Birth Order and Personality/Relationsh ips

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Dawn (Lilac Distraction)

There are several studies out there on birth order's influence on personality. Are there things in your personality that are typical for your place in the family? What happens when a first born child and a youngest child are in a relationship? Are their dynamics similar to the order of their birth?

Where are you in the birth order? It doesn't necessarily have to be a biological birth order, but where you fit in when you were growing up. Which one is your partner if you have one? Have you noticed anything about the dynamic between the two of you that seems to be related to birth order? Does your personality seem to match the personality of others in your birth order?

An article with the common traits

Answers (public voting - your screen name will appear in the results):

I'm an only child.

GenderSexplorations , Redboxbaby , ninaspinkturtle , Jessw24 , Lummox , BellaDonna2884 , A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople) , DeliciousSurprise , Pink Jewel

I'm the first born.

Dawn (Lilac Distraction) , Jaimes , eggiweg , Chilipepper , sassyNsensual , Antipova , Jul!a , tooshy , GravyCakes , Diabolical Kitty , Naughty Student , oldhippy , EvilHomer , AngelvMaynard , PiratePrincess , FunStuff , JessCee , married with children , Papershotglass , CoffeeCup , Screen Door , ily , ~LaUr3n~ , slynch , mandiegk , Lucky21 , Booktease , darthkitt3n

I'm a middle child.

Starkiller87 , Rossie , Tuesday , Gunsmoke , Sir , Lucky21 , caligaliber , Selective Sensualist

I'm the last born.

Kkay , Ansley , melissa1973 , ZenaidaMacroura , Coralbell , LaLaLouise , Eva Schwaltz , mizzmilla , dv8 , JRabbits , Errant Venture , Ivy Wilde , jessterinthebed , FaerieLove , Kindred , sasweetheart89

My partner is an only child.

Dawn (Lilac Distraction) , Antipova , FunStuff , JessCee , A Closet Slut (aka nipplepeople) , caligaliber

My partner is a first born.

Kkay , ZenaidaMacroura , Coralbell , Chilipepper , GravyCakes , Naughty Student , oldhippy , Tuesday , mizzmilla , dv8 , PiratePrincess , ninaspinkturtle , Lummox , CoffeeCup , Screen Door , Ivy Wilde , jessterinthebed , FaerieLove , Booktease

My partner is a middle child.

melissa1973 , sassyNsensual , tooshy , Diabolical Kitty , Rossie , SiNn , Redboxbaby , Gunsmoke , CoffeeCup , ~LaUr3n~ , Kindred , Selective Sensualist , darthkitt3n

My partner is the last born.

Jaimes , Ansley , eggiweg , Starkiller87 , LaLaLouise , Jul!a , Diabolical Kitty , GenderSexplorations , EvilHomer , AngelvMaynard , Jessw24 , married with children , CoffeeCup , ily , Errant Venture , slynch , mandiegk , Lucky21 , sasweetheart89

Total votes: 118 (61 voters)

Poll is closed

08/22/2011

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Dawn (Lilac Distraction)

I'm not really a super perfectionist, although I do have extremely high standards for things. For a first-born, I do feel the constant need to please everyone, though, and make sure things are taken care of. I have a sister 5 years younger than me that I grew up with, and some other half and step siblings I've never lived with. I took on the nurturing, half-parenting role. I do have a leader personality. I also see that my sister is much more naive about the world when I was because she was sheltered.

I see this carrying over into my relationship. My partner is an only child and does things on his own terms, doesn't worry too much about other people's needs, and is really independent. It's a strange dynamic. I straight up asked him if he believed in birth order and personality the other day when he was acting like a typical only child. He doesn't like to share and he's really independent.

08/22/2011

Kkay

I'm the second of two, so I guess last-born, though the article focused more on larger families for that. My partner is first-born.

I'd say it fits better for him than for me. He's very confident and outgoing, stable, and frankly a bit arrogant. In contrast I'm an INFJ to my core.

08/22/2011

Dawn (Lilac Distraction)

Quote:

Originally posted by Kkay

From what the article said, a second child who is the last-born can have the personality traits of both, just like the only child is very similar to the first born.

