Been Gone a While....

Contributor: Envy Envy
If anyone was wondering where I've been, I've been having a lot of family things going on, so I haven't been able to do any reviews, or rather, use any toys actually. I'll put it as simple as possible in a list to give a run down of my situation:

1. My dad is out on worker's comp and is home 24/7, leaving me no time for privacy and meaning I have to do more to help him due to his injury. We're waiting for him to get surgery but the insurance is taking their sweet time and if he doesn't get it in time, his work might lay him off for being off work so long. I have also been supplementing my income when he needs extra money so we can pay bills, have a roof over our heads, and eat.
2. Due to not having privacy, no toys for me. I can't get any amount of spare time at all since my dad is a homebody. So I haven't requested any products to review or done anything I wanted. I am behind with everything.
3. I am going through a midlife/identity crisis at my tender age of 23. I have constant panic attacks daily with my panic disorder and bouts of bad depression. I am always tired, never getting a full night's rest since I wake in the throes of panic. I am taking medication, but it's to the point where I always need it, every day. And I feel weird when not taking it, which makes panic flare up again.
4. Trying to get a leg up in life by finally learning how to drive and getting a car. But since the issue with dad, I have to drop everything and tend to him first. I've even had to put the chance to see my LDR bf on hold until we know what happens, because if my dad loses his job, we lose the house and everything.

So that's kinda it in a nutshell. I've been having random periods too where I just start giggling and crying at the same time for no reason, it really freaks my bf out. Feel like a basket case and all the little things seem to bother me and make me panic.

But yeah, on hiatus until something pulls through, hopefully. I just wanted to give a heads up to those whom have read and responded/voted on my reviews. I'm not ignoring the comments, thank you all for them, I'm just too busy to respond or post much. I pop on time to time to make posts and such, though, so i am trying.
03/24/2011
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Contributor: VanillaFreeSex VanillaFreeSex
no worries about neglecting us EFers, lol. you obviously have your own shit going on.

btw, sounds like you might need to discuss with your dr about changing meds.
been there, done that. sounds like maybe you are just on a as needed benzo? that should be in addition to another med. (disclosure, i'm not a medical professional, blah blah blah)
03/24/2011
Contributor: Jobthingy Jobthingy
*HUGE hugs* We will all be here when you have time to come back

I am with Vanillafree on the meds front. You need something else. It will help.
03/24/2011
Contributor: Ansley Ansley
Check your local Department of Labor laws regarding Worker's Compensation claims. I know in my state, you can be demoted from your current position to a different position but you CANNOT be fired (and being laid off is essentially the same thing in this case). If he is fired, I suggest immediately retaining a lawyer and going for the lion's throat on this one. It's ridiculous what WC laws restrict when it comes to these things. A claim was filed on behalf of my husband, without his knowledge, and he received less than 1/3 of his salary. My state will only pay out $500 a week if you make over $12.50 an hour. It's pathetic and completely backwards since it is mandatory that employers with a certain number of employees in specific industries are required to purchase a WC policy.
03/24/2011
Contributor: VanillaFreeSex VanillaFreeSex
oh, and try to take some me time with a nice bath if you can. maybe with a waterproof quiet toy,
03/24/2011
Contributor: Vaccinium Vaccinium
Please take care of yourself. We'll be here when you can return more frequently. No worries.
03/24/2011
Contributor: ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
Sorry to hear about rough times Goth. Sending some positive thoughts and a few big hugs, take care of yourself and your dad. We'll keep an eye out for ya, see you soon.
03/24/2011
Contributor: liilii080 liilii080
Sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now and you're handling things the best way you can. Take care of yourself. I'm sending positive vibes, prayers, and good karma you and your families way and look forward to reading your reviews when you are able to come back.
03/24/2011
Contributor: gone77 gone77
You do what you need to do, Goth. We'll always be here.
03/24/2011
Contributor: Sammi Sammi
I hope things get better for you!
03/24/2011
Contributor: Envy Envy
Thanks for all the kind words, guys. My dad is going to try to go back to work, but I just hope he doesn't make the problem worse. But if they were to fire him, he already has a lawyer on hold in case shit hits the fan, so we're covered in that so far. i just worry because if the partial tear in his elbow turns into a full tear, he'll lose the ability to move his hand.

