Christians - Question - Long answers! - Created by SecretToyLover2 on Feb 17, 2012: EdenFantasys Forum

Christians - Question - Long answers!

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SecretToyLover2

So for the Christians on this website, I have a question. I was going to put this in the sex in general section, but I feel that it doesn't belong there. How often do you feel "Hm, I'm kinda weird for using sex toys."

I know some people do. My husband and I have best friends who are married and they feel this way a lot. My husband and I get this way too. Hence the reason I actually deleted my old account recently. There were other reasons, but this was a part of that.

A great example is my sister. She's turning 18, using a vibrator, and has a steady relationship with her boyfriend. She feels that since the bible doesn't mention use of sexual aids, that it isn't okay. But she loves her vibrator too much. However, she says, on the other hand... These were never around in bible times. At least vibrators and whatnot.

Another good example is our best friends. For the longest time, Lisa, the wife, was hiding sex toys from her husband. He didn't approve of them because they were seen to be dirty by his catholic bible study group. Eventually he saw that they helped her in bed and they both use sex toys now.

People tend to feel ashamed for the use of sex toys. So I want to know what people really think about using them according to their religion. What do you think? Answers are all private.

Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):

I am a female

I am a male

I never really got over the "feeling weird/ashamed" thing. I always have and still do.

I felt that way for a while, but it ended and I feel perfectly okay now.

It depends what kind of toy (explain below)

I feel this way from time to time. It isn't something that always applies

I only feel this way when others mention me using sex toys

These feelings ended when I got married/ got in a steady relationship

I never had these feelings

Who cares what people think (explain)

I don't think that using sex toys is "okay," but I like them too much.

I think that using sex toys is "okay," but people are still getting used to that fact. Therefore we have a weird stigma around sex toys.

My significant other is not okay with using sex toys, but I am.

Christianity and sex toys do NOT mix

Christianity and sex toys are irrelevant

Christianity and sex toys mix. It's your morals that count.

Other (Explain below)

Total votes: 57 (15 voters)

Poll is closed

02/17/2012

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SecretToyMan

Babe you know its really a complicated thing. I think a lot of it has to do with your morals. As for you and me, we're fine. It doesn't get in the way of our religion, our lives outside of the bedroom, or our personalities. We can control ourselves. A lot of it is what people were telling us that made us upset.

02/17/2012

SecretToyLover2

Quote:

Originally posted by SecretToyMan

Yeah you're definitely right. A lot of it had to do with what people told us. I'm just more curious to see what other people think in their lives and whatnot.

02/17/2012

Errant Venture

I can't really comment because I'm not a Christian, but I thought you might be interested to hear that dildos were around in those days. Indeed, the earliest known dildo was dated to have been made 30,000 years ago (and probably used for 28,000 years*).

*I'm joking about this part, but the other bit is true.

02/17/2012

js250

I feel that as long as your toy use is agreed upon between the two of you, you are both in agreement and it is used for a relationship/sexual enhancer then it is fine. Do you worry about books, movies, etc. that are used as a relationship enhancer? This is a more intimate factor. But the feeling a lot of people get from using these aids are society based, not personal.

02/17/2012

Ms. Spice

I feel like Hot 'n Sexy Texas Mama could make a great contribution to this. I would ask her opinion personally, if she doesn't make a comment here.

02/17/2012

Airen Wolf

(EF Review Program Mentor)

Quote:

Originally posted by SecretToyLover2

Actually sex aides that date back to prehistoric times have been discovered that are covered in a patina of female sex fluids so they most certainly were around in Biblical times! My feeling is it is not mentioned in the Bible because it wasn't considered a bad or good thing....it simply was so obsequious that it wasn't deemed worth of expounding on.

Taking what I, myself, would reason: If the toys are not taking your focus off of your partner and cheating him/her out of time or emotional connection with you then how could they be harmful. Studies, and I mean real ones not done by the right wing fringies who want to control everything sexual, show that even frequent use doesn't cause stretching of the vaginal barrel or de-sensitization of the clitoral nerves.

Masturbation for males was mentioned because of the erroneous belief that men had a limited amount of seminal fluid (humors) and would in effect run out if they masturbated too often. We now know that proper prostate health depends on the prostate being emptied fully and often so in effect denying a man the right to rub can actually cause him harm...and it really does no harm so long as he isn't cheating his partner of intimacy or time.

Personally, my God isn't a sex police type God. I am responsible for my health as best as I can manage it and I am also responsible to look and be sure I am not developing bad habits....and if I do I seriously doubt God will punish me because the effects of my actions will have natural consequences.

I was raised Catholic and I was never taught that sex toys were bad as long as they brought joy to a married couple and added to the couple's pleasure. So I think I'd have problems with a group who espouse that philosophy.
Trust your relationship with God and let other humans have their views! You are not responsible for what other's believe God wants...listen and let Him tell you.

02/17/2012

MamaDivine

Quote:

Originally posted by SecretToyLover2

I think that it really depends on what your intentions are in using these items. Honestly, I was raised in a Christian home with a mom that was pretty vocal about the rights and wrongs. Granted, she also has a very twisted sense of humor and you can talk to her about anything, sexual or not. Shes a great person and I think that is where I get my levelheadedness from when it comes to things of this matter.

When I use a toy, I am usually considering or thinking of my significant other. I do not have adulterous thoughts, fantasies or antyhing that would "not mix" well with my morals/religion/faith. I guess I might just be weird like that LOL. Who knows. To each their own

03/03/2012

MamaDivine

Quote:

Originally posted by MamaDivine

To add on to this, vibrators were actually created back in 1908 I think it was? Maybe it was 1800's or something? Back when women would have depression or suffer from "hysteria" I think they called it? Panic attacks and the like? (At least that is what I understood it to be).

The vibrator was invented by a doctor that had treated many women for the "hysteria", by stimulating their clitoris, sending them into orgasms. This was actually a medical practice. The doctor invented the vibrator as a way to have the woman treat themselves "at home".

I can't recall where on earth I read this, but I read it back when I was selling adult novelties and sex toys about 10 years ago. How true this all is, I haven't a clue, but this is how I understood the article. Pretty crazy!

03/03/2012

Errant Venture

No, it's quite true. Though they were around before 1908. They were made in the late 1800s.

03/03/2012

Gracie

Since I believe our bodies were designed by God, I believe sex and sexual pleasure is also designed and approved of by God. If toys enhance the sex in your marriage that is a good thing! I also believe masturbation is also a gift. And this is true for males and females! I believe the use of toys is in no way at odds with practicing sexual purity. Human beings are inherently sexual! And this is a good thing! I find the Bible to be a sex positive book. I think problems arise when flawed humans read the text with a sex negative view and then teach their opinions as if that is what God said. When you go back and read those same words through a sex positive lens then you realize that it is the interpretation of the Bible, not the Bible itself that causes people to struggle with guilt and shame about sexual issues. I would question any religion that is overly interested in what is going on in the privacy of your bedroom with your husband. What goes on between the 2 of you is sacred and it is no one else’s business. And it is your job to protect that.

03/03/2012

Total posts: 11 Unique posters: 8

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