I'm extremely selfish and lazy.

I have been working for the past year on my tendency to say things that will hurt people. I'm ridiculously blunt and my tone doesn't always translate well online and I just never really cared if I was PC or sensitive.

I'll admit sometimes I still don't care BUT... I'm trying. It's become more important for me to not make others feel crappy just cuz I feel the need to say something. I try to chew on my thoughts a bit more now before I spit them out and determine if I really "need" to say something or just want to.

It's hard work but worth it. I'm a pretty nice person. As I get older it's more important to me to show that instead of always showing my ass

I tend towards the blunt side, regardless of whether it's appropriate. I'm slowly getting better though

Thanks for the honesty, you three! I always appreciate how the first few people reply because they can set the whole tone for future replies!

Carrie Ann & gsfanatic, it's so hard to restrain yourself from saying what pops into your head when it's a lifelong habit, isn't it? You should hear my internal dialog, ha ha! I have had a lifetime of being forced to repress my "mouth", so I keep it zipped, but in my head it's all swimming around! If I wasn't allergic to alcohol, I would have to avoid drinking anyway. I can just imagine what a mean drunk I could be with my filters removed!

We have a similar, but different problem as yours, with my father. He feels the need to voice whatever he thinks. It's frustrating that he doesn't show the same restrain that we show him. He is the most sensitive person about what people say to him, so it's annoying that he dishes it out but can't take it. Unfortunately, he has no desire to change because he thinks he's perfect & therefore has a right to be judge & jury. So I applaud you for making the effort because I really don't know how many people would. Good for you both! BTW Carrie Ann,your restraint must be working, as I don't recall ever seeing a comment by you that would be considered hurtful or insensitive.

This reminds me of another personality flaw of mine. I always know or ferret out what would hurt someone to the quick & hold it in reserve in case I "need" it. I don't recall ever letting it loose but once or twice, but it was devastatingly effective in causing maximum carnage. Gee, I sound like a real asshole in this thread! Clearly, I am a wee bit defensive!

I'm way too shy so it can be hard for people to actually get to know my personality.

I'm non confrontational, I have intense anxiety dreams if i'm stressed and i really try my best to avoid anything confrontational especially with my family.

I'm quick to judge.

Growing up, I can't even count all the times that one of my friends said "You don't have a filter!" because I was too blunt. I've learned to hold a lot back but every now and then I slip up.

I'm too hard on myself, and I don't take criticism that well. I absorb the criticism and probably wont ever make the mistake again, but often I cry or get defensive initially.

I'm a procrastinator.

I sometimes have trouble following through with things because I lose interest quickly.

But I'm working on all of it!

I talk too much.

I tend to be impatient and impulsive. It seems like the more important the decision, the more I want to just decide to get it over with! Fortunately, I've been aware of it for a long time and (mostly) keep it under control with a couple of coping strategies. Mostly.

I'm a pretty controlling person, in the sense that I need to be in control of situations but not necessarily people. I've been working on letting go some but it's really hard to. I feel so vulnerable when I don't have the majority of control over something.

I'm horribly lazy.

I can be very blunt & not even know it; second guessing myself.

Like peachmarie and brat cat, I hate confrontation too. When someone hurts me I just bottle it up and don't say anything. It hasn't been working out too well for me either. Eventually I explode on whoever is standing nearest me.

My hate for confrontation has led to other flaws I see in myself... When I'm nervous or scared to do something I just won't do it. Things pile up and just get worse which makes me even less likely to face them, and so goes the circle.

I really need to work on changing that about myself but have no idea where to start.

I have a few...one that tends to get on my husband's last nerve is that I can be extremely confrontational if I feel the situation calls for it, regardless if anyone else feels that way...I've rocked a few boats in my lifetime that's for damn sure.

I'm stubborn. It has it's positive aspects, but definitely gets in the way as well. For instance, there is someone important in my life who is veeeeeery confrontation. This person will knowingly say something rude and is ready to start an argument. Since I am so stubborn, I cannot just let it go. I have to defend myself or anyone else who is being treated unfairly. I end up getting frustrated of course, while the confrontational person just moves along.

I have a lot of anxiety most of the time and I worry that other people can tell and judge me for it.

Lack of confidence, its a little better but it always hampers my hunger to try something new. I have to fight it all the time.

I am not sure about the biggest, I have plenty: stubbornness, low self-esteem, laziness and anxiety are probably the worst ones.

I think at times I can be standoffis and sometimes needy.

I obsess over things. Occasionally this can be good (ie, my house is clean and my closets are organized), but other times it's bad (ie, when I am laying in bed at night thinking about a mean comment I said to a friend 4 years ago). I really wish I could let stuff go!

I think I have too many to name!

I'm too sensitive, things that shouldn't really hurt me, pain me to the core. I'm stubborn, anxious, second guess myself, think I can help/fix everyone, have a hard time letting things go, etc.