Does happiness equal reality minus expectations?

I think its a fair way of explaining why setting expectations too inevitably leads to unhappiness. But like any adage it has its limits - you can't set your expectations at the bottom and expect to be happy either.

If only life was that simple.

I agree, the less expectations you have, the less disappointments you will have. Therefore you will be a happier person

It's really situational but I'm inclined to say more often than not that life doesn't work like that.

Have you ever heard the expression Ignorance is bliss?


It applies here.

Bob, is a very intelligent man. He works 65 hours a week for a fortune 500 company in a very esteemed role. He expects the deal he's been working on for months to go through when all of a sudden the deal falls through. Bob is crushed.



Joe, is below average. He scraped through high school and does hard physical labor 50 hours a week. His only expectation is that he'll work all week and have the weekend off to spend his meager paycheck doing something with his family. His expectations are met every time. He doesn't expect much, but he is happy.


It's all interpretation. Bob would think Joe is poor because he doesn't make much and doesn't expect much. Joe would think Bob is poor because he makes 6 figures a year, but can't even think of his daughter's best friends name.

Yeah, I went off on a tangent and talked about irrelevant crap. But, I didn't expect this post to make as much sense as it did.... so I am happy ;-)

My own take is that generally, it's true. I think it's vital to have realistic expectations and goals. In my own life, my biggest disappointments have resulted from impossible expectations.

But having said that, what works for me might not work for you. Some people thrive on setting impossible targets for themselves; this spurs them to achieve more than they would have accomplished with more modest ambitions.

This type of person doesn't mind not reaching the goal, but simply wants to reach their full potential. My hat's off to them; I usually feel like I've "lost" when I don't hit my targets, even if I got better results than I would have achieved with "realistic" expectations. On the flip side, when I do reach/exceed my goals, even if they were more modest than they could have been, I still feel a warm glow of accomplishment and victory. As with so many things, it really varies a lot from person to person.