done much fantasy roleplay, so I don't think I would be of much help.
01/22/2009
Contributor: Mr Guy Mr Guy
Quote:
Originally posted by Carrie Ann
I can't even begin to answer this without writing a damned book.
The first sentence of said book should be "A shot rang out."

Get cracking.
01/22/2009
Contributor: Miss Cinnamon Miss Cinnamon
I wish I could actually reply to this. I am what one of my friends calls a "high fantasy" person. I indulge in fantasies and would love to try role-play. Unfortunately, the love of my life is more grounded in reality. I can't even engage him in cyber-fantasy when we're communicating via IM over a long distance (I'm going to school in another city). He gets caught up in details like his bad wrists when I describe a scene where he's strung up by some sturdy leather straps/chains/whatever . I can't masturbate without imagining tentacle monsters or something equally out there. He indulges me, but not to the extent of letting me role-play. He's even leery about "letting" me buy sexy costumes.

So... * sigh * Sorry for wasting everyone's time, but looks like I have no experience to contribute.
01/22/2009
Contributor: Cinnamon Chambers Cinnamon Chambers
For me and my relationships, it has been based on these:

1. How much does making the fantasy happen matter in the grand scheme of things to both partners. Is it something that we both have really dreamed about and discussed for a long period of time or just getting caught up in the moment?

2. How will making it happen affect the relationship or possible other relationships and friendships? If other parties are involved this is a key factor in determining if it is to be acted on or not.

3. Are there financial, physical or legal ramifications to indulging in this scenario. I am not tying to make it sound like all fantasies could get some one hurt or charged with something but realistically there are some that might and this needs to be addressed or considered.

To me it is hard to decide where the line would be because I think it would vary based on the individuals involved in the situation, and where they are in the relationship and in life in general. I know there were things I took part in when I was younger that I look back now and can't help but wonder "What was I thinking?". That was at a different time with a different partner and my views now and then have drastically changed.
01/22/2009
Contributor: Betty Rocket Betty Rocket
Quote:
Originally posted by Cinnamon Chambers
For me and my relationships, it has been based on these:

1. How much does making the fantasy happen matter in the grand scheme of things to both partners. Is it something that we both have really dreamed about and discussed for a long period ... more
w00t
01/22/2009
Contributor: Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
One thing that's really important when indulging in fantasy play is keeping your expectations under control.

Fully half the time fantasies are more fun in the imagination than they are in the reality. Details, people not being on the same page, emotions... all sorts of things can make playing out a fantasy not as good as it was in your head. Having unrealistic expectations just sets you up to fail and sets your partner up to feel as if they've failed you.
01/22/2009
Contributor: Jen. Jen.
yeah see i have some fantasy that i have done with my husband and some that he will never try. i gusses sences he is 31 he kinda know what he wants and all and sences i had his kid and all he wants it in the bed room and that is it and u know i see the line of u can do ur fantasys aslong as no on gets hurt.
01/23/2009
Contributor: Sammi Sammi
Our fantasies that we actually want to make reality are usually pretty simple, so there's not much set up or negotiation. We keep things light - costume, Esse, and other accoutrements are all we usually need.
01/23/2009
Contributor: Gary Gary
I've had this fantasy for a long time where both me and my special lady dress up as Jason Voorhees. I am not really sure if sneaking around the house in the dark with machetes trying to scare each other as foreplay is safe, but it would be really funny… and sexy!

She said that she would be down for it, and I already own a couple real street hockey masks (not the fake Halloween store kind) and few machetes. So, as soon as our life gets a little less busy, maybe even the second Friday in February, we are gonna give this a shot!

One obvious problem with this fantasy would be trying to have any type of oral sex with the masks on. My proposed solution to this would be to take turns; one person can wear the mask and hold the machete while the other person is freed up to take care of business downtown. Then during sex we can both go back to wearing the masks and holding the machetes at the same time.

I feel that this may have wandered off a bit from the intended question that was asked about role play, but what are you gonna do?
01/26/2009
Contributor: Nashville Nashville
I show up on the bed wearing my costume of choice. My husband gets bashful and plays coy or gets the "i dunno" apathetic stance whenever I try to tell him that I want to play 'dress up' so trying to communicate my desires to him is like a dog track- constantly running in circles for that bone but never able to catch it.

If I want something, I get it done. I supply him with the props that I've laid out around the bedroom and I provide myself as the sole inspiration. If he likes what he sees he plays on it, I bring him out of his comfort zone and get his creative juices flowing. If he doesn't like what I've planned then we skip it and fuck in a more traditional style.
01/27/2009
Contributor: stuck in the middle stuck in the middle
For me it all revolves around safety.Thats where I draw the line.Also nothing with to much pain.A little can be fun but I've seen a lot that go well beyond what I'd attempt.I have tons of fantasies and am always thinking about which are safe and which are not.I research if I'm not really sure as well as look to blogs,boards,clinical info for anything pertaining to the fantasy.If it's possible I will even do a small scale test just to get an idea about it and decide if its best left to fantasy or if its something I'd like to attempt.
02/23/2009
Contributor: SealTeam2 SealTeam2
I love being submissive. I have always had a job description where I am very dominant and I love my wife taking charge
We don’t have a normal marriage. I spent 25 years as a Navy Seal and now I work for a security firm in Iraq hence I have been at home very little in the last years. We do make the most of the time we have together and I love our sex life. I am still only 47 y/o. Well that’s old but more than once I never thought I would make it to that many years.
When I first get home, I am all male and want her and her body but then I want to be her girlfriend. I love slipping a pair of hipsters on and we role play that we are both married women and we haven’t seen each other in twelve years and want to explore each other as sexual partners. We take our time and do it slow and it is very hot for the both of us. She is a squirter and she gets on top and we rub clits. I don’t insert my cock in her during role play and we both do oral and sensual massage. I don’t wear panties for a sexual release. I am into cotton hipsters or boy shorts and I wear them from the day I arrive home till the day I leave. It enhances my submissiveness and femininity…..sounds a little much but when I have about 12 days a year with my sexy wife we make the most if it for both of us.
08/19/2009
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Heh my fantasies would get me landed in jail or at least in a lot of trouble...we have tried to act out some of the guys fantasies but as has been mentioned above all parties must be interested and expectations must be realistic.

I have to admit being tweeked by the whole Jason Vorhees complete with mask and machete demanding oral gratification...is it hot in here?
08/23/2009
Contributor: Valyn Valyn
Ok, I only skimmed through the responses, and I realize this was started a long time ago. I might be repeating what others have said. I don't know. I don't even know if the creator is still on EF, or cares. But.. here's my take:

COMMUNICATION! For any and all fantasies with anyone else, the first and foremost issue should be communication. You and your partners) need to talk about these fantasies.. extensively.

For a fantasy to be followed through and actually happen, both partners need to at least be interested and willing. If, to either person, any fantasy is too weird, gross, abnormal, or whatever.. then you need to understand why, and maybe explain why you are interested in it.

Then there's the reality. It's completely different to talk about a what-if situation, and how-about situation. You need to talk about the realities of it. Brainstorm together! Come up with ways, means, rules, lines to draw, and all the details you can think of.

After lots and lots of talking the subject to death, if both people (assuming it's two people involved here) agree and are still interested and both people still want to do it, then. .it can happen!

Of course, safety issues should always be talked about, and strict rules/lines should be drawn. And during, keep the communication open. After all, you're in this together!
08/23/2009
Contributor: Maiden Maiden
Great topic!
Communication and trust are key.
08/30/2009