08/22/2011

Kkay

Quote:

Originally posted by Dawn (Lilac Distraction)

From what the article said, a second child who is the last-born can have the personality traits of both, just like the only child is very similar to the first born.

Yeah, neither really fit for me. It's kind of interesting to me that the listed traits for all of the roles seem to be more dominant ones.

08/22/2011

Ansley

I'm not really sure, to be quite honest. I am the second and final child; my spouse is the third and final child.

One of his sisters took him under her wing and pretty much taught him all of his street smarts and the common sense kinds of things and he didn't get on well with the middle child at all.

My sister is quite a bit older than I am and she left home by the time I was six and before then she regarded me as nothing more than the "pain in the ass that was stealing her spotlight". So while I am the second child, I was pretty much an only child.

I see very similar traits in both my husband and myself that might have something to do with our birth orders, but I think being the last child and a boy had more impact on him than me being the second child out of two girls. If that makes any sense. He was much more revered from the beginning than I was.

08/22/2011

Coralbell

I'm the youngest of 4, and my boyfriend is the oldest of 3. I'd say the last-born description in that article fits me pretty well. I don't think I'm immature but I'm outgoing, stubborn and funny. I like attention and I can be a bit of a troublemaker.

I don't think the first-born description is very accurate for my boyfriend. He's responsible and has accomplished a lot already in his life, but he's not a perfectionist or a worrier. He's very easy going. The description fits my oldest sister very well though.

08/22/2011

Chilipepper

My ex-husband and I were very typical - I was first-born (with younger brother) in my family and he was last-born (three boys) in his. I was the one who led the way, took responsibility, and did all the worrying. He made plans that never came to fruition, funny as hell, and never quite grew up.

I'm so glad I'm with Master now - he's the first-born (with younger sister) in hs family and is very responsible and organized and kind. Although He's more grounded than I am, and I'm more dreamy than he is - but we balance out just right.

08/22/2011

Starkiller87

Ive always said I suffer from middle child syndrome. I feel like the first and last are the special ones. Because the first is the first and the last is the baby. Ive always got mixed up in the shuffle some how. My older sister always had to be the responsible one and my younger brother was the spoiled one. And they always ganged up on me.

My boyfriend is the baby of the family and he is very sheltered in some ways because of it. When we first moved in together his parents were constantly calling to remind him about bills, and every other thing you can think of. Not because he is forgetful because hes the youngest and they worry. He didn't handle a lot of things for himself for the longest time and now a few years later I think hes grown up A LOT. He was never immature, I mean just in the sense he does things for himself now and his parents have left him alone for the most part. He's really stepped up to be the man of the house and the provider and I couldn't be more proud.

08/22/2011

GravyCakes

my bf is actually only a few weeks older than me, & we both have younger siblings. he has a younger sister & i have a younger sister & brother. i actually took a child & family development class last yr & we discussed this topic. very interesting class. my personality fit the 1st born in that i'm the most outgoing out of my siblings & the most independent. my bf, however, isn't quite as outgoing & his personality isn't as strong as mine can be (& i mean strong in a good way). in the class, we learned that couples who have similar birth orders in their families tend to work out better b/c their personalities are usually similar (of course there are always exceptions to this).

08/22/2011

Eva Schwaltz

I'm the youngest, but all my siblings are way older than me, so I have quite an independent streak. I tend to be attracted to first borns though.

08/22/2011

Rossie

I'm a middle child, I think I'm the easy going one. My older sister tries to have control over everything, and gets really jealous about my younger brother, cuz my mom dotes on him.

08/22/2011

Ansley

Quote:

Originally posted by Rossie

I'm a middle child, I think I'm the easy going one. My older sister tries to have control over everything, and gets really jealous about my younger brother, cuz my mom dotes on him.

Haha, I can totally relate on the older sister controlling everything. I actually had to sit my sister down and tell her to stop mothering me. I was 25 at the time!!

08/22/2011

Naughty Student

I'm the oldest and so is my partner. I am 3 years older than my sis while my partner is slightly more than 1 yr older than his sis.

We both get along very well with our sibling.

In my family I tend to be the black sheep, my partner wonders how I made it out alive and became the person I am when he looks at how fucked up my family is, lol.

