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I don't consider myself a feminist, even when my beliefs align with feminist beliefs, which is often. I have too many issues with how feminism has evolved over the years, and I don't think it's always been beneficial for women. It's
I don't consider myself a feminist, even when my beliefs align with feminist beliefs, which is often. I have too many issues with how feminism has evolved over the years, and I don't think it's always been beneficial for women. It's complicated...very complicated for me. In short though, I don't think feminism has always done a good job of valuing traditional female roles or accepting that a lot of women are comfortable with those roles, and I think that male roles and identity got lost in the shuffle along the way, and with my generation, I think there is a direct correlation with how we have turned out, our attitudes and perceptions, and the break down of family dynamics. I don't think that women should just be at home moms or house wives if they don't want to be--especially since that life doesn't appeal to me at all. But I do think a lot of women feel pressured to be "Wonder Woman" and do it all--have the education, successful career, marriage, kids, extra-curricular "mom activities" and every adult responsibility you can imagine, because if you don't want that, then you don't appreciate what women in the generations before you had to suffer and sacrifice to give you the right. It's less about what women can do in society these days that I have a problem with (because I take full advantage of it, happily, and believe we should be able to do so), and more about the general outlook that I don't like.
I could go on and on about it, but...I probably better not. That's my perception in a nutshell.
I agree with a lot of this, but I can't figure out if I'm a feminist or not. I think I would say I am not a feminist in the way that modern society has come to view it.
I was reading an article the other day by a well-known feminist who said she felt "betrayed" when women she knew choose to be full-time wives/mothers. She was outraged that someone could want that, and they should "know better." Unfortunately, that's the way feminism is now seen. Feminism, from what I understand, was about choice and equality, but the most vocal feminists lately have a slightly different message: "You have choices, but let me tell you what to choose because I know what's best for you. If you don't choose what I tell you, you aren't a feminist."
I guess what I'm saying is this: I don't care if you work. I don't care if you stay home. I don't care if you wear high heels to bake cookies or if you run barefoot through the forest. Do what you will, just understand why you are doing it. Do it because it fits you, not because you feel pressured.
Personally, I am one of those full time wives/mothers. I didn't plan it that way, it just happened. Yes, I've heard obnoxious cracks about how I "wasted" money on an education. That's their view. To me, no matter what, education can never be considered a waste. I am where I am and do what I do because it fits who I am at this stage of my life.
Now, as for equal pay, equal rights, protection from domestic violence, having a choice in education and whether or not they work, I'm all for it. I'm all about equal rights. However, I'm not OK with someone else's view of what is "correct" being shoved down my throat.
I will say this: The next old man that suggests that I went to college to get my M.R.S. degree is likely to get punched in the face.