Friendly vs. Too Friendly......

Contributor: js250 js250
I have a public persona which is friendly, bubbly and outgoing--many people have taken this in the wrong manner and thought I was being flirtatious. Trust me--if I was flirting, They would know it!!! Has this happened to you? Do you feel like you have to be 'guarded' when you meet/talk to others? What happened to just being friendly and not wanting anyone, (I am already with the one I want and have been for over 16 years....)?????
06/11/2013
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Contributor: MrWill MrWill
Quote:
Originally posted by js250
I have a public persona which is friendly, bubbly and outgoing--many people have taken this in the wrong manner and thought I was being flirtatious. Trust me--if I was flirting, They would know it!!! Has this happened to you? Do you feel like you ... more
Eh, I get in trouble in the "real world" for being too aloof and standoffish towards new people... so no I can't say I've ever been called to friendly!
06/11/2013
Contributor: Ayumi Ayumi
I have gotten in trouble for being "too friendly" which is annoying to me because if I want someone, they won't have to do too much guessing or game playing to know it. I can't stand that fluff and distraction stuff.

At any rate, it's weird for me because I have a lot of anxiety about social situations and I think that oscillate between being overcompensatingly-fri endly and withdrawn. It is often a relief when I get into a conversation with someone that I am actually enjoying and so I think they take my engagement in the topic as me also communicating that I want to do something, which is usually not the case.

Ha, I'm just starved for good communication and am pretty excited when something goes well because of all my anxiety. But then I end up being more anxious when I realize they think I've communicated I want something else.

A vicious cycle.
06/11/2013
Contributor: Mwar Mwar
I get it both ways. Many people think I'm too rough or intimidating. I don't think most people need to be coddled. Then there are women who think I'm out to steal their guy. If I wanted to bang them, trust me, it would have happened
06/11/2013
Contributor: SourAppleMartini SourAppleMartini
I wouldn't call myself very friendly, I am actually quite shy. But it has happen to me on numerous occasions and I can never understand why. I guess some people just have good self-confidence and think that any person who is even remotely nice to them has a hidden agenda. Because they are just sooo attractive .
06/11/2013
Contributor: ImaGodiva ImaGodiva
I go in phases, really friendly (not THAT kind of friendly) one day, then on another day I will be more quiet/reserved. My friends know this about me, but sometimes I feel self-conscious (if I'm feeling friendly), or anxious (if I'm feeling reserved) around people I don't know. Mostly though, at my age, I figure I'm just me, and I'm not on earth to please everyone, so I just go with how I'm feeling at a given time.
06/11/2013
Contributor: Woman China Woman China
LOL!!! Me too!!!

I say it frequently, "Darling, if I were flirting with you... there wouldn't be a doubt in your mind." I think there is a big difference between charming and flirting. Flirting, my intentions are to take you home (usually, I'd just come out and say what I want to make sure there are no mixed signs). Charming is being nice and sociable while putting you at ease with no ulterior motives.

However; many people seem to think I am flirting with everyone when I am just being pleasant.

I find it hilarious, but makes many a people (usually women) on-edge. It's great in business settings or when a job must be done!!!
06/11/2013