For a while, I had a little war going after the "enhanced pat-downs" re-kindled the scanner discussion. I was writing everyone I could think of and everyday--TSA, the White House, ACLU and so on. I was going to news article message areas and where people where whining, I told them as best as I could what to do. People were blaming the left, the right. I think I seen people on the right trying to blame the usual suspects but I am pretty left and I seen plenty of people more left of me on the side against the TSA (Which I believe was started by Bush Jr.). Things are so simple. I became pretty exhausted dealing with the comments, writing, defending certain groups of people...I was proud, though--I'm just a homemaker, I felt like I was doing something. :/

When the scanners uproar started, I was horrified, but no one cared too much. I got tired of phrases that were used over and over--"I don't want to get blown up!" Was one I especially hated. I could not believe so many people were going along with this. I felt so alone. I felt like a part of another world since after 9/11. I didn't get swept up in some varieties of thinking that popped up after. Maybe I didn't change enough in a changed world. I was not willing to do some things that others seemed ready to do for "safety". I didn't feel like the measures were aimed right, I didn't feel willing to give up freedoms (We DO actually have a right to fly.). I didn't feel the terrorism threat was as bad as people seemed to think. I didn't think it was worth giving up the right to my body and privacy to fly to places I cannot reach by car or train--the only places I have been waiting to fly to for a decade of saving up. So please do not suggest I take those methods. I am the sort that is scared of doctors, I don't go to the beach in a swimsuit for all to see. Being seen through a scanner and possibly being felt up feels like too much for me. I felt panic thinking about it. People roll their eyes, but remember--what is bad for you might not be bad for me. I won't often roll my eyes at you. I want something we can agree to.

There is so much more I could say. The cost of the machines, the people behind them worries me. The possible danger in them (Though I think they aren't so bad for most of us.) bothers me a little. I don't feel like these things will be stopping dangerous people so much as people would like to think. I don't feel that much safer now.

I vowed to not fly until things change. It's been 10 years. I could wait longer. But the wait is becoming painful. There are places I long to go to, people and things I want to see.

Very recently I read a list of airports around the world where scanners are now. I suspect it has a lot to do with the opinions of the U.S. (Did I see that some airports only scan people flying to the U.S.?). I felt pretty down, I felt my fight became pointless. I might have to deal in foreign airports. But when I can, I will speak against them as I don't want them here.

I have been in plenty of arguments, it's a sensitive topic. We are talking about our safety. But I doubt I can be moved. This is how I feel. My body and my privacy are two things I hold very sacred.