Advice Girlfriend on birth control? ( sorry for my long novel)

Contributor: michael scofield michael scofield
Hello everyone! I meant to say Birth control Pill in title but can't change it. Its been so long since I last been on here. First I'd like to say I use to be on this site everyday about 3 years ago posting and answering questions and trying to give people advice and receiving advice. I suffer from social phobia, anxiety and depression. That has held me back from so much in life including sex. I came on here to relieve my sexual frustration and it worked with toys but obviously I was still lonely. I didn't lose my virginity until 23 and I worked up the courage because of great advice I received here. I need some advice now. I met someone 3 months ago we are taking it slow. I opened up to her and told her I think its best not to rush things and let things fall into place and I told her that I have bad anxiety especially when it comes to sex. Things have been going great we see each other 3-4 times a week we have even slept over each others house serval times but never anything sexual. The other night she brought the topic up. I know she really wants it. I do too just so many negative things come to mind. I can't help but say all the bad things in my head but I have not told her. I think like what happens if I can't get it up or what happens if I do without issues but cum in 30 seconds. Ive never had sex without a condom but condoms suck its really no feeling. My mind only seems to focus on the negative. She mentioned she went to the doctor and is on birth control now and she says I won't have to use a condom and soon we can start but before we do it so we both feel safe we can go together to get tested she said. I have not been with anyone is about a year. Ive only been with 2 girls sexually and I'm 26. I did not tell her Ive only had 2 sexual partners or lost my virginity at 23. The idea of no condom of course is going to help with the feeling but my question is how effective is birth control against pregnancy? Has anyone on it had a scare or got pregnant? Has anyone had to get on birth control because a boy friend or husband couldn't perform or had difficulties with condoms? if I go thru with this and don't use a condom should I pull out to be safe or does it not matter and I can cum inside her? Should I just use a condom anyway? Any advice is greatly appreciated. She is an amazing person in the past I have held off sex for so long woman have left me because of it. its been 3 months and by her getting on birth control and us going to get tested I know she really wants it to happen soon. I just don't want to mess this up. Thank you
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Contributor: Inquisitor Inquisitor
Don't feel bad, I didn't start having sex till I was 21. The thought of a girl I'm in a relationship with not on birth control scares the SH@$ out of me, not to mention the possibility of getting an STI.

Anyway, I understand the issue of not wanting to wear a condom due to the "numbing effect" it can have.

I'll be honest, I've had a pregnancy scare once when I use the pull out method and yes she was on the pill. That is a different story for a different time though.

It's good that she wants to go on birth control and its also great that you two are going to get tested together. That shows commitment.

I'm no doctor but to answer your question, if I understood it, was how effective is the oral pill with regards to pregancy. I've been told by my health professional that it is upwards 90% range IF it is taken as instructed. This means the pill needs to be taken at the same time every day. If it is disrupted it can loose its effectiveness. I'm sure others will give you more accurate information in this thread.

You should know that the pull out method isn't a reliable method of birth control. She can still get pregnant if she isn't on the pill or other birth control using this method.

I would like to encourage you to talk to your health provider for more and accurate information regarding this. They have heard it all and won't be surprised and shouldn't shame you or make you feel bad in any way.

Personally, I still use a condom even though my girl is on the pill. I feel that it is a matter of personal responsibility and not about trust. Neither of us really wants a child, even though we would have a cute child of we were to get preggers.
Contributor: TheToyGuy TheToyGuy
Birth Control. I love hate giving this talk at work.

Abridged version (I usually spend time making a person comfortable and can read body language. This may come off a bit direct. I apologise.):

The only form of birth control that is 100% effective is abstinence.

That said. Most oral contraceptives are 92-97% effective when taken correctly, they however provide no protection from STD's when used on their own.

Male condoms on their own are 84% effective when used correctly. They come in a variety of types and will protect against STD's.

If you are having sensation issues I suggest using a thin condom or if you want a really natural feel [and are not a vegan] use a lambskin condom, mind you a lambskin condom will not protect against STD's.

Using a combination of oral and condom contraceptives on average guarantees 99.5& (not 99.9%, 0.5% is a massive difference when dealing with millions of sperm) effectiveness.

Lastly, if you still do not want to use a condom you have a few other options.

Vaginal Spermicide, 74% effective on it's own, use as directed.
Diaphragm/Cervical Cap, 60-80% effective on it's own, prescription required.
If used with oral your looking at 80-90% effectiveness.

And my two least favourite methods, withdrawal and fertility awareness, not giving any effectiveness ratings for those two.

I always like to suggest at least two methods of contraception should be used for optimal results.
Contributor: Vnessa Vnessa
Both posts above are amazing and point on. You can't get better information than that.

For the longest time, until we got married, my husband and I used 2 forms of contraception. The pill and condoms. Neither one of us were fans of condoms (I think I hated them even more) but we did what was best to avoid a potential pregnancy that we were not ready for.
Total posts: 4
Unique posters: 4