The New Intimacy

valentines day and white day

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Contributor: ahammer ahammer
my gf and I where just talking about how Japanese do it.(this ia a bit over simplified)

valentines day is all about the girl giving gifts(chocolate) to the guy. making it mostly about the man on that day

then on march 14th white day a holiday that focus on the woman. the gifts back should be about 2-3 times the cost of what the woman spent on them.

seem to me to be smarter to have a day to focus on each on the the partners then the way we do it. what do you guy think better the way(or works better for you) the USA does it or Japanese
Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):
USA
Red Vinyl Kitty , kinky girlfriend , ColorSplash , dv8 , *Ashley* , Allstars316 , yw2
7  (14%)
Japanese
ahammer , ~LaUr3n~ , *HisMrs* , Illusional , OroNomi , x cherri , TheSinDoll , Lady Venus , REDRUM , LikeSunshineDust , Sex'и'Violence , Ash1141 , lulz , FLIPxMODE , I Am Sherlocked
15  (29%)
other...does there need to be one? yes ok.
Gallowraven , BluePixi , Chilipepper , AU , C4ss , sbon , A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople) , Darling Jen , liilii080 , Viktor Vysheslav Malkin , Angel deSanguine , MeliPixie , zracer , angel142stx , Princess-Kayla ♥ , ily , ViVix , booboo111926 , Missmarc , Geography , Living Doll , fizzygato , falalena , Incendiaire , Falsepast , GONE! , libra777 , Trysexual , richsam
29  (57%)
Total votes: 51
Poll is closed
01/22/2011
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Contributor: Gallowraven Gallowraven
both ways of celebrating are equally special in their own way. I personally feel that the americanized valentines day is simply a way of getting people to spend extra money. no one really seems to understand origins of the holiday, and simply think it is all about the, "here's some chocolate, sleep with me." aspect of it.
01/22/2011
Contributor: BluePixi BluePixi
Quote:
Originally posted by Gallowraven
both ways of celebrating are equally special in their own way. I personally feel that the americanized valentines day is simply a way of getting people to spend extra money. no one really seems to understand origins of the holiday, and simply think ... more
I agree that that the American traditions are pretty shallow, but I don't know enough to say that the Japanese version is any better. They are both romanticizing gift giving over any depth in a relationship aren't they?
either one could be an excuse or a reminder to do something nice for your S.O. I think they are both cute but probably have to much emphasis placed on them.
01/22/2011
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
I prefer the custom of exchange diaries.
01/22/2011
Contributor: AU AU
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
I prefer the custom of exchange diaries.
That is pretty cute!
01/22/2011
Contributor: AU AU
I like White Day OK, but I think we like to do things in one day. Romantic aspects of holidays make me a little squirmy. I don't like to feel scripted.

I think it is celebrated in a few Asian countries now. My friends did it when they moved to Korea, but I don't know if it was that they knew about the Japanese custom, or if they caught on to what the locals were doing.

But I don't think White Day is very fair sometimes. I've seen plenty of stories where guys are expected to return the favor not only to a significant other, but all girls who gave him chocolate!! I imagine this really happens and takes a toll on a man's wallet. I fear some girls might judge the cheapness of a gift if she doesn't realize her guy has so many gifts to give. That would be sad.

White Day was in fact very much created by the candy industry not too long ago. So if you are the type to be annoyed by such things, be aware of that!
01/22/2011
Contributor: Illusional Illusional
I don't feel my Valentine's Day is scripted. Each year we do something that's romantic to us, if not necessarily romantic to the world.
Sometimes we drive out to this place and sit there and watch the stars and talk and he cuddles me warm. He makes me origami frogs and we make jokes, and then maybe watch anime on his laptop.
I do things for him, just as he does for me. There's no time except birthdays, where it's all about one person.
01/22/2011
Contributor: Danielle1220 Danielle1220
I like them both but I've always felt that we should spend equal amounts on eachother, so I guess the Japanese way wouldn't be good for us. Great idea though.
01/22/2011
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
I think that tradition sounds cool
01/22/2011
Contributor: Illusional Illusional
I also typically make my boyfriend sweets on Valentines, as the Japanese do called "Honmei Choco, literally, "true feeling chocolate" in Japanese"
But with a Japanese name, and being an anime geek XD
01/22/2011
Contributor: Jobthingy Jobthingy
LOL! Valentines is the 14th of Feb but Steak and blow job day is the 14th of march.