08/22/2011

oldhippy

Both my wife and I are fist born. We are both the "responsible" child in the family, and we both come from families that are big enough to be almost 2 families. I am 3 years older than my brother (2nd child) and 5 years older than my first sister (3rd child). There are 2 years between the 3rd, 4th, and 5th sisters in my family. In my wifes family the split is actually worse. She is 2 years older than her first sister, then 2 more to the second, but 10 years to the 3rd sister. With our places in the sibling family, we helped to raise all, or most of our siblings, along with baby sitting, and helping to support the family at times. With that background, you become overly responsible fast, but you also loose a lot of your childhood in the process.

08/22/2011

Tuesday

I'm a third born, but the first female. Every guy I've ever dated was a first born.

I took an online test to determine birth order and every time it concluded I was a first born even when I retook it trying to answer different ways. Everyone in my knitting group did it and it was accurate for them. I'm thinking that being the first female in a family that was anxious about female children (constantly worried about their virtue) may have made a difference.

08/22/2011

mizzmilla

I'm the last of 6 and my partner's the oldest of 3. My oldest sister and I were pretty distant growing up just because she's 11 years older than I am. But I have a really close knit family anyway so now that we're all growing/grown up we talk much more than we used to.

08/22/2011

Gunsmoke

We're both middle children where our older siblings were not leaders. Both of us were 'favored' by our parents because of superior grades and social skills compared to our older siblings. In spite of being 11 years older we see the world in almost exactly the same way - you know we can finish each others sentences and always could.

08/23/2011

Sir

Middle child, but I have been with both people who were only children and who had siblings, but none really understood the value of family like I do. Perhaps I have just grown far beyond them and can appreciate and love my family. Who knows.

In all honesty, I usually appear and carry myself as the oldest child or first born. I take care of my two siblings as if they were my own children, and they generally look up to me. I also am a perfectionist, strive to be the best I can possibly be, and do things that I know are right and just. I do not, however, attempt to please people other than myself.

I used to look up to my older sibling, until she started regressing and I grew into an adult. Unlike the article states, I am not competitive whatsoever. I could care less. I would love it if my siblings did well and succeeded beyond my ability, it would make me very happy.

08/23/2011

Dawn (Lilac Distraction)

Quote:

Originally posted by Tuesday

I love the fact that you're in a knitting group.

08/23/2011

Dawn (Lilac Distraction)

It's interesting that we have so many more first borns so far. It just makes me wonder if first borns are more attracted to sex toys.

I'm studying psychology. My brain wonders about these kinds of things.

08/23/2011

Screen Door

I'm first born and so is my partner who is a twin.

08/24/2011

BellaDonna2884

I'm an only child.

08/24/2011

~LaUr3n~

Interesting article!

08/24/2011

Errant Venture

I'm a last born and, while the traits given do describe me well, so do a lot of the other traits for the other -borns.

08/24/2011

Ivy Wilde

I was second born, but I have almost all of the traits of the first born. Although I do have the feeling of not belonging that is typical of second borns.

My husband is first born, and has traits from first, second and third borns.

We get along better than most people in relationships as far as I can tell.

08/24/2011

jessterinthebed

Thats neat to read my husband is first born and I'm the baby

08/24/2011

Ansley

Quote:

Originally posted by Ivy Wilde

My husband often talks about a couple he knows and he's like I just don't understand it, it's like they never talk to each other. Meanwhile, he and I are constantly checking in or talking about stuff going on around the house and in the world and where we want to go in life. I have to keep reminding him that he and I have fostered this type of relationship and not everyone is like us. He still gets sooo frustrated over it. I think I've spoiled him.

08/24/2011

Lucky21

I was rased an oldest child, though I have older 1/2 siblings. My partner is youngest.

08/24/2011

caligaliber

This has me pinned down pretty well, my older brother (first in my dad's second family) is definitely the type that will get supported in everything he does, though he doesn't have as much drive. I'm firmly middle child though my little sister is young enough to not be last born but only child in personality.
My partner is an only child but has a much older 1/2 brother, and she has the support, and the drive to accomplish things. She has to be the best at everything, lol. Makes it great in bed!

08/24/2011

Total posts: 30 Unique posters: 23

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