It's funny that you post that, because that's actually what I was going to be posting today, lol.

Hee-hee! My ex-brother-in-law was in the "but it's MY shit" camp. Never got married. Started ragging on my ex-husband when we divorced because our stuff is in another state and I'm the one in control of it (paying storage payments and getting it myself when I can). I told the ex-BIL "Well, if you want to drive 1,500 miles to get his shit out of storage before I'm able to afford to drive up to get it to divide it and ship it to you, you're more than welcomed to." Never took me up on the offer, nor did he rag on his brother about it again. Yes, make Chili put out the money she doesn't have to get his crap and spend more money to ship it. In complete honesty, I'd rather just drive by their place at 70mph and throw his shit out the windows. Yes, he's living with his brother. I hope they have a wonderfully rewarding lonely bachelorhood together, because they don't even want to date.

Weddings don't have to cost a fortune, either. The Image that the wedding industry machine tries to push (the $30K+ wedding) never really happens in real life - real life has people with budgets and personalities that don't want All White and something out of a Disney movie. It's not fair to assume all women want to be modern princesses at their weddings just the same as it's not fair to assume all guys don't want to get married because of the lack of sex.

That reminds me, I got married thinking I'd have all the sex I'd want because he'd be there and available, unlike FWB's or trying to date to find a lover. Nope. He didn't want it. He called it a genital sneeze and told me my libido was freakish. I always found the 'no sex after marriage' jokes ironically funny because it was the guy who didn't want it in my marriage. (No, he's not gay - he wanted a Mommy to look after him. Too bad he neglected to tell me this.)

I do understand about the 'negative' culture about it. While looking up quotes I found more negative than positive quotes about marriage. It seems to be another form of perpetuating a myth (the same way as sex) by carrying on and on like a pack of 16-year-old virgin boys. It's also feeding that same stereotype of commitment-phobia. Perhaps if you guys (in general) stop joking about how awful it is, then we might take your real reasons seriously.

I will answer from my knowledge at my society at middle East:

1- compatibility: Man afraid that he will not has the right woman, he feels he is going to gamble with high possible to lose. The highr percentage of divorce here support his fears.

2- Future expenses: Marriage means bringing (a lot) of kids. He awares about others experiences and the suffering they have to provide his kids a good life. Unempolyment ratio here is high (over 20%), life inflation exceeds 3% annualy, and life expenses get higher. Future expenses is like a nightmare for him.

Oddly enough, my partner wants a more extravagant wedding. I'd be much happier with a somewhat laid-back outdoor wedding, just like several of my family members have done. I guess he feels that a costly wedding is necessary because his mother (horrid, shallow, materialistic woman) has pounded it into his head that it isn't worth anything if it doesn't cost a lot.

honestly the whole idea of weddings seems horrible. loud music, dancing, bad food, people judging you on EVERYTHING, the food, the music, the setting, the person you're marrying. Not to mention the thousands spent, friends resentful that they have to give a gift, or travel or that they're not the ones getting married. people say they're fun, but it just seems like hours of waiting and then a pointless ceremony followed by a loud, lousy party filled with resentful people.