I am usually a very happy-go-lucky person- even though I don't always show it. I am very optimistic and practical. And have a unique sense of humour. I eat well, I exercise, I spend a fair bit of time outside. I love the world, but not such a big fan of most people. I know I am happy 98% of the time.

Maybe 90% of the time.

Whenever I spoke to one of my sisters I always feel as if I am not good enough and all those negative emotions as she enjoys belittling and sharing her feelings of insecurity to other people. But not sharing her insecurities, but making the person she is talking to feel insecure. How she goes on about how I don't care for our family enough because I choose to live on the other side of the planet.

This goes on and on. But I think you get the hint.

After speaking to her, or hearing about the horrible comments she passes onto the rest of the family, or hear about all the terrible things she has done sometimes I feel just so low and so sad depressed even that we are from the same parents, the same house, we grew up together maybe I am really just like her and all the happy-go-lucky parts of me is just an act. It is only during these times do I stop being happy as my "resolve" is shaken/tested or however you say that.

JS250... where do you come up with these threads? They are brilliant!!!

a lot of the time

During one of the lowest points in my adult life, I was hospitalized for depression for over two weeks. It was a painful experience in many ways, but I also learned things that have helped me to not get disabled by depression again. One of the most useful things I learned was that it's important to recognize our attitude, and to look at whether our attitude fits the situation or not. And if not, to look at what attitude would fit.

The example my therapist used was traffic lights. Some people go through life focusing on the red lights, he said; they get upset by unexpected, and seemingly undeserved, bad luck (red lights), and don't get happy about the equally undeserved good luck (green lights) they get. He said people who tend to get upset by the red lights in life were more likely to get majorly depressed than people who tend to "woo hoo" the green lights.

I saw his point. It doesn't actually make sense to get upset by bad luck, although it's a natural reaction for a lot of us. It's just as logical (or illogical) to celebrate good luck, even though celebrating it doesn't come naturally — BUT it can be learned.

Since then, I've worked to practice noticing and celebrating good luck, and writing off bad luck for what it is: something bad, beyond my control, which happened. It's amazing how much better it feels to focus on, accept, and celebrate the good things than it does to get high blood pressure over the bad things.

So, to FINALLY answer your question: No — I don't feel like I deserve to be happy. I don't feel like I deserve to be unhappy. I don't feel like I deserve the good OR the bad luck I get. As Will Munny said to Little Bill in Unforgiven, "Deserve's got nothin' to do with it."

And yeah, I used to undermine myself. I used to believe that I was obligated to live up to certain standards. First, they were my parents' standards. Then my friends', teachers' and coaches' standards. Then, when I started having relationships, they became my partners' standards. When I tried to look at myself through their eyes, I never figured that I fully met expectations. And I figured that if there was a Higher Power, I didn't met that standard, either.

So, when something bad happened to me, I figured I deserved it. When something good happened, I believed I didn't deserve it. And I guess I wanted the world to be fair, so I tried to sabotage whatever good fortune it was. Like, when I finally had a great relationship with a girl, I cheated on her the first chance I got. And I "confessed" it to her. And our relationship was ruined.

Now, I don't worry about standards. I figure I'm just the way I'm supposed to be. I'm just the way Nature (or the Higher Power of the faith of your choice) made me. When something bad happens, I try to just say "fuck it" and get on with what I'm doing. I know I didn't deserve it. When something good happens, I make sure to notice it and celebrate it. I didn't deserve it, either, and it's awesome. Like winning the lottery. It still doesn't come 100% naturally to do that, but it's easier than it used to be. And I don't feel any need to undermine myself anymore. I like green lights. And I feel a LOT better. About everything.

At this point of my life I am questioning whether I did deserve to be born at all. I have lived a fairly privileged life, but was never able to us the opportunities that were given to me.As for happiness - I am not sure. I have not been happy for a very long time, so I guess I got what I deserved.

I think I do. I'm not a terrible person. Well, sometimes I am but it's not like it's not a reaction to a terrible world where I have to watch my back all the time.
I think I should be happy, I'm just not sure how to get there.

Deep down, I think I do deserve to be happy, but I do get in my own way a lot. My past has a lot to do with it, but I don't want to share all that and bum people out.

I used to...but when I got a new attitude on life due to a traumatic event--I realized that the negative thinking was what was getting in the way of my happiness. You cannot blame life or other people for your emotions, YOU are the one responsible for your emotions, future and happiness. I will not say there are not days when I am seriously depressed, but they are much fewer and do not last as long as they used to in the past.
(Sorry for the double post--I hit the wrong button, damn Windows 8!

A few months ago, I would have answered yes. I have struggled with clinical depression and anxiety since childhood. But lately, I've been happier than I ever have been in my life. I'm expecting my first child, and apparently the combination of hormones and being psyched about becoming a mother is making some changes for me. I hope that it keeps up. I believe it will. In answer to the OP, I believe everyone deserves to be happy, but nothing/no one can MAKE them happy. That's an inside job.