We spoil each other equally. and its not just one day it is all the time. But Valentines he will come over after work, I will have dinner ready for us and he will bring desert treats.
01/22/2011
Contributor: Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by Jobthingy
LOL! Valentines is the 14th of Feb but Steak and blow job day is the 14th of march.

We spoil each other equally. and its not just one day it is all the time. But Valentines he will come over after work, I will have dinner ready for us and he ... more
Yup, dessert treats!

Since Valentine's Day is a Monday, we'll probably just play WoW together.
I'll be in school that day. And when he gets off work, I'll give him a call.
01/22/2011
Contributor: sbon sbon
I like both traditions. I think white day sounds like a really cool idea, but I would probably feel like and outsider if I were to celebrate that way.
01/22/2011
Contributor: A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople) A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople)
sound nice, but the "2-3 times more" cost requirement shouldn't be there))
01/22/2011
Contributor: Darling Jen Darling Jen
I don't think either is better or "right". They're both culturally-based holidays that mostly have to do with spending money on people you love.
01/22/2011
Contributor: liilii080 liilii080
It's not about me or him. It's about us as a couple. I have no grandiose expectations, I just want time with my bf and to enjoy him.
01/22/2011
Contributor: Viktor Vysheslav Malkin Viktor Vysheslav Malkin
I am not a fan of the holiday. 2-3 times more sounds insane, and I hope some guys are not married to a rich wife that doesn't share her money but loves to buy gifts....
01/22/2011
Contributor: Red Vinyl Kitty Red Vinyl Kitty
I like the way it is in the USA, where we focus on both of us for that special day.
01/22/2011
Contributor: Redboxbaby Redboxbaby
I love this idea. Maybe it is because this Valentine's Day (which we've never celebrated before) will be all about him. Big surprise for him. I can't wait to spoil him for a change. I am not sure I care for the $$ being a factor though. To me I'd rather have a memory than something bought.
01/22/2011
Contributor: kinky girlfriend kinky girlfriend
Quote:
Originally posted by ahammer
my gf and I where just talking about how Japanese do it.(this ia a bit over simplified)

valentines day is all about the girl giving gifts(chocolate) to the guy. making it mostly about the man on that day

then on march 14th white day a ... more
reading about valentines day or thinking about it really has me thinking about chocolate I'm craving chocolate bad probly because I'm going to start my period today or very soon which I'm afraid to indulge in chocolate because of my ibs
01/22/2011
Contributor: MeliPixie MeliPixie
I dislike the idea of a holiday focusing on only one partner and I always have. Couples should focus all the energy they can on one another, no matter what day it is. Chocolates and gifts are all well and good... But not if the man feels obligated to buy it just because it's a certain day! Birthday, Christmas, anniversary... Valentine's Day too? And what do you give him in return? A neck tie. Come on, ladies. Give your man a break.
01/22/2011
Contributor: Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by MeliPixie
I dislike the idea of a holiday focusing on only one partner and I always have. Couples should focus all the energy they can on one another, no matter what day it is. Chocolates and gifts are all well and good... But not if the man feels obligated to ... more
Lol, I could never just give him a neck tie. lol
01/22/2011
Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
Quote:
Originally posted by Illusional
Lol, I could never just give him a neck tie. lol
Do people still give neckties??
01/22/2011
Contributor: Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
Do people still give neckties??
Maybe? I don't know if I would. He has a lot. Just like a watch and such.
01/22/2011
Contributor: dv8 dv8
Having a separate Valentines Day and White Day seems awkward and alienating for same-sex couples.
01/23/2011
Contributor: MeliPixie MeliPixie
Quote:
Originally posted by Chilipepper
Do people still give neckties??
Haha, apparently only in Pixie's small hometown of Podunk, USA......
01/26/2011
Contributor: ColorSplash ColorSplash
USA somewhere special and secretive.
02/26/2011
Contributor: TheSinDoll TheSinDoll
Why can't everyday be 'White Day'?
02/26/2011
Contributor: dv8 dv8
Quote:
Originally posted by TheSinDoll
Why can't everyday be 'White Day'?
What an odd thing to hear during Black History Month.
02/27/2011
Contributor: *Ashley* *Ashley*
My brother and sister in-law live in Japan. His wife is actually Japanese. I know she loves it when they visit here. They are actually planning on moving here.
Anyways, I do like both. They are sweet to me. But I'm an American and I like it the way we do it around here. Granted its just a holiday to get you to spend more money as my man would say. I say it's the celebration of love, of us.
03/18/2011