As for the meds, I might try again. Just on the anxiety meds now, no anti deps. not sure what to try though, the Paxil I had made me so very very ill. Most of my family is on Cymbalta and it works for them, is there any connection with anti deps and genetics if most of the family responds well to that drug?
03/25/2011
Contributor: Tuesday Tuesday
I hope things start improving for you soon. What you're having to tolerate sounds awful.
03/25/2011
Contributor: Eden C. Eden C.
Welcome back! I had a similar experience around age 20. I believe it's called a Quarter Life Crisis.
03/25/2011
Contributor: Bunnycups Bunnycups
Quote:
Originally posted by Envy
Thanks for all the kind words, guys. My dad is going to try to go back to work, but I just hope he doesn't make the problem worse. But if they were to fire him, he already has a lawyer on hold in case shit hits the fan, so we're covered in ... more
I'm really sorry to read about your situation. That's an awful amount of stress and pressure to be under. I hope he gets his surgery soon. Even though you're taking care of your father, you need time for you too. You should try to go out with friends or to a friend's house in the evening when someone else is home to take care of dad.

Unfortunately with antidepressants it is hit or miss. You have to work with your doctor to find what is right for you. It sounds like you definitely need an antidepressant. You should write down all that you're experiencing, the panic attacks, the sleepless nights, the anxiety, the crying and giggling, and anything else so you can share them with your doctor. I've tried several kinds of medications until I found what works for me. And don't despair if you need meds. It's just like anything else, if a person needs glasses or insulin then they do what needs to be done to take care of themselves. I had a nervous breakdown and needed medications, but as I got better I was either weened off or put on a lower dosage. It may not seem like things will get better, but they will. You need to hang in there and take care of yourself. I commend you for stepping up and taking care of your family, but don't forget to take care of yourself. *hug*
03/25/2011
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
I'm so sorry to hear what's been going on. You take all the time you need to, we'll all still be here waiting for you
03/25/2011
Contributor: Selective Sensualist Selective Sensualist
I'm so sorry to hear that you and your dad are going through such a rough time. I hope things work out for you both soon. Keep your chin up and take care of yourself! We all look forward to seeing you back but understand that real life takes priority.
03/25/2011
Contributor: P'Gell P'Gell
I was wondering where you were, hon.

I'm sorry you are going through such a rough time.

Honey, you NEED to take some time for yourself. He could be laid up for years, and you can't put your life on hold. Some people will play out injuries (not all, but some) to get attention and things, and you don't want to wake up one day at 35 saying, "WTF happened to my life?" I don't want to stress you more, but getting some help for yourself, and getting the hell out of the house and tending to YOUR sexual needs is more important than "tending to" a grown man who can do most of it for himself.

Don't let him scare with with the "We'll lose the house." shit. Moving out would be preferable to living like this for an indefinite time.

I care about you and I know you deserve better. Get back in touch with your BF and try to get on with your life in the meantime, I KNOW it's harder said than done. I've been depressed badly too (in fact, I am now) but sometimes you have to care for YOURSELF before you can care for others.

Hugs, prayers and love,

P'Gell
03/25/2011
Contributor: El-Jaro El-Jaro
Real life always comes first!

"This too, shall pass"
03/25/2011
Contributor: Rossie Rossie
Sorry to hear about all the things you're going through. Please take it easy and don't give yourself anymore pressure. Things will gradually improve. Don't know anything about anxiety meds. My son takes Zoloft for anti-depression only.
03/25/2011
Contributor: Dusk Dusk
Oh hon, it sounds like you're going through a terrible time. I hope everything pulls through for ya. *hugs* Let us know if we can do anything to help.
03/27/2011
Contributor: wetone123 wetone123
A lot of pressure and stress! At such a young age too! I really hope everything will turn around for you soon. I agree with who am i? about the meds and the YOU time in the bath. I also agree with JR( aka Mr. Sauce) "This too will pass" and when it does pass, you will have much more perspective and experience in hardship so you will endure better the next time things get shaky. Hold on hon! Sending love and light your way! You will be ok!
03/27/2011