Chris Kluwe is my new favorite football player: “They Won’t Magically Turn You Into A Lustful Cockmonster”

Contributor: Petite Valentine Petite Valentine
Here's the setup:
Maryland State Delegate Emmett C. Burns Jr. wrote a letter to Baltimore Ravens owner Steve Bisciotti because earlier in the week Linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo spoke in favor of a Maryland ballot initiative that would legalize gay marriage. (See his awesome YouTube video.) Burns urged Bisciotti to "inhibit such expressions from your employee."

Well, Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe has a thing or two to say to Burns.

READ IT ON DEADSPIN.

It's awesome, and includes lots of paragraphs like this:

…the mental gymnastics your brain has to tortuously contort itself through to make such a preposterous statement are surely worthy of an Olympic gold medal (the Russian judge gives you a 10 for "beautiful oppressionism").

and this:

How does gay marriage, in any way shape or form, affect your life? If gay marriage becomes legal, are you worried that all of a sudden you'll start thinking about penis? "Oh shit. Gay marriage just passed. Gotta get me some of that hot dong action!"

Chris Kluwe is my new favorite football player.

09/08/2012
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Contributor: laflauta laflauta
"They won't magically turn you into a lustful cockmonster. They won't even overthrow the government in an orgy of hedonistic debauchery because all of a sudden they have the same legal rights as the other 90 percent of our population..."

This is fantastic! Thank you for sharing.
09/09/2012
Contributor: Petite Valentine Petite Valentine
Quote:
Originally posted by laflauta
"They won't magically turn you into a lustful cockmonster. They won't even overthrow the government in an orgy of hedonistic debauchery because all of a sudden they have the same legal rights as the other 90 percent of our ... more
I'm glad you liked it. I think it should be required reading for EVERYONE!
09/10/2012